


The Happiest Days of our Lives

by elliroc



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen, Horcrux Hunting, Marauders' Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-12
Updated: 2015-04-12
Packaged: 2018-03-22 12:10:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 56,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3728443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elliroc/pseuds/elliroc
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Marauders era AU: Sirius stumbles across a memory in Dumbledore's office and the Marauders begin a seemingly impossible quest to find and destroy all of Voldemort's Horcruxes. Begins in 1978 in the Marauders seventh year. MWPP.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story was originally posted on FanFiction.Net under the username Elliroc.

The prank went off without a hitch, as their pranks usually did these days. Months of planning had finally come to fruition and the Great Hall had been inverted quite spectacularly. Chairs, tables, candles, food – all of it, seemingly hanging from the ceiling. Sirius, James and Peter had done most of the work on that part; Remus had been too busy figuring out the truly complicated side of the plan. None of them were sure it was going to work, not even Remus – least of all Remus – until the first student walked into the hall.

Woosh! The surprised girl let out a terrified shriek as she suddenly flew into the air, flipping over halfway to the ceiling-become-floor and landing on her feet. Upside down, standing on the ceiling.

"It works!" Sirius whooped quietly, high-fiving first James, then Remus and Peter. The four boys were just across the corridor from the entrance to the hall, cramped together under the invisibility cloak so they could admire their handiwork in secrecy. James was Head Boy now, after all, and it really wouldn't do to have the Head Boy caught doing something so juvenile.

"Of course it worked, when do we ever fail?" James asked cockily. Remus laughed and didn't bother to answer the question, but the smile on his face was nothing short of proud. Even Peter was grinning from ear to ear, high on the success.

A group of first years came up the corridor then, chattering amongst themselves and oblivious to the fate that awaited them. Sirius couldn't resist it; he just had to watch their faces as they were caught in the gravity trap. Ignoring James's protests he left the safety of the invisibility cloak and joined onto the end of the scraggly group of first years. They were all so busy talking amongst themselves that none of them noticed him follow them to the entrance of the hall and stop just short of the start of the spell. From there he had a perfect view of the looks of utmost surprise on each of their faces as they were whisked off their feet and sent flying to the ceiling to join the rest of the students; most of whom had started eating as if there was nothing unusual about the entire room suddenly being upside down.

"Ahem." Sirius was still standing in the middle of the entranceway, laughing so hard his sides hurt, when he heard a clearing of the throat behind him which was unmistakeably McGonagall. When he turned around she was staring down her nose at him with her hands on her hips and all he could do was grin.

**o 0 o**

McGonagall marched him straight up to Dumbledore's office. Apparently she didn't find the same humour as Sirius did in the idea of eating her dinner upside down, nor did she quite appreciate the skill that it had taken to create the effect. Sirius wasn't too worried; he never was when dragged to the Headmaster's office. Annoyed that he'd let himself be caught, maybe, yes; but not worried. On entering the office McGonagall left Sirius with strict instructions to stand still, not touch anything, and wait for Dumbledore; and then she headed off to the dinner she was missing. Sirius waited until she was gone and then began to explore.

Dumbledore's office was always full of extraordinary things, and this time was no different. Sirius's eye was immediately drawn to the open door of a small cabinet. It was full of all sorts of strange contraptions, some small, some large, some he'd never seen before; but Sirius immediately recognised the Pensieve sitting on the middle shelf. The strange, silvery substance of a memory swirled around inside of the otherwise plain looking bowl, and he was mesmerised. The temptation was far too high for someone as impulsive and reckless as Sirius to resist, so he leant forward over the bowl until the room lurched around him.

"Ugh," Sirius muttered to himself when the world stopped spinning and he found himself standing in Horace Slughorn's office. Sirius was no stranger to Horace Slughorn's office, having stood in front of this desk many times before, mostly to receive detentions and lose house points; but he was surprised to see that the man sitting behind the desk was a younger version of Slughorn himself. The older wizard's straw coloured hair was thicker than Sirius remembered it from Potions that morning but he was dressed just as gaudily, his richly embroidered waistcoat accentuated with large golden buttons. Sirius rolled his eyes at the way the overweight man lounged in the winged armchair, glass of wine in one hand, mouth full of what appeared to be crystallised pineapple.

"Sir, is it true that Professor Merrythought is retiring?"

Sirius started and spun around. Until he heard the voice he hadn't realised there was anyone else in the room besides Slughorn, but now he could see five or six boys about his age sitting around on an assortment of mismatched (and uncomfortable looking) seats. The boy who had spoken was handsome and looked strangely familiar, though Sirius wasn't sure why. The ring that he was displaying like a newly engaged, giddy little witch looked like something Sirius's mother would wear: black stone set into a thick gold band.

"Tom, Tom, if I knew I couldn't tell you," said Slughorn. Sirius didn't turn to look at him again, though he could imagine the wagging finger from his own encounters with the wizard. The boy, Tom, Sirius knew him from somewhere. "I must say, I'd like to know where you get your information, boy; more knowledgeable than half the staff, you are." Tom smiled; the other boys laughed and cast him admiring looks. Slughorn was still rambling on, but Sirius was paying no attention to him – he heard him ramble every potions lesson and payed no attention then, why would he want to listen to him now when there was the more pressing question of who this strangely familiar face was?

"What with your uncanny ability to know things you shouldn't, and your careful flattery of the people who matter – thank you for the pineapple, by the way, you're quite right, it is my favourite."

Sirius's train of thought was interrupted entirely then, for the room began filling with such a thick fog that he groped for his wand before remembering he couldn't be harmed in a memory. When Slughorn's voice boomed out of the mist Sirius was glad he was alone so no one could see him jump.

"You'll go wrong, boy, mark my words."

"Wait a second," Sirius said out loud, blinking as the fog cleared. No one in the room seemed to have noticed that it had even been there at all, which was confusing as hell; but Sirius had just put the pieces together and was staring at the handsome boy with the black and gold ring with something that could only be described as a mixture of horror and a slightly morbid fascination. "Tom. Tom, Tom Riddle, I bet. Blimey, James is going to be so mad he missed this!" Behind him Slughorn was rambling about the time and essays and detentions; some things never did change apparently. The boys all started to shuffle out of the room, all except for Riddle, who approached the desk.

Slughorn was refilling his wine glass and didn't notice that Riddle had stayed. Typical, Sirius thought dryly. When the teacher noticed he straightened. "Look sharp, Tom, you don't want to be caught out of bed out of hours, and you a prefect…" Slughorn wiped his sugary fingers on his waistcoat.

"Sir, I wanted to ask you something." Riddle said, and Sirius pretended to gag at the sickly charm that all but radiated from him. Slughorn was powerless against it, anyone could tell. Riddle had him wrapped around his little finger and Sirius wondered how the man lived with himself knowing he'd been so taken in by a madman.

"Ask away, then, m'boy, ask away..."

"Sir, I wondered what you know about ... about Horcruxes?"

Before Sirius even had a chance to be confused, to wonder what a Horcrux was, the room was filled with a dense fog all over again. Sirius only winced this time at Slughorn's booming voice. "I don't know anything about Horcruxes and I wouldn't tell you if I did! Now get out of here at once and don't let me catch you mentioning them again!"

Before he knew it Sirius found himself flung back into Dumbledore's study. There were footsteps approaching the room, and Sirius only made it two steps away from the open cabinet before Dumbledore himself appeared in the doorway. Any thought of the memory was quickly banished from his mind as he turned his brightest smile to the older wizard, ready to talk his way out of whatever trouble he was in.

**o 0 o**

The dark red of the upholstery on the common room chairs seemed almost golden in the flickering light from the fire in the hearth. Remus sat curled into the base of one, bare toes pressed against the arm rest, head buried in a book. Completely taken in by whatever land lay on the other side of those pages, entranced by it, oblivious to the rest of the world around him. He barely reacted when Sirius appeared beside him, still engrossed in his book, and the flick of the wand which sent all of the pages flipping over earned Sirius only a glare and a "sod off" before the pages started flipping back to the one Remus had been reading.

"I've got somethin' to ask you," Sirius placed himself on the arm of the chair beside Remus, swinging his feet against Remus's chair. Thud, thud, thud, thud. Remus ignored him for as along as he could, which was longer than most but not very long, and then sighed.

"I suppose I'll have to answer you before you leave me alone?" He was still paying more attention to the book than to Sirius, but he sounded resigned enough that Sirius knew he'd put the book down soon.

"Pretty much, yeah."

He was right; Remus did put down the book. He didn't mark the page, but Sirius didn't know if that was because he remembered which one he was on or if he'd somehow charmed the book to remember for him; he wouldn't put either past his friend. The common room was empty apart from the two of them. It was late, and everyone else had headed up to bed hours ago. Sirius wondered if Remus was waiting for him to get back, but dismissed the thought immediately. They had an understanding, the four of them, that if you got caught for a prank it was on your head, whether you were the only one involved or not. The others getting away scot free wasn't something Sirius would be annoyed over, or that they would feel guilty over. It was Sirius's own dumb fault he'd been caught, after all. If it had been James, Sirius might've thought he stayed up so he could tease Sirius about his meeting with the Headmaster; but Remus wasn't the type to go to so much trouble for a little ribbing.

"I saw a memory in Dumbledore's office," Sirius told Remus.

"That's not a question."

"No. But it was odd." Sirius explained the fogginess, the parts of the memory which made no sense to him. Remus listened, a slight frown between his eyes that Sirius always wanted to rub away.

"It sounds like it's been tampered with," Remus said eventually when Sirius finished. His book was forgotten now, and he was sitting up in the chair more than lying in it. Intrigued.

"Yes, that's what I thought." Sirius grinned, smug even though he'd needed to confirm it. "But what is a Horcrux?"

"I don't know." Remus settled back into the chair, the frown etched a little deeper now. "Never heard of it before." Sirius stared at him expectantly, feet still thudding against the side of Remus's chair. Thud, thud, thudthud, thud. "I suppose you want me to find out," Remus sighed eventually. Sirius grinned.

"Thanks mate," he jumped up off the chair. "Well, I'm off to bed. 'Night, Moony."

Remus lifted a hand in farewell and, with another sigh, returned to his book.

**o 0 o**

"I knew you'd be here," Sirius said smugly as he dropped into the chair across from Remus.

"Of course you did, you've got the map." Remus wasn't impressed; in fact, he barely looked up from the notes he was making. "Haven't found anything yet. Nothing in any of those books," he indicated the pile to his left. The library was mostly empty, but the librarian was likely to be prowling around somewhere so Remus kept his voice down.

Sirius leant across the table in an attempt to snatch the piece of parchment Remus was writing on, but Remus had anticipated his move and shoved his hand away before he could grab it. Sirius didn't bother pretending to be abashed at being caught, just let his upper body flop onto the table, arms still outstretched in front of him, ready for another chance to steal the page.

"Have you looked in the restricted section?"

"No. I haven't, and I won't."

"Then I will," Sirius decided, pushing his hands against the table to propel himself back into his seat.

Remus just shrugged. "You're welcome to."

The silence stretched for a while, Sirius not moving from his seat and Remus continuing to take notes from the large book that was open beside him.

"A chocolate bar?" Sirius asked eventually.

"More like five."

"Two."

"Three."

"Deal."

That settled, Remus lifted his head from the notes he was making and grinned at Sirius. " _Magick Moste Evile_  only mentions them in passing, but doesn't really go into what they actually _are_ at all." He ignored Sirius's spluttering at being tricked (he should know by now that Remus could be mighty cunning, especially with the possibility of chocolate involved, but Sirius always underestimated him) and continued. "I did find this though," he passed the piece of parchment he'd been writing on across to his dark haired friend. "I didn't feel like trying to sneak in or talk my way into the Restricted Section, so I just tried an 'accio Horcrux books'. This one didn't come from the library," he indicated the volume that he'd been copying out of. "It's not pretty. Nasty magic." Remus watched Sirius's face as his friend read over the notes that he'd made.

"He's making himself immortal?"

"Basically, yeah. Look, Sirius, I know you're curious or whatever, but I think we should leave this to Dumbledore. He knows what he's doing."

"But-"

"We don't even know what Slughorn really told him, anyway. This book doesn't give you any information that would be actually useful to create them. Maybe he gave up and never did."

Sirius stared at Remus incredulously. "You really think that?"

"No."

"We'll tell Prongs and Wormtail tonight."

"Right."

**o 0 o**

Remus spread the parchment out on his bed, smoothing out the crumples that it had gained from being in Sirius's pocket all day. James and Peter both leaned forward, peering down at the page. With the curtains drawn around the bed there was hardly enough light to read the words, so James whispered a 'Lumos' and held his wand over the page. Sirius's eyes looked almost wild in the magical light, the grin on his face verging on manic. Remus was more subdued – he'd insisted on the secrecy, though Sirius had been happy to oblige him because subterfuge always made things more exciting. The topic of Horcruxes was banned at Hogwarts, and after reading the book he had in his bag next to him on the bed Remus knew why. The charms he'd put around the bed would prevent anyone outside from hearing anything they said and the curtains wouldn't open until he released them, but he was still nervous. If someone found out what they were doing they could get into a lot of trouble.

"Blimey," James said eventually, once he'd finished reading the page. Peter was still reading it, but the expression on his face echoed that on James's. Sirius had already explained the altered memory he'd seen while in Dumbledore's office, and now James volunteered to be the one to talk to Slughorn to try to find out more.

Remus shook his head, "you know he won't talk to you, James."

"He'd talk to Lily," James said. "I'll get her to talk to him for us."

"No you bloody won't!" Sirius exclaimed. "She's not a Marauder, we can't go giving away our secrets!"

"Lily can keep a secret!" James said angrily, leaping to his girlfriend's defence without even thinking about it.

"You'd have to tell her about all of this or she wouldn't agree," Remus said quietly. "You know that."

"And she wouldn't let it drop once she knew," Sirius added.

"Maybe you could just mention hearing the word and wanting to know what it means," Peter suggested. James looked at him thoughtfully, but Sirius interjected before he could say anything.

"As soon as Slughorn told her anything about them, she'd know what we're doing. No. You can't go to her."

Before James could reply Remus quickly said, "Peter can do it. He's the best at potions, and Slughorn likes him."

"Peter will be great," Sirius decided. Everyone turned and looked at Peter.

"I'll do it," he said it with a grin, but he looked absolutely terrified.


	2. Chapter 2

Peter was good at Potions. He'd always been better at it than James and Sirius. Remus did well with the theory but he'd never been too great with the practical side. Professor Slughorn liked those who could excel within his classroom, so he liked Peter; which made Peter the logical choice for this little mission. Except it was Peter, and he could be a bumbling idiot sometimes, so Remus was worried.

They didn't get a chance to do anything for a few weeks, but that was okay because it gave the boys time to plan their method of attack. It was James who developed the plan. Slughorn needed to be in a particularly giving kind of mood, and James suggested that be done with a potion of some sort. Remus knew the perfect one.

Sirius stole the ingredients from the potion master's cupboard and Peter made the potion during a quiet weekend in late January. The potion had to mature for a full lunar phase (which the boys were all quite good at keeping track of for some reason) so it wouldn't be ready for use until near the end of February. In the mean time, the boys immersed themselves in their usual activities, but nothing seemed to be able to hold their attention for too long.

Coming up to the full moon, Remus looked pale and sick. He kept his head down in class, hiding behind his honey brown hair, and got quieter and quieter when he was alone with the other Marauders until he barely contributed to their conversations at all; which left James and Sirius talking and Peter listening on with rapt attention while Remus sat and read a book or stared into space and didn't hear a word. It was like this every month; he withdrew into himself and fought some kind of internal battle as the pull of the moon grew stronger until he lost over to the wolf as the full moon rose.

Remus could say it was better now that he had the other Marauders there with him as much as he wanted. They could roam the grounds, and Sirius and James could keep him under control, mostly; but Remus was still terrified he'd hurt one of them, or eat Peter, or something equally terrible. Every morning that he woke up in the Shack – covered in new scratches, some of which would scar – he was just glad to be human again.

His mother kept sending owls with letters containing clippings from medical journals with talks of a potion being developed that would help werewolves contain their minds during the transformation, but there was no real progress being made on it and Remus was resigned to spending the full moon with the mind of the wolf. His memory of his time as a wolf was hazy at best – flashes here and there of  _hungry_ and  _run_  and strange, out of focus pictures of the moon and trees flashing past. And then the pain, that never seemed to really set in until the next morning when he woke up lying naked on the torn up floor of the shack and everything ached and muscles screamed at him when he moved and dried blood flaked off his skin as he pulled on his clothes.

Madam Pomfrey came to collect him after the moon set and escorted him back to the castle as she always did. Remus all but fell into the waiting bed, the exhaustion soon pulling him down into a semblance of sleep, interrupted whenever he tried to move and his body reminded him that it hurt. That was the thing with being a werewolf; the wounds he gave himself during his transformations couldn't be healed like normal wounds. While he was sleeping (or trying to sleep) Madam Pomfrey applied a combination of salves to his fresh cuts to speed up the healing process and lessen the chance of scarring, but she couldn't heal them instantly like she could with anything else and she always insisted he stay for at least 24 hours after each full moon. Not that Remus was ever really in any kind of state to object.

It was a still bedridden Remus who suggested the pineapple. The other Marauders had come to visit him after they had finished their classes for the day, bouncing with the knowledge that classes were over for the week and tomorrow was the weekend, and all they could talk about was how they were going to get Slughorn to drink the Veritaserum. By now Sirius had told them all about the memory a thousand times, and Remus had had all day lying in bed to think about it, so no one was all that surprised when he discovered the solution.

"If we put the potion in the pineapple it will be much easier to get him to take," he pointed out and James made the trip to Hogsmeade the next afternoon, returning with two boxes of crystallised pineapple (and a few boxes of other sweets for himself, plus a chocolate bar for Remus). Peter administered the Veritaserum he'd brewed to the contents of one box. Just a single piece of the pineapple would have Slughorn spilling his deepest secrets, which was just what they wanted.

**o 0 o**

A few days after they had completed the last few details of their plan Peter got the chance to put it in action. Their potions lesson had been all theory that day and when it was over the students were almost falling over one another to get out the door, so no one noticed when Remus disappeared under the invisibility cloak or that Peter stayed behind. Slughorn had turned around to rearrange some papers on his desk, so Peter cleared his throat so as not to startle him.

"Hm?" Slughorn turned around and saw Peter standing there. "Oh, Peter. Can I help you?"

"No, sir. Well, I just wanted to thank you for teaching us the Restoration Potion last week, and I bought you these," Peter was babbling a little, nervous as all hell. Even though he couldn't see him he knew Remus was standing somewhere in the room with them, and he was terrified that Slughorn would somehow just know that he was, or know that the pineapple was laced with Veritaserum, or have the antidote on him – and oh god, none of them had considered the possibility of him having the antidote! Or, Peter took a deep breath. Remus would have thought of it, and probably hadn't mentioned it because he knew Peter would freak out. A little belatedly he realised he was clutching the box so hard he was crumpling the sides and he quickly held it out to Professor Slughorn.

"Well, you needn't have!" Slughorn looked surprised, and with good reason. Peter might be skilled with potions but he had never thanked the teacher for teaching him a new one with a box of sweets, especially not for a potion as simple and basically useless to him as a Restoration Potion. Even James could make a Restoration Potion without any difficulty. But the Professor took the offered box and looked inside. "Pineapple! It is my favourite, dear boy. How did you know?"

"Oh, uh, just a lucky guess!" Peter glanced around the room wondering where Remus was standing and wishing he could swap places with him and be under the cloak right now. "They're my fa- aather's favourite, you see." He had almost said they were his favourite too, and then realised the potential disaster if Slughorn had offered him one. Luckily Slughorn was too busy picking a piece of crystallised pineapple out of the box to be paying any attention to Peter.

Remus, from where he was standing in the corner, was almost ready to cut his losses and leave. This was a disaster, Peter was panicking, and he should never have suggested him for this job. Even while Slughorn was choosing the biggest piece of pineapple to taste Peter was looking around the room, obviously searching for him, and Remus wanted to smack him on the head with his wand. Luckily for Peter, Slughorn finally chose a piece and ate it. Within seconds his face had relaxed completely and he was staring straight ahead, eyes blank.

"Remus?" Peter's voice was still verging on panic, and he breathed an audible sigh of relief when Remus shrugged off the cloak and joined him in front of the teacher. Remus wasn't entirely sure how to do this, so he took a deep breath and stared at Slughorn for a few moments before he begun.

"Do you remember Tom Riddle?" He asked, because he had to begin somewhere and it seemed anti-climactic to begin in the middle. It seemed anti- climactic to begin here, too.

"Yes. Best student I ever had," Slughorn's voice was flat and emotionless and it sent shivers down Remus's spine. Though he'd read about the power of Veritaserum he'd never seen it used before and he hadn't been expecting this. It sounded like the words were coming from some place deep inside Slughorn, crawling up his throat and spilling out of his mouth without his permission. Remus paused long enough for Peter to turn to him, questioning, and then with a quick shake of his head that didn't quite clear away his misgivings, he continued.

"He asked you about Horcruxes."

"Yes." The professor's eyes were focussed on something behind Remus, and he fought down the urge to glance over his shoulder as he prompted him to go on.

"What did you tell him?"

"Dark stuff, very Dark indeed," Slughorn intoned, voice still empty. "An object in which a person has concealed a part of their soul... he wanted to know how to make one, and I told him it can only be done if you split your soul and hide part of it in an object outside the body. It is powerful magic… you see, even if one's body is attacked or destroyed, one cannot die, for part of the soul remains earthbound and undamaged."

Remus already knew the basics of this from the book he'd found, the one that didn't come from the library – something that was worrying him, just a little. Wherever it did come from, there might be someone missing it. Remus wasn't sure he wanted to try to explain what he was doing with a book on a forbidden subject; especially considering what that subject was. "Did you tell him how to do it?"

"By committing murder. Killing rips the soul apart." Hearing those words spoken without so much as a glimmer of emotion was off-putting to say the least. Remus glanced at Peter, who looked a little green, and wished (not for the first time) that Sirius or James were here instead. Whether he meant instead of him or instead of Peter even he wasn't sure. "But Tom wanted to know if he, if it was possible to split one's soul into seven pieces. Seven is the most powerfully magical number, you see."

"Seven Horcruxes?" Peter gaped.

"No, six. Six Horcruxes. The seventh piece would still be within his body." There was no hesitation before he answered, but somehow Remus could feel that the words weren't ones that Slughorn would have ever said willingly and he wondered how he could justify this sort of violation of another person, even if it was for the greater good. Ha, the greater good. That wonderful, unquantifiable thing that seemed to excuse any number of crimes. Remus didn't know if he could excuse himself, but he kept going anyway because someone had to do it and he'd already started. Six Horcruxes? It was enough to make him despair. How was anybody supposed to find  _six_  Horcruxes when they didn't even know where to start looking for the first one?

"Did he say what he was going to use to make them?" He asked eventually, because without Peter interrupting the silence had stretched on for far too long and the potion was bound to wear off soon.

"It was all theoretical."

"Of course, of course it was. Ah, if Tom did make a Horcrux, do you know what he might have made it with?" Remus rephrased his question carefully.

"I imagine he'd want to use things of importance to him and to the rest of the Wizarding world. Things that would be unlikely to be destroyed. But I don't know what exactly he would have used, hypothetically speaking you know."

"If you had to guess?"

"Possibly his ring, yes. That ring was very important to him." Slughorn was silent for a few moments and then he added, "He was always fond of grand gestures, you know."

"Okay. Well, um. Thank you, Professor," Remus said awkwardly. He glanced at Peter. "I'll wipe his memory now Peter, switch the boxes." Peter quickly did as Remus had asked and switched the boxes of pineapple so it was the uncontaminated box now on the Professor's desk. While Peter was doing that Remus opened the door at the back of the classroom so he'd be able to get out without Slughorn noticing the door opening and closing on its own.

"Done," Peter told him, moving back from Slughorn's desk. Remus clutched the invisibility cloak around himself and stood in front of Slughorn, wand raised.

"Obliviate."

Remus slipped back under the invisibility cloak and retreated through the now open door, leaving Peter to fend for himself in case he really did hit the idiot on the head with his wand. He found James and Sirius waiting just down the hall, eager to know what had happened, but there were students everywhere and none of them wanted anybody to overhear this particular conversation so they made their way outside to sit under their usual tree and wait for Peter.

**o 0 o**

Even though James and Sirius were almost bursting with impatience to hear what had happened it was a good half an hour before they got the chance. Just after they had sat under the tree Lily had walked past with her friends and James had bounded off after her like a lovesick puppy. Remus had pulled a book out of his bag and was reading it, ignoring the rest of the world, and nothing Sirius could do would get him to look up until Peter arrived and James finally returned.

"She's amazing," James breathed as he sunk to his knees at the base of the tree. "Just amazing."

"You're amazing. Amazingly sickening," Sirius retorted, but James was too distracted to respond. "Come on Wormtail, you can tell us what he said if Moony won't." Peter looked at Remus guiltily, but Remus just continued to read. He was still replaying the conversation – no, interrogation – from the potions room over and over in his head and at each replay he felt sicker at what he'd done. Slughorn might not be his favourite teacher, and a Slytherin too, but Remus just felt as if he'd betrayed some sort of trust.

"Er, he told us what he told You-Know-Who," Peter said, with another brief glance at Remus to make sure the other boy didn't mind him telling. Not that he really would have stopped; Peter always did anything James or Sirius asked. "Said He wanted to make seven, I mean, six."

"Six?" James stared at Peter and then turned to Remus. "Is that true?" he demanded.

"Mmhm," Remus didn't look up, just turned the page and continued reading. James turned his attention back to Peter.

"Did he tell Him how? Did he know what He was going to use?"

"He did tell Him how, he said to do it you have to," Peter hesitated, "to murder someone. Only murder splits the soul like that." James and Sirius sobered a little at that.

"Well, we already knew He's killed people," Sirius said eventually. "Do we know what we're looking for?"

"Who said we were looking for anything?" Remus spoke up now, still staring at the pages of his book but obviously not reading anymore. His forehead was creased in a frown again and his knuckles were white where they gripped the pages.

"Well, we have to," James pointed out. "I thought that was the point?"

"No, we don't have to. We should take this to Dumbledore; we should tell him what we found from Slughorn."

"No way!" Sirius exclaimed. "Dumbledore wouldn't let us help if he knew! He'd make us sit back and wait while everyone else got to do all of the exciting stuff!"

"Exciting stuff?" Remus looked up from his book now, stared at Sirius, his expression unreadable. "Exciting, is it? People dying? War? You want to be out fighting, watching everyone die around you, do you?" Peter swallowed nervously and James looked uncomfortable.

"That's not what I meant," Sirius replied, but even he looked uncertain for a moment. "I don't think we should go to Dumbledore. He's needed here at Hogwarts; he can't go off searching for the Horcruxes."

"He's got a far better idea of what to look for than we do," Remus pointed out. "We'll just get ourselves killed."

"I think we should tell him," Peter put in. James and Sirius both stared at him for a moment until Peter looked ready to change his mind.

"I don't," James said eventually. "I think we should do this ourselves. We're more than capable. And you do know what to look for Remus, I bet Slughorn told you."

"We are not capable," Remus insisted, but he wasn't really arguing anymore. He knew he'd already lost.

"Sure we are," James said with a grin that seemed entirely unsuitable for the occasion. "You're brilliant at everything, Wormtail's great with potions, Padfoot and I are both well amazing with our wands, and we can use our animal forms when we need to, plus we can get into places other wizards can't with the cloak. We're best suited to do this, better than Dumbledore would be."

"So it's decided," Sirius said before Remus could respond. "We don't tell Dumbledore anything. Now, Remus if you won't tell us what Slughorn said then Peter will."

Remus was glaring at his book now as if it contained something that was of great offence to him. "He didn't know."

"Bullshit."

"All he said was Riddle was always fond of grand gestures. And that He might have used His ring."

"His ring? I saw the ring. He was wearing it in the memory," Sirius said, excitement dancing in his grey eyes.

"Right, because that's helpful. What's to say He's not still wearing it now?" Remus asked.

"Oh." Sirius deflated a little. "But grand gestures? What does that mean?"

"I don't know."

"Come on, Moony."

"No." Remus closed his book and shoved it back into his bag. "This is insanity. I'm going to tell Dumbledore." Before he could get to his feet James was shoving him back down to the ground and Remus hadn't even seen him get up.

"No you're not."

"Let me go."

"Not until you come to your senses. You can't tell Dumbledore, or he'll know Sirius was snooping around his office, and that Peter drugged the Potions master with Veritaserum  _and_  that you used a memory charm on a teacher." James pointed out, hands still gripping Remus's shoulders, pressing him down and holding him still.

"Let me go," Remus repeated angrily and James found himself stumbling backwards, tripping over Peter and Sirius and falling into the dirt. They always forgot how skilled Remus was in wandless magic, something none of the other three had ever been able to master no matter how hard they tried. Non-verbal too, but Sirius was moderately good at that, so long as he had his wand. As soon as he'd been released Remus stood up, but he didn't storm off like he'd wanted to a moment ago. James was right, after all.

"Remus, mate," Sirius had gotten to his feet now too. James was regaining his feet and looked ready for a fight, glasses askew and hair even wilder than usual. Peter jumped up as well, if only because he suddenly felt very vulnerable being the only one sitting.

"Just shut up," Remus snapped. "I won't go to him, but I think this is a very bad idea." With that, he pulled his book bag over his shoulder and left. Sirius moved to follow him but James stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.

"Should let him calm down a bit," he advised and although Sirius shrugged his hand off he didn't try to follow Remus again.


	3. Chapter 3

No one mentioned anything about Horcruxes or Voldemort for the next couple of weeks; at least, not to Remus. Sirius and James had a brief conversation after Remus's outburst and decided it was best not to pester him in case he  _did_  go to Dumbledore, as unlikely as that was. All the same, Sirius was about to burst with holding it all in when Remus came into the common room late one afternoon, a large book clutched to his chest, and said: "I have an idea."

It didn't take long for Sirius to find James and Peter, though it did help that he was still the one with the map. Before long they were all gathered together in the Dormitory, sitting on James's bed with the curtains drawn and the usual charms set up for privacy while Sirius annoyed them all by bouncing where he sat.

"So, what is it?" Sirius asked.

"I had an idea what He might have used for his Horcruxes," Remus said, his fingers moving across the faded cover of the book in his lap. "I was reading  _Hogwarts, A History-_ "

"Ah, that's why none of us found anything," Sirius interrupted with a grin. Even in his eagerness to find out what Remus had discovered he couldn't help but get a dig in. "You're the only one who'd bother to reread a book we were assigned in  _first_   _year._ "

"Not that you even read it then," Remus retorted, frowning.

"Shut up, Padfoot. Let Moony finish." James elbowed Sirius into silence before he could reply.

"Well," now Remus had almost lost track of what he was saying, but he was far more relaxed than he had been a few minutes prior. "Well, I was thinking, because Slughorn did say that He was always fond of grand gestures, I wondered if He would have chosen objects of great importance, not just to him but to the Wizarding world in general."

"Sounds like a decent assumption," James agreed.

"Thanks. Anyway, it talks about each of the Founders of Hogwarts, in the book, I mean. You know, Gryffindor and Hufflepuff and whatever." Remus placed the book in front of him on the bed and the pages all flew as if in a gust of wind before lying still, displaying a portrait of each of the Founders of Hogwarts. "I was looking at these portraits and I realised each of the Founders has something with them. Gryffindor has his sword, which we know about. Hufflepuff has a golden cup, Slytherin a locket, and Ravenclaw has a little crown thing. I didn't know if they held significance or not, so I went to the library and I asked some students from other Houses, and each of those items is very important to the House, just like the sword. So," here he paused, surprised that no one had interrupted him yet. When he looked up they were all staring at him. "So, uh," he faltered. "Well, I bet Voldemort at least used Slytherin's locket, anyway. And the diadem – that's the crown thing – has been lost for years, and the cup was stolen from its last owner."

"You… are a genius," James said after a few moments of silence.

"It'd be just like Voldemort to have such delusions of importance to think he should store his soul in those items," Sirius added. Remus was a little concerned by how excited Sirius appeared to be, not to mention the flowery language he was using.

"What about the Sword?" Peter asked, and Remus shrugged.

"I don't know. I know that whenever a true Gryffindor is in need of it they can pull it from the sorting hat, but I have no idea whether a Slytherin would be able to get hold of it. Surely it has a corporeal presence somewhere where Voldemort may have been able to steal it from, but I imagine if it did there would have been an uproar at it having been stolen. I don't know."

For some reason, the idea of the Sword of Gryffindor being a Horcrux was more repulsive to all of the boys than any of the other artefacts. Perhaps it was a misguided sense of House pride which made them believe it was impossible, or perhaps there was something more to it; but they ruled it out anyway.

"Well, now we just need to find these things."

"Yeah, well. That's the problem. They're all lost," Remus sighed.

**o 0 o**

Now that they had direction and something to look for, the Marauders committed themselves to their mission with varying degrees of excitement. All four boys began actively searching the castle whenever they had a chance, though with exams fast approaching those chances were few and far between. They had all agreed that even though it may not be likely that the objects were in the castle (seeing as they wouldn't really be deemed lost if they were hanging around somewhere) they may as well start by looking through Hogwarts or they'd never get anywhere. It was as good a plan as any, so they stuck with it.

Unfortunately, as they were all in Gryffindor, there was no way they could search the other Houses' common rooms or dorms – the most logical places for any of the items they were searching for to be. The invisibility cloak was no help, nor was the map, and they were about to give up entirely when one of them stumbled upon the diadem itself.

James had been actively searching for any of the three items for the last two months, just like the others. He'd opened nearly every door in the damn castle, or at least it felt like it, and had searched more cupboards and desks and drawers than he had realised existed. Nothing. And then one day in early May he was walking down a corridor on the seventh floor, pacing back and forth, wondering whether there even was a Horcrux hidden in Hogwarts and wishing he could find it, when he saw a door he hadn't noticed before. It was a small, non-descript door, right opposite the tapestry depicting the attempt of Barnabas the Barmy to teach trolls ballet; but for some reason James was certain before he even opened it that he was going to find something in the room on the other side. He was right.

The room was full of broken and damaged furniture. Piles of books were stacked on top of chairs and tables and the floor; some open, some closed, dust coating all of them. James stared, open mouthed at the mess. There were cloaks hanging from open drawers, a chipped bust of an ugly warlock with several rusty swords leaning against it; an axe that was stained with what looked like blood, a stuffed troll, piles of jewels and bottles of potions, and more things that James couldn't even name just strewn about the room. In any other place James might have assumed there was an underlying method to the chaos, but even the cursory glance he'd given it on entering told him there wasn't here. The idea of searching all of this by hand was staggering, so he pulled out his wand even though he wasn't all that sure it'd be of any use.

"Accio Horcrux," he tried, but nothing happened. "Uh, Accio locket? Accio cup? Accio diadem?" Nothing. He lowered his wand and stood staring at the mess ahead of him for a few minutes. Either there was nothing here, or there was something but he couldn't summon it. Half of him wanted to go and get the others, ask their opinion, make them help him look; but he was scared that if he left he'd never be able to get back in here. Eventually he shrugged and started to search through the junk.

It was more than three hours later (and he'd pocketed quite a selection of strange objects during that time) that he found the diadem. It looked exactly as it had in the picture Remus had shown them, a small crown like thing. James cradled it in his hands and wondered whether it was really possible that something so small and beautiful could contain a piece of Voldemort's soul.

**o 0 o**

When James showed the diadem to Sirius, Peter and Remus none of them could decide whether to stare at it or him.

"How did you find it?" Remus asked, reaching for the beautiful object. James handed it to him and Remus lifted it up to examine it, amazed. "It's supposed to be lost," he added intelligently.

"It was," James replied with a grin. "But I found it." Sirius punched him in the arm.

"Shut up, git. Where did you find it?"

"In a room on the seventh floor, opposite the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy." James held out his hands and Remus placed the diadem back into them.

"There's a room there?" Sirius asked in surprise. "We don't have one marked on the map."

"It's only there sometimes," James told him knowingly; but at the withering glares he received from both Sirius and Remus he added, "I've never seen it before."

"So how did you find it?"

"I was just pacing back and forth and thinking about where the bloody Horcruxes might be and then there was a door there so I went in and had a look. All sorts of stuff in there," he shook his head in wonder. "Books and potions and cloaks and everything; if you don't mind digging for it."

"Do you think you could get back in there?" Sirius was curious.

"No idea."

"We'll have to figure out how it works," Sirius mused and James nodded in agreement.

"Well, is it one?" Peter asked impatiently, pulling their attention back to the diadem in James's hands. All of the boys looked at Remus, who suddenly did a great impression of a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming muggle car.

"Why are you looking at me?"

"Like we have any idea how to tell what it is?" James asked dryly.

"Well, I don't know. I haven't read anything about telling if something is a Horcrux or not," Remus frowned. "Just that the fragment of soul within one can think for itself and can influence people in its vicinity. Seeing as they're parts of Voldemort's soul I imagine that would be unpleasant." Remus paused and watched as James lifted the diadem and placed it on his head. "Is that the best idea?" He asked, wondering if James had listened to anything he'd just said.

"Why wouldn't it be?" James replied. "Just testing if it works; wit beyond measure, right?"

"Probably only works if there is intelligence there to increase in the first place," Sirius said with a grin; but James, who normally took everything in his stride, snapped at him.

"I'm much smarter than you'll ever be, Black."

"Er, woah, Pads," Remus interrupted before Sirius could reply and escalate the situation further. "Maybe you should take that off, James."

"Why, you want it for yourself do you, Werewolf?" James spat at him. "Halfblood and a Werewolf, it's a wonder you have any friends."

"Yes, well, you are one of those friends," Remus said, relatively calmly considering he'd had to catch hold of Sirius's arm to prevent him from drawing his wand. "And the diadem increases intelligence, not spite; so I'd say it  _is_  a Horcrux and you should take it off." James looked momentarily confused, but when Remus said, "preferably soon," he reached up and pulled the thing off his own head. Remus let go of Sirius's arm, which was apparently a mistake because before James could say anything Sirius's wand was in his face.

"Apologise to Remus!"

"Sorry, Moony. I didn't mean it," James apologised quickly, as one generally does when being threatened.

"It's fine, Sirius. I've heard much worse." Remus took the diadem from James. "I think it's best if we put this somewhere safe where it's not too near us. I don't think we have to be wearing it for Voldemort to influence us, it's just a lot stronger when we are."

"You mean Voldemort made me say that?"

Remus shrugged, "I don't believe he can actually put words in your mouth, though I may be wrong. Just feelings and so on."

"But I was only wearing it for a second," James said.

"I think… I think it's because the diadem was designed to manipulate your mind to begin with. To increase your intelligence, sure; but there are rumours that it can send you mad if you wear it too long. I – this is a guess, mind you – but I think that might make it easier for the fragment of soul to manipulate the wearer." Remus shrugged again.

"I  _am_  sorry, Remus," James repeated, but Remus didn't look at him, turning away to take the diadem up to the dormitory and figure out how he was going to contain it.

**o 0 o**

It was a long day, each minute stretching further than the last, and it was wearing on everybody's nerves. They were all bored, they were all sick of sitting around doing nothing. The last full moon had been near the end of May, and they had just finished their exams the week before, so there wasn't even any schoolwork to distract them.

"This sucks." James complained.

"If only we could figure out where we should be looking. Did you find somewhere to put the diadem?" Sirius asked Remus, who glanced up from his book looking confused.

"Huh? What?"

"Did you figure out what to do with the diadem?" Sirius repeated, rolling his eyes.

"Oh. Yeah, I put it in a bag." Remus returned to reading his book.

"Er…" Sirius glanced at James just to check whether he thought that was as odd as Sirius did. James looked just as confused.

"What kind of bag, exactly?" James asked eventually. Remus sighed.

"I found a bag and I put some charms on it so that the effects of the diadem are restrained to inside the bag. As long as we don't open it all of the time it shouldn't influence us at all. Okay?" He stared at them, waiting this time for a response so he knew he'd be able to return to his book in peace.

"Yeah, sure. That sounds much better than just putting it in a bag," Sirius said, rolling his eyes again.

"Whatever," Remus sighed again. He was just as irritated as the rest of them at the inactivity, and he'd read the same paragraph in his book about seven times now.

"Why bother with that, anyway? Why don't we just destroy it now and get it over with?"

Remus gave up. That was a question he'd been hoping to avoid, but now all three of the other Marauders were looking at him and there was no way out of answering. "Well, uh. I don't think we can… destroy it."

"What do you mean?" Sirius looked suspicious. Remus made sure not to look at him for too long. Sirius would be the hardest to convince that he didn't know any ways to destroy the Horcrux, because he always seemed to be best at picking whenever Remus was lying.

"They can only be destroyed by something that can't be fixed by magic," he said eventually. "I don't know anything that will work." He knew two things that would possibly work, but neither of which he was going to say out loud because unlike  _some_ people he didn't have a death wish.

James looked thoughtful and Sirius still looked suspicious. Peter looked thoughtful too, but Remus wasn't sure how much thinking he was doing, or if he was just looking thoughtful because James was.

"Well, you've got it contained now," James said after a few moments. "So it won't go tainting us or whatever it is it does, which gives us time to figure out how to destroy it. In the meantime, we may as well figure out where the others might be. I know you've been reading about them, Remus. Tell us."

"There isn't anything to tell. They were both last owned by Hepzibah Smith. She bought the locket from Borgin and Burkes and both the locket and the cup were missing when she died." Remus had actually found this out from a combination of talking to Hufflepuffs and reading old newspapers. With the war going on around them, nearly everything was about Voldemort when you opened the paper.

"Maybe we should go to her house," Sirius suggested. "There might be some clues there."

"What, you're some kind of detective now, are you?" James teased him.

"Sod off." Sirius elbowed James in the ribs.

"Well, sure, Sirius. But I have no idea where she lived," Remus pointed out.

"Er, right... there is that." Sirius sighed. "We could go to Borgin and Burkes, talk to the owner, see if we can find out where Hepzibah lived?"

"As if they'll tell us anything."

"Well we can't just sit around here doing absolutely nothing with one of Voldemort's Horcruxes in a bloody charmed bag!" Sirius exclaimed, sick of the inaction and annoyed that all of his suggestions were being dismissed.

"Keep your voice down," Remus hissed. They were sitting outside under their tree and there was no one near enough to hear them, really, but Sirius looked abashed anyway.

"Sorry."

"We'll leave this weekend," James said suddenly, though it was obvious he'd been considering the words for a while.

"What?" Remus protested, even though he knew it was useless.

"We'll miss the end of term feast," Peter added, worry etched over his entire face.

"You're really worried about food in a time like this?" Sirius asked incredulously. "There is a  _war_  going on, Pete, in case you haven't noticed. I hardly think the end of term  _feast_  is that important."

"We're just going to leave? Just like that?" Remus felt sick. If they left Hogwarts, he'd be fending for himself at full moon. If they left Hogwarts, this was real.

"Meet at Honeydukes at two on Saturday," James said as if he hadn't even heard the other three talking. "In the cellar. We'll be able to Apparate from there." And it was all decided, just like that. Remus returned to his book, but he still couldn't get past that stupid paragraph and he was glaring at the words.


	4. Chapter 4

James hadn't given them very long to prepare for their quest (as Sirius had taken to calling it) and there was a lot of rushing around failing to be discreet as they attempted to collect everything they might need. Tempers were frayed and there were more than a few flare ups in the middle of the common room over the complete lack of time they had, but somehow they managed to get most of what they needed ready by Saturday.

James and Sirius made countless trips down to the kitchens to get food from the House Elves while Remus put an undetectable extension charm on a backpack so they could store their supplies in it. Charms were placed on the food to prevent it from spoiling, James's tent was added to the bag, and Remus gave Peter a list of potions they might need and sent him off to find whatever he could. There wasn't enough time for them to brew any of their own, something which was the subject of more than a few arguments.

Clothes were stored in the backpack too, and Remus put a whole armful of books into it as well. It took him a while to decide what might be useful on their journey and in the end he probably brought some he wouldn't really need and left ones he would. Peter returned with less than half of the potions and salves Remus had sent him to find, but it was the best they could do, and come Saturday they were all standing in the cellar at Honeydukes.

No one spoke. There was little light in the cellar and they were cramped amongst the boxes of sweets in a way that was both familiar and all of a sudden foreign. James, easily the best at Apparating out of the four of them, held out his arm. If any of them hesitated it was lost in the hesitation of the others so their hands came together almost simultaneously. James concentrated, and the cellar was empty.

**o 0 o**

They arrived in Diagon Alley in a small space between two buildings. Remus swayed on his feet, the colour all but fled from his face.

"You alright, Moony?" Sirius asked, steadying his friend.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine," Remus replied, some form of pride and stupidity preventing him from requesting a moment to recover his centre and quell the nausea. They had only just finished their 12 week Apparition course a few weeks ago, and this was possibly the third or fourth time Remus had managed to do it without throwing up. They all knew this, but no one said anything.

"Come on, let's go," James said. They followed him out into the main street that was Diagon Alley.

Although the plan had been to head straight to Knockturn Alley there were many distractions along the way. Being as they were, able to resist everything but temptation, they stopped a lot. Remus dragged them into a small potions store and by some stroke of luck managed to find a few of the salves and potions that Peter hadn't been able to locate in Hogsmeade. They did not complete the list he had, but they rounded it out a little more and made them all feel a little better about their prospects. Peter insisted they stop at Sugarplum's Sweets Shop, but they would have even if he hadn't. There was already a large supply of Honeydukes chocolate bars in the bag, an absolute necessity as far as Remus was concerned, but that didn't stop him from adding chocolate frogs to the liquorice wands, sugar quills, cauldron cakes and pumpkin pasties the other three boys had piled on the counter. Once they'd been paid for, the sweets joined everything else inside the backpack. They barely made it past the next store before Sirius disappeared inside Gambol and Japes Wizarding Joke Shop, and came back out with enough fireworks to put on his own exhibit. James stood in front of the Quality Quidditch Supplies window while Sirius was inside the Joke Shop, muttering about the new broom that they'd had on display. It was almost an hour later when they finally reached the entrance to Knockturn Alley.

The sign pointing down the narrow alleyway was crooked and faded with age. The cobblestones were uneven and there were gaps where bricks were missing from the walls. Compared to Diagon Alley the place was all but deserted, and the sudden silence that met them as they stood on the border between the two alleyways was consuming.

"Never been down there before," Remus said.

"I have," Sirius replied. "It's not that bad."

"Adults worry too much," James sniffed. He'd been down there before of course, with Sirius, and nothing had happened to them. It wasn't an evil place, not in the real sense of the word. Just clouded with the shadows it sat under, tainted with something not quite good.

"Well. Right," Remus shrugged and trailed off.

Sirius flashed him a grin. "Want me to hold your hand, Moony?" He asked with a laugh, and Remus flushed red.

"I'm not scared," he said stubbornly and to prove it, he led them into the alley. Sirius followed and bumped shoulders with him once he'd caught up, still laughing. Somehow the laughter seemed to lift the mood momentarily, like a breath of air taken by a drowning man before the current pulled him under for a third and final time. Peter had to jog to catch up with the others.

**o 0 o**

Borgin and Burkes wasn't all that hard to find. James lead them in, pushing the door open with none of his previous confidence. Shelves full of all sorts of unpleasant things greeted them as they stepped inside; blinking as their eyes adjusted to the dim light filtering through the dusty windows. Peter coughed.

Maybe it was the dust, but all of them found it hard to breathe. The very air seemed heavy, pressing down around them as if the store itself wanted them out. None of the boys jumped when the door slammed shut behind them, but they all wanted to.

"Can I help you, boys?" The voice wasn't friendly. The man behind the counter looked cold. Remus shivered.

"We're just looking," James responded, voice steadier than he'd expected it to be. None of them really wanted to go any further into the store, but they did anyway. It turned out to be pointless, in the end. With the shopkeeper following them and watching like a hawk it was impossible to search for anything that might be a Horcrux.

"No use, really," Sirius said.

"Let's go," James agreed.

Peter was the only one to sigh with relief when they stepped out into the cobblestone alleyway, but they all agreed with the sentiment.

"Black!"

Strong fingers closed around Sirius's upper arm and dragged him from his friends. Cold stone bit into his back through his shirt and the air left his lungs with hardly a sound when the man holding him drove him up against the wall. A tall, blonde man he was, and even though a wave of panic and then outrage swept through him Sirius spoke calmly.

"Malfoy."

"What are you doing here?" Malfoy's fingers were still digging into Sirius's arm, hard enough to leave bruises in their wake.

"This is Malfoy, my cousin's husband," he told the others, determinedly still under Malfoy's grasp. "And it's none of your business, what I do."

"You're supposed to be in school," Malfoy hissed and Sirius couldn't help but laugh.

"When have I ever done what I was supposed to?" he asked gaily, jerking his arm free with some difficulty. He had no illusions that if Malfoy had really wished to keep him pinned he would have. Visits to his cousin's had been interesting to say the least since she had married Lucius Malfoy.

"If I wasn't already late I'd put you in your place," the threat was empty and they could all see it, but no one pushed him.

"Nice running into you, give my love to Cissy," Sirius turned away, forcing himself to move slowly as if he didn't half expect Malfoy to strike him from behind. He heard Malfoy take a step after him, but before he could say or do anything they were interrupted by Malfoy's companion.

"Sir, the appointment is at three and it is already ten to." The smaller man had gone all but unnoticed until he spoke, and now he was the centre of everyone's attention. "Bellatrix will-"

"I know very well what she'll do if we miss the appointment again," Malfoy snapped, turning away from the boys and rounding on his companion. While he was distracted the Marauders slipped away.

**o 0 o**

Seated around a small table at Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour with empty ice cream bowls in front of them and full stomachs, they discussed their options. Borgin and Burkes had been a waste of time, and the only other thing they could think of was the orphanage where Riddle had grown up. None of the boys knew where his parents had come from, but James suggested that the orphanage might. Not long later they found themselves on a street in muggle London looking for the orphanage the Daily Prophet had mentioned as Voldemort's childhood home.

Remus had been enlisted to do the talking, because he was the only one with a muggle parent and therefore should know what to say to a muggle woman. Four boys appearing on the doorstep of an orphanage without an explanation and looking for information on an orphan from forty years ago would just be too weird, so Remus went in alone while the others waited around the corner.

The inside of the orphanage wasn't all that impressive, but the outside hadn't been either so it wasn't a let down. The walls were plain and the floors were clean; the place was old but someone was still trying to care. Remus could hear the voices of children, though he couldn't see where they were coming from. It smelled odd, a mixture of muggle cleaning products and dust, and he moved quickly through the entrance way.

"Can I help you?" Remus hadn't seen the woman until she spoke. She stood in a doorway that, judging from the voices drifting through from behind her, lead to the children. Her hair was grey, her face lined.

"I'm just looking for some information on someone who used to live here," Remus said. There were probably protocols and such that prevented her from telling him anything, but he forged on all the same. "He was a good friend of my fathers, you see. Dad- dad's sick, and he wants to see him again before…" Remus trailed off. "I just wondered if you could help." The lies sprung easy to his tongue, aided by a life of deception and making him sick.

"I don't know if I can," the woman stepped into the room, closing the door behind her and shutting off the sound of childish laughter. "We've had many children go through here over the years, and we rarely keep track of where they go once they've left us."

"No, I thought maybe I might be able to find where he came from. In case he went back." Remus could smell alcohol on the woman's breath now that she was closer and he realised he didn't even know her name.

"What was the child's name?" She asked eventually, and maybe it was the alcohol that freed her tongue, or maybe she just didn't care enough to hold anything back anymore. "The orphanage is being torn down in a month," she told him as she walked him to the door. "These children have nowhere to go."

Remus stepped out into the sunlight, armed with the knowledge of where Voldemort had been born and weighed down by the depression that seemed to linger in the walls of the orphanage behind him. Maybe it had been a brighter place years ago, but Remus couldn't imagine growing up there. Was it wrong to feel pity for someone like Voldemort, to feel sympathy for a murderer? But it wasn't Lord Voldemort his heart ached for; it was an orphaned child with nowhere else to go but here.

"Did you find anything?" Sirius accosted him as soon as he was out the gate, James and Peter beside him.

"Little Hangleton," Remus told them. "That's where he was born."

"Then that's where we will go," James said.

**o 0 o**

Apparition was inconvenient in its drawbacks. They couldn't Apparate somewhere they'd never been, because they couldn't hold the destination properly – all of the determination and deliberation in the world meant nothing if they had no solid destination – and none of them were willing to Splinch themselves trying. Remus was secretly grateful, though having to walk would add days to their journey. And as if that wasn't bad enough, the full moon fell in the middle of it.

They'd been walking for a few days, trying to stay away from muggle cities and towns as much as they could, when Remus started to get sick. He'd been looking paler and paler as each hour passed and they'd had to stop a few times for him to throw up before they realised that it was getting ridiculous.

"We have to stop," James said.

Remus was on his knees, eyes closed and breathing through his nose in a vain attempt to keep from being sick again. Sirius was standing beside him with a hand on his shoulder. Offering some show of support, unable to do anything else. Peter was sitting a few metres away and trying not to look in case it made him sick too. It was barely midday, but Remus could already feel the wolf straining inside of him at the pull of the moon.

"I'm fine," he said a few moments later, breathing carefully and not opening his eyes. Sirius snorted and would have whacked him in the side of the head but didn't for fear he'd be sick again if he did.

"Righto," James said sarcastically. "Never been better, I bet. Wormtail, you set up the tent." Peter jumped to attention, retrieving the backpack from where James had dropped it. James left Sirius with Remus and set off to place the wards around their impromptu campsite. Remus would normally do that, but right now he'd likely forget the spells.

"How come you're so sick?" Sirius asked once the other two were busy. Remus was drinking from the flask of water he'd been handed when he'd first finished throwing up and didn't reply for a while.

"Always get sick," he said eventually.

"Not like this, not that I've seen."

"Not normally trekking through the woods, am I?"

The sound of Peter struggling with the tent was all that reached them for a few moments. Eventually Sirius snapped, "It's a swish not a flick, you bloody idiot!" and left Remus to show Peter how he was supposed to be moving his wand.

**o 0 o**

It was getting close to moon rise and Remus was arguing with James and Sirius.

"We're too close to muggle towns. You have to do it," he insisted. Still pale, though he wasn't constantly fighting back the nausea now that they'd stopped moving. Peter was inside the tent eating Pumpkin Pasties and listening to the Wizarding Wireless Network, letting them argue without him. Whatever they decided to do he wasn't going to be much help as a human or a rat so there was no point in allowing himself to be dragged into the fight.

"We can control you fine," Sirius said, and if it sounded like he was repeating himself it was probably because he was. "How many times have we roamed the grounds at Hogwarts without any trouble? Hundreds! It won't be any different here."

"There aren't any people in the grounds of Hogwarts at night!" Remus's cheeks were flushed with anger, or maybe it was fear. "We can't risk it, I can't risk it."

"As if we would let you hurt anyone," James said.

"As if you could stop me!"

"We are  _not_ chaining you to a tree, Remus."

"You have to."

"No." Sirius's voice had risen so he was almost shouting. "No, I am not going to sit here all night and watch you tear yourself to pieces because you're worried about some muggles that may or may not be close enough for you to hurt."

"We're both bigger than you," James added. He wasn't as worked up as Sirius was, but he wasn't far off it. "We can keep you away from any people."

"You wouldn't even know they were there until it was too late," Remus spat. "Padfoot might be a dog but your sense of smell is shit compared to mine."

"We've stopped you before," James pointed out. "When we went to the village, and that time the old man was putting out his rubbish at midnight-" Remus was even paler than he had been and James quickly amended what he was saying. "I only mean you've never hurt anyone before and we won't let you start now."

At Hogwarts it had been just a game, they'd never stopped and really thought about what they were risking. Remus had, he had listened to their recounts of the night before while lying in the hospital bed, laughed with them when they told him about how Sirius had had to wrestle him to the ground to prevent him from mauling the muggle in her nightgown or the drunken wizard who couldn't walk straight or – he'd laughed with them at their stories and he'd felt sick later when he realised what it meant, how close he had come to killing someone or worse. But then a few weeks later when they were planning their next adventure he'd be planning with them, no matter how many times he'd told himself  _never again._

"I can't risk it. I can't risk turning someone else into – I can't risk killing someone or hurting you."

"You have to trust us," Sirius said quietly.

Remus looked at him for a few moments longer and then turned away. "Fine."

Giving in was easier than it should be, but Remus hated to fight with James and Sirius, especially over this. A large part of him knew he was weak, knew he should stand up and do what he knew was right rather than do what would make the others happy, but even after seven years of friendship he was still too scared to lose them. Gryffindor indeed, he had enough courage to fill a thimble and morals he would never defend. The chain was left in the bag, inside the tent, and was forgotten and Remus agreed to run free with only the dog and the stag to stop him from killing, though he knew the guilt would threaten to drown him tomorrow regardless of how it played out.

There was no time to dwell now, though. The moon was about to rise, he could feel it in his skin like a sickness spreading through his blood. Ignoring James and Sirius's attempts at light-hearted conversation, he kicked off his shoes and pulled his shirt over his head. Modesty wasn't worth tearing his clothes to bits, even though his cheeks were stained red as he shed his jeans and was left only in his boxers. The air was cool but his skin was burning to touch.

James charmed up a small fire near their tent and sat beside it, staring into the flickering flames while Sirius paced before it. Both of them tried to ignore Remus who was pacing too, on the other side of the small clearing. The pain was rising through him as the wolf fought to rise to the surface. Every breath was more difficult than the last.

None of the others had ever been with Remus while he transformed before, coming down to meet him once he had already changed, so when he stopped walking and stood still they didn't really know what to expect. Neither of them could tear their eyes away.

Remus's head was tipped back, exposing a long scar shining white over the vulnerable skin, stretching from just below his jaw to well down his chest. The tendons in his neck were standing out starkly and fine tremors wracked his body. From where they were watching they could no longer see his face, but it was a small mercy because they could hear every ounce of pain he was feeling in the animalistic screams that were ripped from him as his bones began to break and shift. Hands lengthened, bones snapping and reforming, fur growing, fingernails lengthening and hardening into claws. His face lengthened too, stretching into the snout of a wolf, and the screams of pain melded into the howls of an animal.

"Prongs," Sirius said, and James glanced over to see that Sirius had shifted and did the same. In front of them, Remus fell to the ground as his knees reversed with a sickening crunch and a moment later he was all wolf. It had all taken barely thirty seconds, but James and Sirius could still hear Remus's screams echoing through their minds. Everything was still as Peter emerged from the tent, nose twitching and claws scrabbling across the loose leaves and dirt, to join the others. They would run free tonight and forget all about Voldemort and the war and everything except for the now.

Remus tipped back his head and howled.


	5. Chapter 5

It was days before they could continue.

Without the assistance of Madam Pomfrey and the relative comfort of the beds in the Hospital wing at Hogwarts, Remus's recovery was slow and painful. Sirius applied the salves Remus directed him towards and gave him the potions he asked for, but their rush had meant they'd left without everything he needed so it wasn't nearly enough. They would scar, which didn't bother him as much as it once had. His body was a puzzle, raised skin showing where blood had been. Once he'd thought he'd remember which night he got each scar, when, where he was, but now he knew it didn't matter.

The campsite location wasn't bad, for having been picked by chance. They didn't need to worry about things like food and water – a simple Aguamenti charm would give them as much water as they could drink and the supply of food the House Elves had given them would easily last a month – so all that really mattered in a campsite was fairly flat ground and a bit of a clearing. But Remus was grumpy, sore, and tired; frustrated that he was holding them in one place. The other boys tried to cheer him up for a while and then gave up and avoided him, playing cards around the campfire at night while Remus slept.

Eventually, three days after full moon, they packed up their camp and began to walk again.

It set them back, everyone knew it. Every month they were going to be wasting anywhere from a few days to a week, stuck in one spot and unable to do anything except for wait. But no one said anything out loud, and Remus was probably imagining the glances in his direction as they continued through the woods.

"How you holding up, Moony?" Sirius asked, dropping back to walk beside his friend. Maybe Remus wasn't imaging the glances, just misconstruing their meaning. Sirius actually sounded concerned.

"Fine," Remus replied. "Never better." But he really was going okay; the aches and pains were just dull reminders of what they'd been three days earlier. Dull reminders of what he'd been.

"We should get there in two more days if we can keep this up," James said from ahead of them. Remus hadn't realised he'd been listening, but then again, maybe he hadn't. It wasn't really part of their conversation, though it had fit perfectly into the silence.

"Thank Merlin," Peter gasped. If anything, he was faring worse than Remus now that they'd started moving again. Peter was the least fit of the four of them and it was starting to show in the beads of sweat running down his brow and stinging in his eyes.

"Maybe we should rest for a bit," Remus suggested, not looking away from Peter. Sirius followed his gaze and nodded.

"Yeah. Prongs, wait up."

James stopped and turned back to look at the others, noticing Peter's pallor immediately. "Oh, sorry, Wormtail."

Peter would have replied, but he was too busy gulping water from the flask that Remus handed him. Sirius leant against a nearby tree and brushed his own sweaty hair from his face.

"What are we going to do when we get there, anyway?" He asked James when the silence drew out for too long.

"Shouldn't be too hard to find which house was his mothers, right?" James said with a shrug. "We'll just break in and see if we can't find anything useful."

"Somehow I don't think it'll be quite that easy," Remus sighed. "His mother was a witch, even if his father was a muggle. And if he's hidden anything there he'll have all sorts of wards and shit up, you know he will. We were lucky finding the diadem. I don't think the rest of them are going to be so easy to collect."

"And even if we find them all we still have no idea how to destroy them," Sirius said with a pointed look at Remus.

"No, we don't," Remus said testily. "But we can figure that bit out after we find them, maybe."

"You mean, you might decide to share what it is that you know?"

"I think we should keep walking," James interrupted before Remus could reply. They'd been arguing a lot, Sirius convinced Remus knew more than he was telling them and Remus refusing to tell him what he knew because he didn't want him to do anything stupid. Remus clenched his jaw but turned away from Sirius and allowed James to end the argument for now.

"You right, Pete?" James asked.

"Great, wonderful, could run a marathon," Peter replied sarcastically, but the fact he had his sense of humour back was enough for them and they started to walk again. It didn't help that there were so many hills and no real path. All of them were suffering; Peter was just suffering the loudest.

**o 0 o**

They reached little Hangleton just on nightfall a few days later. It was only a small village and almost all of the houses looked rundown or abandoned, but the relief that came with reaching your destination after a five day hike through the woods had them all in high spirits.

"We may as well wait until tomorrow to look for his parent's house – what did you say it was called again, Moony?"

"Uh, the Gaunt Shack, I think. His mum was Merope Gaunt, it was her home."

"Right, well, tomorrow we'll go find the Gaunt Shack. For now I say we set up camp just outside of the village and have dinner." James looked to the others to see what they thought of the idea and found them all nodding. It had been another long day of near constant walking and they were all beyond tired. Resting before they tried to tackle whatever was waiting for them at Voldemort's mother's home was a brilliant idea, even if all that was waiting for them was disappointment.

They couldn't really find a clearing. Here the trees grew too close together and the weeds tangled around their bases as if trying to tear them down. They managed to uncover an area large enough for the tent and a small fire on the outskirts of the village. Encased amongst a canopy of trees that seemed to reach for each other rather than the sky, they made camp.

"Nice to finally get here," Peter mused half an hour later, through a mouthful of re-heated roast beef and gravy.

"What do you think we'll find tomorrow?" Sirius asked, always too excited for what would come next to dwell on the now.

"Who knows," James said. "Maybe a dead body or two – it is Voldemort we're talking about here." The flickering light of the fire James had conjured had an uncanny way of sending shadows dancing through the foliage around them. It almost felt as if the weeds were creeping closer, swallowing the camp as they ate.

"Well, they do say that the village is full of murderers," Sirius said with a sly grin.

"They do?" Peter gulped, eyes wide.

"The whole place looks haunted if you ask me. Can't you hear the ghosts rattling their chains?"

"And the howling of the wolves?" James added, and they all looked at Remus who rolled his eyes.

"Aroo," he deadpanned.

James and Sirius broke up into laughter, and even Peter managed a short chuckle, but it sounded more like relief than humour.

**o 0 o**

The next morning seemed to come far too early, the sun heating the tent almost as soon as it rose. Breakfast was quick, partly because they were eager to get going and partly because they were all too nervous to eat much. The plan was to return to the campsite again that night, but they packed it down anyway. It was always a good idea to have everything close at hand in case they needed it, after all.

The village didn't look much better in daylight. Many of the homes were clearly empty and looked like they had been for years. They'd all heard talk of ghost towns before, but this place looked like it had been made to be empty. The woman at the Orphanage had told Remus Merope's home had been in the woods on the outskirts of the village, so they made their way through the streets and out the other side, following the main road even as it dwindled into little more than a dirt track.

"What if there is someone living there?" Peter asked as they walked.

"There hasn't been anyone living there since Morfin Gaunt was arrested for killing a house full of muggles."

"You should have told  _that_  story last night," Sirius said, glancing over at Remus. "He killed a muggle?"

"A house full of them?" Peter added, eyes wide.

"He was sent to Azkaban for it," Remus told them. "Killed a man and his parents with the Killing curse. But, seeing as the muggles he killed were the Riddle family…" He trailed off.

"You think he probably didn't really do it?" James asked.

"Of course he didn't! Bit too much of a coincidence, Voldemort's hated father turning up dead," Sirius interjected before Remus could reply.

"Well, Morfin confessed to it," Remus said, not disagreeing with Sirius. "But he was crazy from the start. Nailing snakes to the door of the Shack, all sorts of creepy things. And we know from the memory you found in Dumbledore's office that it's possible to alter memories if you have the skill. I'll bet Voldemort knows how, and I'll bet he does it regularly."

"And Morfin goes to Azkaban. So Voldemort gets rid of his father and his uncle in one fell swoop."

"Not to mention, if Voldemort killed his father there probably is a Horcrux here, after all." Maybe they shouldn't all be so surprised that it was Peter who picked up on this, but they were.

"You're right, Wormtail."

"No need to sound so surprised."

"Well, it's not often that you spout such intelligence," Sirius said unkindly. Remus elbowed him and he apologised. "Sorry, Pete."

"Anyway, Morfin might have killed the Riddles. He hated them, that was a known fact."

"Regardless of who killed who," James said, "the point is the house is empty and we're there."

It was true. They'd reached the small Shack, nestled into the woods and looking like it should have fallen apart years ago. The wall surrounding the garden was past crumbling and well into crumbled, only a few stones remaining to signify where it had once been. The weeds had taken over and they had to fight their way through them to get into the yard. Whatever path might have existed leading to the door was all but gone.

"It's quite possible it's protected, if this is where he hid it," James pointed out.

"So we'll be careful," Sirius replied. No one said anything about Sirius not knowing what the word careful meant, but the looks he received were more than enough. He ignored them and started forward, reaching for the door.

Birds. Suddenly, birds were everywhere. Pecking, scratching, screeching. Feathers flying as they beat their wings. Sirius was down on the ground, face down. Small mercies, as the birds were tearing at his hair. His shirt was in tatters already, blood everywhere and he wasn't moving to defend himself at all.

James was trying to protect his face and get to his wand at the same time. A futile effort – if he dropped an arm for even a moment they'd fly for his eyes. Peter was screaming, beating at the birds with his fists and moving rapidly backwards until he fell over the stones which were all that was left of the old wall. Somehow he managed to form a ball, covering his face and stomach and leaving his arms, legs and back to be torn to shreds.

Remus was the only one who'd had the sense to have his wand out before Sirius had touched the door, but his arms were crossed over his face and it took him a moment before he could give his wand the flick he needed to, yelling out the only spell he could think of to get rid of the birds and almost collapsing in relief when they vanished.

"Bloody hell," James breathed out shakily.

Sirius still hadn't moved, and James went quickly to his side, crouching beside him and rolling him over as Remus joined him. Sirius blinked up at them.

"Looks like a body bind," James said, pausing to wipe a trickle of blood that was running down his own forehead and then pulling his wand out of his jeans and tapping Sirius on the forehead to release the curse. Sirius sat up immediately, swearing.

"What the hell was that?" Peter had uncurled himself at some stage and made his way back to join the others. He looked an absolute mess, shirt completely ruined and jeans not much better off. Obviously the birds had had a harder time getting through the denim.

"One of Voldemort's protections, no doubt."

"Pretty damn effective, if you ask me." Sirius said, wincing as he stood up and the remains of his shirt clung to the wounds on his back. There was blood everywhere.

"Do you think that's it?" James asked, looking over at the door of the Shack. It hadn't changed at all, but somehow it seemed almost sinister now.

"No," Remus replied.

"No, you're probably right." James sighed.

"At least it means there's probably something hidden here?" Peter volunteered, but he didn't sound too enthusiastic.

"True," James agreed. "Well, we may as well keep going, then."

"We'll put some salves on these cuts, first." Remus suggested, and everyone agreed to that.

James and Remus both used a less potent salve on their injuries, as they weren't as serious as Peter and Sirius's. Peter had some bad cuts on his back and arms which Remus put dittany on, and then he made Sirius stand in front of him while he applied dittany to his back and legs.

"If you'd landed on your back they'd have had your eyes," he told him as he watched Sirius's skin knitting together under the dittany. Sirius went understandably pale.

**o 0 o**

It took them all afternoon to figure out how to deactivate the Avis charm on the door. In fact, it had taken almost an hour to figure out that it was an Avis charm, none of them had ever seen it used in such a way before. Normally a simple spell used to test new wands, it conjured harmless birds. Here it had been coupled with what Remus eventually figured out to be Oppugno charm, a charm designed to make conjured animals attack, and then somehow bound to the door. The result was a flock of birds that would attack anyone who so much as tried to enter the Shack, as the boys had discovered. The added body bind charm would leave a man vulnerable until the birds had killed him.

"I say we wait until tomorrow to try open it," James suggested, once they'd finally gotten to the point where they could touch the door without homicidal birds descending upon them. The others agreed too readily and they had returned to camp for the night.

The next day found them back at the Shack, all with their wands out this time, as Sirius prepared himself to attempt to open the door.

It was a little anti- climactic. There were no explosions, no balls of fire or flashes of light. Sirius didn't appear to have been electrocuted or anything of the sort.

"Is that it, then?" James said after a few moments of silence.

"What?" Sirius asked slowly.

"No more protections?" James was surprised. "Why don't you go in?" Sirius was still holding the handle of the door, not moving.

"Go in?" Sirius turned around and looked at James. "Why would I want to go in there? It'd probably fall down around me."

"Er."

"You alright, Padfoot?"

"Padfoot?"

"Oh cut it out, you git. It's not funny." James crossed his arms and glared at Sirius, but there was a note of worry in his furrowed brows. Sirius just stared at him, looking confused as all hell.

"I think something is wrong," Remus had always been good at stating the bleeding obvious.

"But nothing happened," Peter said slowly.

"I think we can safely say something did happen," James replied. "Look at Sirius, will you?"

Sirius was staring at the door with a look of wonder on his face. "What is this place?" He asked, a slight lilt to his voice. "It's so old…"

Peter turned back to James. "Right."

"He's acting like he's been confounded," James sighed and Remus's head jerked up.

"Maybe he has?"

"Why are we here, again?" Sirius asked, spinning around and staring at them. "This place is strange."

"Er, shut up." Remus said and Sirius surprisingly did.

"But how would-" James broke off and changed tack. "How do we fix him?"

Remus had his thinking face on now, forehead crinkled and bottom lip gone between his teeth. "It shouldn't be too hard. He's not completely confounded – just seems to have been made confused about why we're here. What's the opposite of confused?" He was thinking out loud, more than anything, but James answered anyway.

"Clear-headed?"

"Hm, yes. That might work." Remus put his wand to Sirius's forehead and Sirius went cross eyed trying to look at it. "Claro."

"Sirius, are you alright?" James asked as Sirius stepped back away from Remus's wand.

"Yeah. What the hell just happened?" Sirius sat down hard on the step by the door.

"Looks like this is going to take a little more work than we thought," James sighed and he and Peter joined Sirius on the step.

"Well, you've got to hand it to him," Peter said. "Those birds might not have been subtle, but making someone forget why they even came here to start with is a pretty good way to keep people away."

"Assuming that they come on their own though," Remus mused. "All of his defences are directed as if someone would come on their own."

"Come on, Moony. This is Voldemort we're talking about – he wouldn't even know what the word friend means, let alone team work."

"Do you think we're through now?" Peter asked.

"Maybe. Once we figure out how to get rid of the Confundo curse," James replied, studying the door.

"Try using Claro on it," Remus suggested, and James did.

"Go on Pads, try open it again," James coaxed and Sirius glared at him but did as he was told.

"Nothing," he grinned.

"Ask him who the first victim of Dragon Pox was," James elbowed Remus.

"What would that prove?" Remus replied, catching onto the joke. "Sirius couldn't answer it anyway."

The death glare Sirius gave them was enough to assure them all that the door was no longer cursed. "It was Chauncey Oldridge," he sniffed. "I do read my chocolate frog cards, thank you very much."

"The only one of those I can ever remember is Dumbledore," Peter sighed.

"We've done it though," Remus said. "The door isn't cursed anymore."

"Now just to open it," Sirius said cheerfully. He turned the handle and pulled the door towards them.


	6. Chapter 6

It took their eyes a while to adjust to the gloom inside the shack. The windows were so dirty they barely let in a hint of light, but after the fiasco with the door no one was willing to try to open one. The air felt heavy, hot and stuffy and stale, as if this was the first time the door had been opened in decades. Come to think of it, it probably was.

"It doesn't look like anyone's been here for centuries" Sirius marvelled, taking a step forward. The floorboards creaked under his weight and Remus caught his sleeve to stop him from continuing.

"Careful, you'll break your neck," Remus felt like he should be whispering in the atmosphere of the shack, but he didn't. Just because the place looked and felt like it could fall down around their ears at a sudden loud noise didn't mean it would. At least, he hoped it wouldn't.

"Lumos," James whispered and the room was filled with light. The first thing they noticed once they could see was the dust. There was dust everywhere. Lots and lots of dust, layers so thick they'd be better described as dirt, inches covering every available surface and hanging in the air making it hard to breathe. And the floor. Half of the boards were missing or rotted through. If Sirius had taken another step he probably would have broken at least his ankle on the missing boards in front of him.

"Where do we look?" Peter asked after a few moments of silence while everyone surveyed the room.

"If you were hiding something small in an abandoned house, where would you hide it?" Remus wondered out loud.

"Under the bed."

"Under the floorboards."

"Under the floorboards."

They all answered at once, but everyone looked at Peter.

"Under the bed?" James asked incredulously.

"What?" Peter looked taken aback. "Why not?"

"Peter, that is only the worst possible hiding place for uh… anything."

"Well under the floorboards isn't much better! Most of them are gone!"

It was true. The light from James's wand showed boards missing, rotted through, and others that looked close to falling apart too.

"They probably weren't gone when Voldemort was here though. There was still someone living here then, remember."

"Fine, we'll search under the damn floor boards then," Peter grumbled, pushing past James and into the shack.

"Would he really hide it somewhere so… obvious?" Remus asked a few minutes later. They had been searching under the boards that had rotted away first, because the idea of tearing up the floor boards that were still firmly nailed down was a little bit daunting, to say the least. None of them were really the weightlifting, athletic type - or the remodelling type, for that matter – so they didn't want to start pulling up perfectly good floorboards for no reason.

"Why not? He probably wouldn't expect anyone to get past the curses he had set to guard the door."

"Do you reckon we might trigger something else, when we find it?" Remus's question was met with a few moments of silence.

"Everyone be careful." James said eventually, pulling his wand from his belt and holding it firmly in his hand. The other three did the same thing. For some reason that piece of wood gave them all a little more confidence, even Remus who could easily cast spells without it.

And so the search continued, with each of the boys on their hands and knees, wand gripped firmly in their right hand while the left tore at rotting boards. There were muffled curses escaping regularly when the wood bit into their hands, and soon they were all filthy, covered in a layer of dust and grime almost as thick as that which had previously covered the floor.

It was Peter who found it in the end. A small, non-descript box hidden under a section of floorboards in the far corner that looked as new as the day they were laid.

"Prongs?" He lifted the box out of the hollow it was resting in and turned to face the others, sweat shining on his fat cheeks. "I found something."

Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at Peter. Sirius stayed on his knees, hands resting against the floor in front of him almost like a frog, but Remus and James both stood.

"What is it?" James asked.

"It's a box. Should I open it?" Peter replied, but his voice shook and it ruined any effect of courage that he might have been going for.

"I'll do it," James said, holding out his hands for Peter to pass him the box.

"You don't have to be a hero, James." Remus knew he was wasting his breath. James always had to be a hero.

"Heroes don't exist," Sirius muttered darkly from the floor, but no one paid any attention to him.

"Someone has to do it, so it might as well be me." James could be as stubborn as Sirius when he wanted to be, and as the unofficial leader of the Marauders he often felt it his duty to shoulder the biggest burdens. He also thought it his right to reap the biggest rewards though, so it balanced itself out in the end. James's arms were still outstretched, waiting, and Peter passed the box to him without much hesitation.

"Everyone cover me," James said once he had the box in his hands.

Remus rolled his eyes. "This isn't an Auror novel, James. You can cut the theatrics," he said, but he raised his wand all the same. Peter mimicked him and even Sirius finally got to his feet and pointed his wand at James and the box too.

"If that explodes and kills us all…" Sirius warned.

"You'll what? Kill my dead body?" James replied, but their jesting seemed slightly forced under the circumstances.

"Just open it already," Remus sighed. He felt ridiculous, standing with one foot slightly ahead of him, knees bent, wand pointing at a (probably harmless) wooden box. Anyone would think there was a Mountain Troll or something standing before him, not one of his best friends. At least Sirius and Peter were both standing in basically the same position so he didn't look like an idiot alone.

James took his time with the box, though whether that was because he wanted to annoy the others or because he was scared of what was going to happen when he opened it, even he probably wasn't sure. There was a small catch on the front which he released carefully before waiting a moment, just to make sure nothing was going to happen. When nothing did, he slowly raised the lid.

Obviously Voldemort had thought his outer protections would be enough. Inside the box was a folded cloth and nestled on top of that cloth, almost hidden amongst the wrinkles of fabric, was a small black and gold ring.

"That's the ring from the memory!" Sirius, who was now leaning over James's shoulder, recognised it immediately.

James reached to pick up the ring, but Remus caught his wrist. "Hey!" he protested.

"Don't put it on," Remus warned him.

"I wasn't going to!"

"Remember what happened last time we found a Horcrux? You put it on. Forgive me for thinking it was possible that you would do so again." Remus still hadn't let go of James's wrist, but somehow he had summoned the Horcrux bag out of his backpack and now he let go and picked the ring up himself, wincing as he did so as if waiting for an explosion of some sort. None came, and he dropped the small piece of jewellery into the bag to join the diadem already there. Only once the bag was closed did everyone really start to breathe again.

"Two down!" Sirius said eventually, voice full of fake cheer.

"Four to go," Peter finished gloomily.

**o 0 o**

They had decided not to continue walking until the next day so they returned to the now familiar clearing and set up camp once again. The fire was going and they'd just finished their meal so their bellies were full and their toes were warm and everyone was feeling more content than they had in days. Weeks, even. But it wouldn't last long. It never did.

"So, now we have two of those things," Sirius said, leaning back on his hands, the very picture of casual curiosity. "What are we going to do with them?"

He was met with a stony silence. James was staring at the fire as if it had suddenly gone green or something, and Peter looked awkwardly from Sirius to Remus. Not this fight again.

"We've got them contained in the bag, until we can figure out how to destroy them," Remus said eventually.

"You mean, until you decide to actually tell us how it's done." Sirius said scathingly. He knew that Remus knew how to destroy them, and he couldn't understand why he wouldn't just tell them.

"I don't know how to do it," Remus's reply sounded less than wooden – it sounded like it was made from cardboard. It had been repeated so many times it had lost its structural security and could to be bent any which way. Paper, even. A flimsy imitation of a valid response.

"Remus, really." James spoke up. "We all know you know. Please, just tell us so that Sirius shuts up."

Remus set his jaw and stood up. "I'm going to bed." He left the group and climbed into the tent, pulling the flap closed behind him.

**o 0 o**

They started walking again the next day. They didn't really have much of an idea of where they were going, except Remus remembered the lady at the Orphanage telling him about a beach they used to take the kids to for holidays. Apparently there had been an incident between Riddle and two other children in a cave near the beach, so they were hoping there was a chance it would have some significance to him. Or not, but it was worth a try all the same and they didn't have any other ideas. Except it was a long way away from Little Hangleton and none of the boys really had any idea what direction it was in.

"Why won't you just tell us?" Sirius had been walking beside Remus in silence for almost half an hour when he finally spoke. Remus had been expecting the question.

"Because there is no point."

"So you admit you know?"

There was no point in pretending he didn't anymore. Remus knew when he was fighting a lost cause. "I know two ways to destroy a Horcrux, and there is no point in telling you what they are because neither of them are viable options and trying either would only get us all killed." He didn't wait for Sirius's reply, just walked faster, moving away from him and joining James. Sirius didn't follow, but Remus knew the argument wasn't over.

He doubted it would be over until he told Sirius. It was inevitable that he would tell him, eventually. He just hoped he could hold out for long enough that it wouldn't end in disaster – though he was fairly certain it would end in disaster no matter when he told him. Weak – he'd always been weak. Too weak to go to Dumbledore when he should have, when he had the chance. Too weak to ever say no to any of the stupid field trips they took at full moon. Too weak to keep a single word from slipping past his traitorous lips even when there were lives at stake.

The next time Sirius asked, later that night, he told him.

"A  _Basilisk_?" James's eyes nearly bulged out of his head.

"Fiendfyre?" Sirius just sounded curious. It was strange, contrasted against the horror that had been in James's voice half a second before.

"Cursed fire," Remus sighed. "It is  _impossible_  to control."

"But it would destroy a Horcrux?" The flickering light of the campfire threw the angles of Sirius's cheekbones into sharp relief, making him look almost hollow from where Remus sat.

"There's no magical way to fix something that has been destroyed with Fiendfyre, so yes, I think it would work to destroy a Horcrux. But Sirius, we can't try it. None of us are experienced enough to control it. It'd be suicide."

"Basilisk's aren't much safer," James interjected. "And how are we meant to find one of them anyway?"

"This whole quest is ridiculous!" Peter stood, surprising everyone. "It's bloody stupid! We're running around the bloody forest trying not to be killed by You-Know-Who so we can make a fancy collection out of bits of his soul that we have no hope of destroying." He would almost have sounded hysterical if he wasn't so angry. "Why didn't you tell us this to start with? Why did we even start this shit if it has always been pointless?"

"I tried to tell you-"

"No you didn't! You offered a few token protests so you could say you had but you always go along with everything Sirius does!"

Remus almost choked at the accusation, more because of whom it was coming from that anything else. " _I_  always follow what he does? You're the one who jumps every time James asks – you don't even bother asking how high." He was still sitting, the fire between him and Peter. It grated slightly to allow Peter the height advantage but he refused to stand and make this into more than it was. "We all knew we were heading into a war. Maybe none of us realised what that meant, but we all knew we were."

James and Sirius were both watching the fight in amazement. They'd never seen Peter like this before.

"War? This isn't war. This is a joke." Peter spat. "You're a joke. You always think you have all of the answers, but when it really matters, you just say there's nothing we can do."

"I don't see you coming up with any solutions," Sirius interrupted in Remus's defence. It was one thing for him to be insisting Remus fix everything, but it was entirely another for Peter to call him a joke.

"We've got two options," James added, talking over whatever Peter's response was. "We can't use Fiendfyre, so we need to find a Basilisk."

Remus couldn't help but laugh. Pretty soon, the others were laughing too. The whole situation was ridiculous, Peter standing with his hands clenched into fists and his cheeks stained with anger while James sat there talking about finding a Basilisk as if he was asking for a slice of bread with his dinner.

"Right, find a Basilisk. That's no problem; I normally come across six before breakfast."

**o 0 o**

They were really no closer to figuring out what to do or where to go than they had been the night before, but they spent the next day walking all the same. Peter wasn't talking to anyone, walking on his own a few paces behind them and staring sullenly at his feet with each step. No one tried to approach him. The laughter might have lifted the mood the night before, but come morning everyone was thinking too much again, and thinking wasn't a good idea right now. There was too much to think about.

The days seemed to stretch on forever. Having no destination made it difficult to feel like they were making progress and the trees around them always looked the same. Every night they set up camp and argued about what they were going to do, until soon nearly every conversation ended in someone – normally Peter – snapping at the others. The idea was to head for the coast, so they could attempt to find the cave the woman at the Orphanage had spoken about, but none of them really knew which way the coast was, and no one was all that optimistic about finding a particular cave along it.

Remus was regretting having told them anything. James was already trying to calculate where they were most likely to find a Basilisk and Sirius was arguing with him, disagreeing with almost all of his suggestions and the only real comfort Remus could find in it was that they weren't trying to figure out how to conjure Fiendfyre yet. Peter got more and more sullen as they walked, refusing to join any of their conversations. It wasn't like Peter, but none of them were really the same anymore.

The forest they were walking through gave way to open mountainside and then sparse woods before they ended up back in amongst the trees. Full moon came and went and they still had no idea if they were even walking the right way. It was inevitable really. Maybe if they'd been more focused, had some task they were actively completing, it wouldn't have happened, but they didn't. They were wandering mindlessly, everyone's nerves long past frayed. Everyone knew Sirius was bound to try it eventually. It was a stupid risk, and Sirius knew that, but he was Sirius Black and that's what he did – take stupid risks.

It was late morning, and they'd stopped to rest. The sun was filtering through the leaves of the trees, leaving the small clearing dimly lit by a dappled light. The boys were all standing separately, Peter on the opposite side of the clearing from the others, Remus leaning against a tree with James beside him talking about some Quidditch match that no one else really cared about and Sirius only a few paces away. Sirius had the backpack, but no one was paying attention to him until it was too late. Remus looked up and noticed the wand in his hand and the diadem balanced on a rock in front of him and his heart stopped.

"No!" He lunged for Sirius's arm, but the flames had already burst from the end of his wand, fiery serpents and dragons dancing into the sky, mouths open, hungry, ready to devour everything before them. "What have you done?" The fear was so sharp it burnt almost as hot as the fire.

Everything seemed to happen in slow motion. Remus's fingers digging into Sirius's arm, his grip so tight his knuckles showed white. James breaking off mid sentence with a wordless cry of fear. Peter screaming. You couldn't say Sirius had lost control of it, because he'd never gained control over it to start with. The flames were never going to be content with just the diadem and the sound of the soul fragment dying was drowned in the sound of the fire. It leapt and spun, promising all sorts of wonders like a mirage in a desert and then it pounced like a scorpion, hissing like a cat and roaring like the ocean. A tsunami of flames out of control and dying to consume them all.

"James," Remus screamed, voice cracking as he tried to be heard over the roaring of the flames. "Grab Peter!" James turned towards Remus first, confused and disorientated by the paralysing fear of imminent death. "Peter, grab Peter!" Remus repeated, gesturing madly with his free hand, the other still gripping Sirius like a vice, dragging him towards where James was even as he spoke.

James understood, finally, and it seemed like a century since the fire had started but it had only been an instant. Peter was still screaming, trying to get to James without being swallowed by the fire, but they could all see it was impossible. Only the knowledge that if he didn't get to them he would die spurred him through. James reached for him and their hands brushed just as Remus caught James's other sleeve. The fire roared louder for a second, as if it knew it was about to lose them, and then there was silence.

**o 0 o**

They were standing in a small clearing ringed with trees and the air seemed to ring with the very lack of sound. And then the screaming started.

"Oh Merlin," James pulled out of Remus's grip and fell to his knees, emptying the contents of his stomach onto the dirt.

Peter was screaming so loudly Remus couldn't think. James was still crouched beside him and Sirius's arm fell from Remus's hand as he relaxed his hold. Before they'd Apparated he'd known that Peter had to go through the fire to get to them, but he'd hoped – he hadn't realised what that really meant. He'd never heard someone scream like that before. And somehow all he could think was that it was the first time he had ever managed to Apparate without feeling sick, though what good that was going to do he had no idea.

He really wished Peter would stop screaming.

"Silencio" Sirius jabbed his wand towards Peter and they were plunged into silence again where even their own breathing seemed too loud.

"What do we do?" James was looking at Remus, and not for the first time he wished he wasn't always the one they turned to for answers. He didn't have any. He never had any. This was all his fault.

Sirius was trying to cast healing spells on Peter, desperately flinging one after another at his friend and something inside Remus broke.

"I told you not to use it! Nothing can heal it! Nothing!"

"There has to be something!" Sirius flung his hands into the air and nearly lost an eye to his own wand. "There has to be something we can do." He threw his wand onto the ground and the backpack followed it a moment later. Remus hadn't realised he'd still had the backpack on. At least they hadn't lost everything, but in his hurry Sirius simply tried to empty the contents out onto the dirt.

"No, you idiot!" Remus finally started moving, grabbing the backpack from Sirius before the pile could get too high, "you'll never find anything like that."

"Dittany, dittany," Sirius couldn't find his wand under all of the stuff he'd emptied from the bag.

"Accio dittany," Remus spoke the spell Sirius should have used to start with, and the dittany flew into his hand. He held it out to Sirius who snatched it from him without a word and turned back to Peter.

It was a good thing the silencing spell was still effective, because when the dittany hit his burns Peter started screaming all over again, his whole body arching up off the ground with the pain.

"It's not working!" Sirius's voice rose dangerously in pitch.

"It'll take a while," Remus said quietly, and Sirius nearly jumped because he hadn't realised he was so close. "Nothing is going to fix it straight away."

"I didn't mean-" Sirius began but Remus just shook his head. It didn't matter what Sirius had meant to do.

"I shouldn't have told you."

Sirius bit out a harsh imitation of a laugh, but now wasn't the time to have that argument.

"What are we going to do?" James echoed his earlier question and Remus realised he had never answered him.

"Stay here until he's better," he said eventually and there was nowhere for him to look. Not at Peter who was still writhing in pain, not at Sirius who looked sick with guilt, and not at James who was still kneeling beside his own vomit. If he lived forever, he'd never forget the sound of Peter's screams or the roar of the Fiendfyre as it tore through everything in its path. He hoped it burnt itself out before it reached any muggle towns. The smell of burnt flesh was making him feel sick. If he'd kept his damn mouth shut none of this would have happened.


	7. Chapter 7

The clearing that Remus had Apparated them into was the perfect place to set up camp, and they had done so after the initial shock had started to wear off. Peter had been moved inside the tent while unconscious, because there really was no way of doing it that wouldn't hurt him. Once they had him inside James had constructed a makeshift room around him by hanging some sheets from the bunk so he wouldn't be disturbed by the rest of them (and so they didn't have to look at him anymore). No one said much that night. They lit a small campfire and sat around it and ate some food but they were all operating on autopilot and no one was really hungry.

The next morning they rose with the sun and it didn't take long for James, Sirius and Remus to end up outside the tent once Peter woke up. No one wanted to listen to him groaning in pain, not when there was nothing they could do to help him.

"Where are we, anyway?" James asked later in the morning, breaking the thick silence that had settled around them.

Remus stared at him for a few moments before he realised the question was directed at him. "Oh. My parents used to bring me here for my changes when I was a kid," he told them. "There's nothing around for miles. Not any people, anyway."

"So no one should stumble on us here?"

"No, but we should put up the wards anyway." They hadn't done that the night before, no one had thought of it. "We're going to be here for a while."

Remus was right. Until Peter recovered enough to Apparate, the boys weren't going to be able to leave the woods. As it was, it would be months before Peter could even walk, so they settled in for a long tedious wait with nothing to do except give Peter his potions and apply the salves to his burns or sit around the campfire in the clearing outside of the shack and talk. And yet somehow, when there was nothing for them to do but speak to one another, they all drew even further apart.

Peter hardly spoke to anyone, when he wasn't unconscious or half asleep from the numerous potions they were forcing him to take he was scribbling in an old book and the only response they could elicit from him were grunts and glares or abuse. Remus started going for walks on his own during the day, and sometimes during the night. James immersed himself in trying to figure out where they'd find a Basilisk, actually reading through some of the books Remus had brought along, but he wasn't getting anywhere. Sirius was angry at everyone and only got angrier the more everyone avoided each other. He was drowning in his own guilt and he could see Remus's retreating was due to the guilt he felt too. Nothing was working and everything was falling apart quite spectacularly.

They had managed to find the diadem and the ring, two Horcruxes found and one destroyed. One destroyed out of six and no way to destroy the others even if they found them (which was made more difficult by the fact they didn't know what they were) because even Sirius wasn't willing to try Fiendfyre again. Not when he still couldn't get the image of Peter screaming out of his head. It was imprinted on the backs of his eyelids and it was all he could see every time he closed his eyes. It was hard not to feel defeated, when the odds were stacked against them and they were all avoiding each other as much as possible. But they couldn't avoid each other forever, not when they were stuck sharing a tent in the middle of nowhere.

They'd been there for more than a month now, and Peter was slowly healing. Unfortunately, as he got stronger he had more energy to think of insults to throw at the others whenever they tried to help him. James and Sirius were sitting by the fire, eating their dinner one night when the sound of Peter's yells caused them both to look up. Remus was coming out of the tent, the open flap allowing Peter's tirade to escape the usually soundproof tent. The relief on Remus's face was plain when he let the flap fall closed behind him and Peter's yells were cut off abruptly. He sank down next to Sirius, looking as tired and stressed as the rest of them felt.

"How is he?" James asked.

"Writing in that book of his again," Remus sighed. "I asked how he was but he just told me to sod off. He's looking better though." No one made comment about the fact it had sounded like Peter had told him to do a lot more than sod off, though James was pretty sure he'd heard something about the Giant Squid and painful sexual acts which he was considering asking Remus to erase from his memory for him later.

"The dittany is working, but we're getting low on it," Sirius said, because even if it was hard to feel sympathy for him when he was acting like this it was their (his) fault Peter was in this situation to start with.

Remus nodded, he'd been watching their supply of dittany getting lower and lower and wondering how he was going to go once they ran out. The full moon was bad enough with the dittany there the next morning, but he couldn't deny that Peter needed it more right now. He could only hope that Peter was better before it ran out. It wouldn't do for him to survive this long and then die of an infection like a muggle because they didn't have anything to combat it with.

"Right," was all he said, and it had been too long since Sirius had spoken anyway. Sirius was looking at him with a mixture of anger and guilt written across his face.

"It's not your fault," he said.

"I shouldn't have told you," Remus replied, and he was all but biting the words out. It felt like someone was gripping him by the throat and squeezing as the guilt threatened to swallow him whole.

"No, you should have told me sooner. You shouldn't have tried to keep it from us." Sirius was too scared to say what he was thinking (I shouldn't have tried it) too scared because he knew it was the truth, knew he was the one in the wrong and knew he couldn't admit it out loud or he'd never recover from it. He'd almost killed one of his best friends because he was an idiot. Even allowing that thought to cross his mind was hard, saying it out loud, agreeing with that little voice everyone seemed to call their conscience, that would destroy him.

"I knew you'd try it," Remus replied with more aggression than he really felt. "You always rush into shit and bugger everything up. You never should have tried it!"

"You should have told us earlier and I wouldn't have needed to try it!" Sirius was on his feet again, they always seemed to be fighting now.

"Look what you bloody did when I did tell you!" Remus stood too, refusing to allow Sirius the height advantage. "Look what you did! Look at Peter!"

"What else have you been keeping from us?" Sirius stepped forward, his face mere inches from Remus's now. Remus could feel his hot breath as he hissed the words, but he wasn't intimidated in the slightest. Rather than step back like Sirius was probably expecting him to, he surged forward with a snarl that wasn't entirely human. Before anything could happen though, he felt hands gripping his shoulders and pulling him away.

"Remus!" It was James' voice and Remus jerked out of his grip fairly easily and turned to face him. "Remus, bloody hell!" Somehow Sirius was standing behind James now, Remus wasn't sure how they'd rearranged themselves like that but at some stage they had. They both looked surprised, even a little bit scared, maybe; though Sirius still looked angry beneath it. Remus opened his mouth to speak and then turned around and left the clearing without saying anything. If he had tried to he would have started screaming.

He walked until his legs ached and he couldn't walk anymore. His chest was heaving with every intake of air and he just felt drained. Drained of energy and drained of the anger that had been propelling him. There wasn't anything he recognised around him but that didn't worry him, he could figure out his way back to the tent later, right now he just wanted to breathe. He sank down onto a rock and watched his legs shake.

**o 0 o**

Luckily, although they may have been built of rickety wood lately, it seemed someone had put a fire repellent spell on their bridges, and they were all talking again within a few days. Not to say it was all rainbows and sunshine though, and Remus had found himself saddled with caring for Peter more than his fair share.

Just quietly, Remus though Peter was acting odd. Not that he didn't understand the sentiment behind the flow of insults and verbal attacks; Peter had very nearly died and was now living through an excruciatingly painful and humiliating healing process. Remus did know, on some level, how he felt; but he was generally healed within a few days, a week if he had a really bad night. Peter had been bedridden for almost three months now, and he wasn't getting any better. Or if he was, it was happening very slowly. But it felt like there was more to his anger and spite – because that was just it. If it had been Remus he would have been angry. Angry that his friends had caused him this pain and angry that they were all fine when he was hurting and just angry at the entire world. And maybe he would be hateful too, hate them for landing him in this position. He could understand Peter shifting all of the blame off himself, could understand his insistence that he didn't even want to come on this 'stupid bloody disaster' of a quest anyway, he could understand that. But he couldn't understand the complete change in Peter's entire personality.

Peter had always been the kind of person who would just go with the flow, roll with the punches, however you wanted to say it. He'd always been laid back, a follower, happy to do what made other people happy. And the anger had started before The Incident as they had come to call it. The anger had been there for a while now, simmering and starting to boil over, growing ever since they had left the Gaunt Shack, or maybe even before that. Remus knelt on the floor beside Peter's bunk and wiped spit and soup from the side of his face where Peter had spat it at him as he calmly held the next spoonful to his friend's mouth and wondered what was happening to them all. In the end, he made his decision. He had his suspicions and he'd tell the others as soon as he could confirm it. Their friendship couldn't be built on secrets and lies.

**o 0 o**

"Do you remember the rumours about when Hogwarts nearly closed down in the 40s?" Remus asked a few weeks later over breakfast.

"Wha'?" James replied around a mouthful of toast. "'ogwarts closed down?" Remus threw his own piece of toast at him and James ruefully swallowed his food. "No?" He ventured, as he brushed the piece of toast Remus had thrown clean and started buttering it. The 'three second rule' didn't even need to be stated, such was it that they lived by.

"I think I remember hearing something about it," Sirius contributed. "They had a student die, didn't they?"

"Yes, Moaning Myrtle." Remus rubbed a hand over his face. "There was a lot of panic, lots of students were petrified and then Myrtle died… The attacks stopped after she died, but there's nothing to indicate that whatever was doing it might not still be there."

"What are you saying?" Sirius asked, looking a fair mixture of confused and curious.

"Well, people being petrified, the way Myrtle died. I've been thinking and thinking where I read it, about the attacks, and I found it last night. It has to have been a Basilisk, and if it was, it'd still be there somewhere."

James spat out the bite of toast he'd just taken. "At Hogwarts?"

"Yes, at Hogwarts. Not inside the school, obviously, not somewhere where anyone could just stumble across it, but you know how many hidden passageways there are in the castle. There are probably thousands even we haven't found." He got up; abandoning what was left of his breakfast on the ground beside him. "I'll get the book, I'll show you." He disappeared into the tent and returned a few moments later holding an open book out towards James.

James didn't move to take the book, didn't even look at it. He was still staring at Remus. So was Sirius, for that matter, unable to make any sounds come out of his open mouth.

"You're bloody insane," James said eventually. "How on earth would a Basilisk live at Hogwarts without anyone noticing for thirty years?"

"I don't know," Remus admitted, and he knew his cheeks were burning red. "But the people who were attacked, the girl who died, it's all – it's all consistent with a Basilisk. I… I imagine."

"Why would the attacks stop if it was still there?"

"I don't know. It's just an idea, Prongs. It might have been something else, but I'm sick of getting yelled at for not sharing every idea I have so here you go."

"Well."

"Oh, shut up James, when has Moony ever been wrong?" Sirius finally found his voice. "If he thinks it's a Basilisk, it'd be a Basilisk. We have to go check it out." He was getting to his feet already.

"We can't go yet, you twit. Peter can't travel like he is and we can't leave him here alone." James rolled his eyes.

"Oh, right." Sirius sunk back to the ground. "Okay, but as soon as Peter's better, Hogwarts is our next stop."

**o 0 o**

Christmas was approaching fast. Sirius woke on the morning of the fifteenth of December to the sound of James's snores and Peter's quill scratching away in his journal and he went outside barefoot to see if Remus had returned yet. They'd been through four full moons since The Incident now and sometimes Remus was back at the tent before the others woke up, but sometimes he didn't come back until much later in the afternoon. Today it seemed like he was going to stay away for at least a while longer, and Sirius quickly returned to the tent as his bare toes were freezing and the novelty of watching his breath mist the air had worn off almost a month ago.

It only took about ten minutes of listening to James snore before Sirius decided to go for a walk and look for Remus. He pulled on a heavy coat and put on two pairs of thick socks before shoving his feet into his boots and wrapping his old Gryffindor scarf around his neck. After stuffing a couple of bars of chocolate into his coat pocket for when he found his friend he left the tent for the second time.

When Sirius found him the sun was still rising, light spilling through the trees and highlighting the old scars on Remus's tired face. He was sitting on a rock, his feet dangling in the near frozen stream, shoes and socks nowhere to be seen. It must have been freezing, but he didn't seem to notice.

Sirius had never seen him looking like this before – broken. Remus would probably hit him if he could hear him thinking that, but it was true. Maybe it was just the scars, or the blood he could see beginning to stain through the thin shirt he'd obviously pulled on after changing back, but it was probably more the way he was hunched in on himself and staring at nothing, so entranced in whatever he was thinking about that he hadn't even noticed Sirius standing there staring at him for the past ten minutes. Sirius moved forward.

Remus glanced over at him, face unreadable, and then turned back to stare out across the water. Sirius hesitated, but pushed forward all the same and sat beside him, trailing his fingers in the water and deciding he definitely wasn't going to put his feet in there. He shook the water from his hand and dried it off on his jeans before shoving it back in his coat pocket. Remus still hadn't said a word so eventually Sirius spoke.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine."

The silence stretched out again and Sirius couldn't help but think about all the fighting they've been doing over the last few months and wonder when they lost the ability to just talk and laugh together. He's not angry anymore. He thought he would be, thought he should be, but he isn't. Just a little bit sad.

"I shouldn't have used the Fiendfyre."

"No, you shouldn't have," Remus agreed, not finding it odd that Sirius would come out with that, over four months since it had happened. Peter was nearly well enough to Apparate now, they had plans to leave for Hogwarts after Christmas, and Sirius was finally able to say it out loud. The silence continued, broken only by the soft sound of the water moving around Remus's feet as he swung his legs slowly through the stream.

They had expected to be more romantic, war. A great quest, saving the world from evil. They might have expected the pain and the fear, but they hadn't expected the anger. They were tearing each other apart before Voldemort even had the chance to know they were there. How much of a threat could they be, how much good could they do, like this?

Winter was on them, and Remus sat with his feet in the icy water and his gaze fixed on nothing. Hot breaths misted the air before them, and shaking fingers were hidden deep inside pockets, the cold but an excuse for their trembling. It was a lot quieter than he'd expected a war to be, but on some level he thought he'd prefer the chaos of it. Someone had once said that war was mostly boredom and then bloodshed, but he couldn't remember who. It wasn't boredom though; it was fear, fear and anger. Sirius wanted to scream at Remus but he couldn't scream at someone so still.

"You want me to say I should have told you sooner," Remus spoke without tearing his gaze from the air before him and Sirius shook his head but said 'yes'.

"Maybe I should have. What would've happened if I told you while we were still at Hogwarts? Would you have burned the castle down? Killed hundreds? Thousands? Would you have survived? What if I told you while we were in Diagon Alley – how many shops would've been left after you were done taking risks? Or at the Orphanage? Or in Little Hangleton? Would you have stopped to think before you did it in any of those places?"

Sirius felt sick to his stomach, a dread soaking right down to the very tips of his half frozen toes. The dead weight in his mouth that was his tongue refused to move, refused to allow him his voice again. Remus still didn't look at him. If he looked at him he wouldn't be able to say any of this, and it needed to be said.

"And if I had told you, could I have lived with it? Knowing that all I needed to do was keep my mouth shut and then people wouldn't have died? Could  _you_  have lived with it?" It had kept him awake at night, wondering, for months before he'd said anything out loud. "You wanted to be a hero, Sirius. But war isn't about heroes. Sure, the stories you hear afterwards all have heroes in them, but war is about the little people. The ones who get hurt, the ones who cry, who lose their friends and family, who lose themselves. As you said, heroes don't exist, and even if they did, we wouldn't classify. We're not heroes. We're just four stupid kids who thought they knew better than the greatest Wizard ever to live. Who are we to say we know better than Dumbledore? But we did. We're conceited gits," he laughed, turning and looking over at Sirius finally. "And now Peter is lying in the tent recovering from burns that should have killed him, and we're all fighting more than we are talking. Hell, we can barely look at each other."

"Remus-"

"We can't beat Voldemort when we can't talk to each other."

"You – you're right, Moony. Fuck," Sirius turned away, ran a hand through his hair, drew a breath or two of the icy air. "Of course you're right, but – but, what," he didn't want to hear anymore. "We're doing our best, damn it."

"We're doing okay," Remus admitted, exhaling. "We're doing okay."

"And we'll be okay. You and I, we're good, right?" Sirius looked at Remus cautiously.

"Are we?"

"I… Yes." His only argument was with himself now – could he accept what Remus said? Could he acknowledge that it was true, if he'd been told sooner he might have killed people? Not yet. Not yet, he couldn't. But he knew somewhere that he might be able to accept it eventually. He couldn't argue it, anyway. And Remus and he were bigger than that, they meant more than this stupid war. "We're the Marauders, right? We can't let a little thing like Voldemort tear us apart." Remus's laugh made it impossible for Sirius to keep the smile off his own face.

"Let's go back to the camp before James sets up a search party," Remus decided, lifting his feet from the water and shaking them dry before pulling on his socks and shoes. Sirius caught his arm when he stumbled, the wound on his side obviously worse than he was letting on.

"You're burning," Sirius said. "Are you okay?"

"Always hot after I change," Remus shrugged, but he couldn't hide the wince when he took a step forward.

"We're out of dittany," Sirius told him, though he knew Remus already knew. "Will you be okay?" He'd asked the question twice now, three times if you counted earlier, and Remus still wasn't meeting his eyes. "I brought you chocolate," he remembered and handed Remus one of the bars as if that could fix him. The smile on Remus's face as he took it almost made him think it would.

"I'll be fine, Padfoot. It's almost Christmas, and then we can go back to Hogwarts and get some help for Peter. Everything will work out," he didn't go so far as to say everything would be okay, because he didn't really know. But they were talking again now, better than they had been in months, so he thought it might.


	8. Chapter 8

On Christmas morning Remus woke to the sound of music. After a moment of complete confusion he identified the song as Sirius's favourite Christmas carol, and couldn't stop the smile that reached his lips. It was just like Sirius, after all, to try to make Christmas worthwhile even when they were out in the middle of the woods – and in the middle of a war, no less.

As he sat up, swinging his legs over the side of his bed, he realised that Sirius hadn't just set up music to greet them. The entire tent was decked out with Christmas decorations that Sirius simply must have conjured himself, because they definitely hadn't packed anything of the sort. It would have taken him hours, even with magic, and Remus wondered how early Sirius had gotten up – and where on earth he had vanished too, because he was nowhere to be seen.

"Sirius?" he asked, jumping down off the bunk and taking a moment to pull on socks and shoes before he went to check outside. The snow was still falling, but not as heavily as it had been the night before, and everything was covered in a blanket of white. Remus stepped outside, wrapping his arms around himself against the cold, and called out again. "Sirius?"

"Remus?"

It took a few moments before he saw him, lying in the snow with his arms spread out to either side.

"What in Merlin's name -" Remus shook his head. "Are you bloody insane? It's freezing!"

"I'm making snow angels. You should try it, it's fun."

Remus walked over and stood beside him. "I think you're going blue," he informed him. "Why are you making snow angels at dawn?"

"It's Christmas, Moony." Sirius told him, as if that explained everything. It really didn't.

"I'm going inside before I freeze to death," Remus said. He was starting to shiver already so he turned around to head back to the tent. Sirius caught hold of his ankle and almost sent him sprawling into the snow.

"No, stay. Come on, Moony, lighten up! It's Christmas, have some fun."

"I'd rather stay warm," Remus grumbled as he tried to free himself from Sirius's grip without falling over.

"Stop whining, you'd be warm again as soon as we got back inside the tent. We're not  _muggles_ ," Sirius yanked at Remus's leg and finally managed to tip him over. Remus yelped as he landed in the snow.

"I'm going to kill you," he said, sitting up and glaring at Sirius. Sirius sat up too, but only to push Remus back down into the snow.

"Shut up and make a snow angel," he instructed. Remus tried to sit up again but Sirius held him down. Eventually he gave in with a dramatic sigh and started to make the snow angel. Once he was sure Remus was complying with his instructions, Sirius flopped back into the snow beside him and continued to make his own.

It was actually kind of fun. Not that Remus would admit that out loud. At some point, the snow angel making dissolved into a snowball fight, with Remus dumping an armful of snow over Sirius's face and then running for it. Sirius chased him, slipping in the snow and changing into Padfoot as soon as he realised Remus was going to make it back to the tent. With a flying leap, he caught Remus in the back with his front paws and quickly had him pinned to the ground.

"Oh, sod off!" Remus cried through a mouthful of snow. He managed to roll over, though in hindsight that was a bad idea and likely only possible because Sirius wanted him too – a fact made all too obvious when he received a giant lick to the face. "Ugh!" He threw his arms up to protect himself.

"Remus, why are you lying in the snow?" James's sleepy voice interrupted them.

"Why does it look like I'm lying in the snow?" Remus replied from behind his arms while Padfoot happily slobbered all over him.

"Hm. Good point." James yawned and stretched. "It's bloody cold out here."

Remus and Padfoot shared a glance. It was as good as an invitation, really. James didn't have a chance, and neither did poor Peter when he wandered out to see what all the yelling was about.

**o 0 o**

Later, once they were all dry and warm again, they settled down inside the tent to eat breakfast. James had somehow escaped inside first, and while the others had finished their snowball fight he had set up the food and begun eating. The others weren't far behind him though, tracking snow into the tent and casting spells on themselves to dry their clothes and warm their frozen skin.

"Thanks for waiting for us," Sirius complained, stealing James's toast out of his hand and sitting beside him.

"That's fine, it's not like I was eating that or anything." James glared and got himself another piece of toast.

"Merry Christmas to you too," Sirius said cheerfully.

"Some Christmas," Peter sighed.

"Hey! I spent ages decorating!"

"It's awesome, best decorating I've ever seen," Peter quickly backtracked. "Just, well, we're in the woods. I miss Hogwarts Christmases. And Christmas at home."

"Yeah," James sighed. "I miss home too."

"If we weren't out here doing this, we mightn't have homes to miss," Remus pointed out.

"I guess not," Peter didn't look convinced. "I still don't think we really thought this through."

"Of course we didn't think it through," James agreed. "If we had thought about it all, would we have started it? No. But we need to – we're the only ones who will."

"Hey, hey, shut up. It's Christmas. Let's worry about the war tomorrow," Sirius interrupted before Peter could reply. "I had this awesome idea for a snow fight later, and the creek is frozen and wide enough to skate on, so we could conjure up some ice-skates and -" Sirius's excitement was contagious. Soon all of the boys were bickering over who would be on whose team in the snow fight and whether they were likely to drown if they tried to skate on the creek. The air was full of laughter, all fears forgotten. A few hours of freedom and fun – a last hurrah – before they would pack up their things and start looking for a Basilisk.

**o 0 o**

They left a week later. It hadn't been the plan to wait until after Christmas and the New Year, but Peter had healed slowly without magical assistance and even now he was barely well enough to Apparate. The scarring would be minimal thanks to the dittany, and he was up and walking fine, but the others still worried. He just didn't seem like Peter half the time, constantly pale and peaky, and more than once they'd questioned whether he was really well enough to Apparate yet. Nevertheless, his condition hadn't changed in a few weeks now and eventually they decided there was no point waiting any longer.

It took them longer than they had expected to pack down their camp. Living somewhere for months, even just in a tent in the woods, it was inevitable that they'd put down some roots. Even just taking down Sirius's Christmas decorations took forever, so it was a few hours before they had everything stowed back in Remus's backpack. Once packed, they decided they'd better have lunch before they left. Eventually, once they had run out of ways to postpone their leaving, they grouped together in cluster in the middle of the clearing they'd been calling home for the last few months.

"Off we go then," Sirius said, and they all placed their right hands on James's outstretched arm, gripping tightly. The clearing vanished, and they felt like they'd left their lungs behind. Immense pressure squeezed down on them from all sides, pushing what air they still had out of their chests, and then they were standing in Hogsmeade.

Remus was pleased to find that his newfound ability to Apparate without being sick had stuck around, though he did feel little light-headed as he tried to catch his breath.

"To Honeydukes," Sirius said, pulling his hand away from James's arm.

"We still haven't -" Remus began, but Sirius interrupted him.

"We don't go to Dumbledore. We know what we need to do, and there's no point in getting more people involved. Dumbledore would make us sit out, you know he would. We can do it on our own."

Remus wasn't happy, but he didn't argue. He was starting to realise there was no real point in arguing with Sirius, because he never listened anyway.

"We don't really know what we're doing," James pointed out when he realised that Remus wasn't going to. "We have no idea where to start looking, or even if Remus is right about there being a Basilisk at Hogwarts at all."

"We talk to Myrtle," Remus said with a shrug. "If she remembers anything, then we'll know."

Sirius grinned and clapped him on the back. "Good old Moony, you really do think of everything."

Except for how to convince Sirius and James that it was best to go speak to Dumbledore rather than rushing headlong into another stupid idea. Remus sighed and followed his friends as they started down the path that led to Honeydukes.

The walk through Hogsmeade also took longer than it should have, but no one was surprised about that. It made them all slightly nostalgic, looking at the different stores where they had all caused so much mischief over the last seven years. Some of them were closed down now, and Madam Puddifoot's looked like it had been on fire.

For the first time, James looked worried. "I hope Lily is okay," he said quietly as they stared into the burnt out shop. None of the others really knew what to say, though Peter patted him awkwardly on the shoulder.

Honeydukes was still open, which was lucky as they needed access to the passageway beneath it. For the first time in their lives they walked through the sweets shop without buying anything. They'd been waiting for too long already, postponing their departure again and again and they needed to get through into the castle. Who knew how many people had died while they'd been making snow angels? The walk through Hogsmeade had really opened their eyes to what was going on. All this talk of a war seemed much more real in the dying village than it had in the isolation of Remus's woods. As they headed down to the cellar they noticed that the shelves were almost empty anyway, as if they hadn't been restocked in months.

"Lumos," James lit up his wand while Sirius pulled up the trapdoor. They entered the familiar passageway one at a time; James, Sirius, Peter, and then Remus bringing up the rear. Nothing had changed, save perhaps a few more cobwebs, and they were silent as they made their way down the few hundred steps and into the narrow, twisted passage.

"I'd forgotten how long this takes," Sirius breathed as they neared the end of the passage. They'd been walking for what felt like an hour, stumbling over the uneven floor of the dimly lit tunnel.

"We're there," James told him. He'd just reached the bottom of the stone slide that lead up to the third floor corridor. Before they left the passage they checked the map, just to make sure that the hall was empty; but the only little feet on their area of the map were their own, clustered together at the end of the passageway. Sirius opened it and they all climbed out from behind the stone witch and gathered in the corridor.

"Where to?" James asked.

"We really should -" Remus began.

"No," Sirius spoke over him. "We shouldn't. Come on, where would we find Moaning Myrtle?"

"She's normally on the second floor, right?" James looked to Remus for confirmation and he nodded. "Then let's go."

"Go where?" The voice came from behind them and Sirius stuffed the map into his pocket before turning around.

"McGonagall!" James grinned, "How nice to see you again."

"I wish I could say the same, Mr Potter." McGonagall was peering down her nose at the boys, though James and Sirius were both easily as tall as her now. "I won't bother asking how you managed to get in, as I assume it is the same way you used to always get out." There was something dangerous in her voice, Remus opened his mouth to say something (anything) in their defence, but she spoke again before he could. "I gather you have a good reason for this trespass?"

"We -"

"You see -"

"It's -"

All three of them tried to speak at once, and then stopped, looking at each other.

"No," Sirius insisted.

"But -" Remus protested.

"I believe it may be necessary to move this conversation to my office," McGonagall decided.

"Yes, Professor." They followed her down the corridor, all elbows and whispers.

**o 0 o**

McGonagall's office hadn't changed in the six or so months since they'd been students at Hogwarts, and they all felt just like naughty schoolboys lined up in front of her desk. Remus glanced across at James and Sirius and then realised something.

"Where's Peter?"

"He was right here!" James looked around in confusion.

McGonagall sat down in the chair behind her desk and peered at them. "You are quite mistaken. I haven't seen Mr Pettigrew since the four of you disappeared just before the End of Year Feast," she told them, slightly confused at their confusion.

"But he was with us, just a moment ago," Sirius insisted.

"Was he?" McGonagall only sounded mildly interested. And now that they thought about it, none of them could remember Peter being there since they were in the passageway behind the One Eyed Witch. "If you're quite done," she continued, her glasses glinting ominously, "I would like to know what you three think you're doing trespassing on Hogwarts grounds."

Remus wanted to tell her, but he kept his mouth firmly shut, looking at James. Sirius did the same.

"We're… looking for something," James said eventually.

"Oh?" McGonagall raised her eyebrows. "And this something, it can only be found in Hogwarts, can it?"

"Well… Remus thinks so." James looked at Remus, who stared at him in shock.

"Is that so, Mr Lupin?"

"Uh, yes, Professor. I think so," Remus frowned at James.

McGonagall was about to respond, but before she could a student burst into the room so violently that the heavy wooden door bounced off the wall.

"He's dead!"

For a moment all they could hear was screaming, the sound of feet pounding against the stone floors of the corridor outside McGonagall's office, and then another few students rushed into the room to join the first.

"Professor Cadwaladr is dead!"

McGonagall didn't spare the boys a glance; she was on her feet at once.

"What is this nonsense?"

"In his office. He's dead!" The student who had stopped before her looked like he wished he hadn't, but McGonagall barely paid him a seconds notice before she was sweeping out of the room.

Remus looked at James and Sirius and the three of them scampered after her.

The scene that met them when they stepped out into the Defence Against the Dark Arts Professor's office was far more peaceful than they had expected. Sprawled across his desk, Professor Cadwaladr stared vacantly with huge eyes at something that was no longer before him. His hand was clasped around his wand, but it didn't look like he'd had time to use it. None of the boys knew Professor Cadwaladr, he was obviously the replacement for last years DADA Professor who had left due to family reasons, but it was still eerie to see someone lying dead inside Hogwarts.

"How -" James began, but McGonagall was already heading onwards, up the flight of stairs that connected the Professor's office to the DADA classroom.

The classroom wasn't as untouched as the office had been. Tables and chairs were overturned, one of the windows had been blasted out, presumably by a poorly aimed Stupefy, and there were two students – kids really, barely thirteen – dead on the floor.

"They didn't have a chance," McGonagall had paused now, standing in the doorway and staring at the mess. Remus wondered if she had even realised that he, Sirius and James had followed her. Probably not, because if she had she would have sent them back.

An ear splitting shriek came from the hallway, and McGonagall was moving again. Remus wasn't sure he wanted to go out there, wasn't sure he wanted to keep following her, but James and Sirius were so he did. When they burst out into the hallway, McGonagall was nowhere to be seen; but the cause of the screaming and dead bodies was immediately apparent.

At first he thought it was a snake. Which was stupid, really. They'd come to Hogwarts looking for a Basilisk, and he sees one and just assumes it is a giant snake. Top of the class, or what? But then he saw the petrified students, the dead ones, and it clicked.

"James," he breathed.

"I know," James replied.

Remus had read many muggle books as a child, stealing books from his parents' shelf whenever he ran out of books of his own to read. A line he'd read in one of those stood out right now, though how appropriate it was he wasn't sure.  _The_ _best laid schemes of mice and men g_ _o oft awry_  – had anything they'd ever planned gone as they dictated? But they didn't have a plan right now, they just had a Basilisk and if they wanted to stay alive they were going to have to act quickly.

Remus's mind had gone blank.

"Stupefy!" Sirius cried, a jet of red light shooting from his wand at the giant snake. It didn't even bother to turn around, the spell hitting its scales and bouncing off into the wall.

"Remus, how do we kill this thing?" James asked urgently, flinging another spell at the Basilisk and ducking as it came back at him.

"Don't look at it!" Remus flung an arm up over his eyes as one of James's spells hit the Basilisk and it started to swing around. Sirius and James imitated him.

"Remus!"

"I -"

"If you say  _I don't know_  I am going to personally KILL you!" Sirius ground out, as threatening as someone could be while covering their eyes with both of their hands.

"Roosters?" Remus offered. Even with his arm over his eyes he knew that both James and Sirius had swung towards him in disbelief.

"Well, do you happen to have a Rooster in your bag?" Sirius snapped.

"Uh," no. But he did have his wand in his left hand.

A few moments later the crowing of a rooster rung out through the air. The Basilisk swung away, crashing into the wall of the corridor and raining them with dust.

"Watch out!" Sirius, probably, because it was he who grabbed hold of Remus and hauled him out of the way just as the Basilisk came crashing down where he'd been standing.

When the ringing in his ears had faded, Remus lowered his arm from his eyes and stared at the motionless beast.

"… is it dead?" James asked, stepping in beside Sirius, who finally let go of Remus.

"I… think so…" Remus replied, not moving.

"Roosters? Really?" Sirius sounded bemused. "A great serpent like that killed by a rooster?"

"A pretend rooster at that," James added as the rooster in question scratched at the ground before them.

"Mr Lupin," and Professor McGonagall must have returned to the hallway at some point during the brief battle – if you could call it a battle, that is. "That," she paused to look at the rooster, "was some of the best transfiguration I have ever witnessed in my entire life." Remus had a feeling she wasn't being entirely truthful about that, because they had been taught how to turn inanimate objects into animate ones in third year, but he understood the sentiment.

**o 0 o**

It wasn't until later that they realised someone must have let the Basilisk out from wherever it had been kept dormant. They had found Peter unconscious by the girl's bathroom on the second floor, the old notebook he'd been scribbling in for months clutched in his limp hand, and now they were sitting in Dumbledore's office with the headmaster himself watching them from the other side of the desk.

"That double crossing little -"

"Sirius!"

"I'm going to wring his neck! I'll beat him to a pulp! I'll hex him -"

"Sirius!"

"He's not going to be able to -"

"Mr Black, please, calm down." Sirius finally shut his mouth at Dumbledore's request, but the others could tell he was still seething. "Mr Pettigrew has done a terrible thing today, freeing that beast upon the school. Many students have died, along with Professor Cadwaladr who had been with us for less than a year. But I believe there may be more to this than first meets the eye."

"The slimy bastard -"

"I don't believe that Mr Pettigrew would have had the… talents required to direct the beast on his own," Dumbledore continued as if Sirius hadn't even spoken.

"What are you saying?" James asked hesitantly. None of them really wanted to believe that Peter had willingly unleashed a Basilisk on Hogwarts. He was their best friend, and even if he had been a pain the last few months it was hardly his fault. To think that he was capable of such a heinous act, to think that he wasn't really on the same side of this war as they were – James would have trusted Peter with his life this morning, and now he was questioning whether he could trust Peter at all. If Dumbledore had an out, they would take it immediately.

"There are many dark things in this world, as I believe you three are well aware," Dumbledore looked down at them over his half-moon spectacles, a small smile creasing his features. Remus shifted in his seat and Sirius was actually silent for once. "This book," he lifted a small black notebook that the boys immediately recognised as the journal Peter had been writing in since before the fire, "is very interesting indeed."

"You… read Peter's diary?" James asked, slightly horrified.

"No, no, my dear boy," Dumbledore assured him. "I couldn't, even if I had wanted to. See, the book is empty," he opened the book, flipping through the pages to demonstrate the truth of his statement.

"But… Peter's been writing in there for months," Remus didn't understand. "How can it be empty?"

"Ah," Dumbledore closed the book again and peered at the three Marauders. "That is a very good question, Mr Lupin. How indeed…" he tapped his long fingers against the cover of the book thoughtfully. Eventually, once all of the boys had given up on him continuing, he spoke again. "I think you might need this book, if you are to complete your mission."

"What mission?" Sirius asked immediately, looking straight to Remus who turned red.

"I didn't tell him anything!"

"We agreed!"

"Remus is telling the truth," Dumbledore quickly assured Sirius. "I have noticed quite a… trend with you four and your agreements. It seems to me that, once made, they are very rarely broken. No, no one told me anything. However, I have been considering the possibility that Voldemort may have created Horcruxes for a long time, and when Mrs Cole contacted me and told me she had a young man asking about Tom Riddle, I realised immediately from her description that it was you." Dumbledore looked at Remus who realised that Mrs Cole must have been the name of the elderly woman at the orphanage. "I wondered what could possibly have driven you to seek out Lord Voldemort," Remus went slightly pale at that, realising how it must have looked, but Dumbledore continued to speak, "and headed to Little Hangleton myself to see what it might have been you were looking for. When I found the empty box inside the Gaunt place, I realised you were doing what I should have begun years ago instead of researching and making excuses as to why it could wait." He fell silent, fingers running over the cover of Peter's journal, eyes looking at something none of the boys could see.

"And…" James prompted eventually.

"Ah, yes." Dumbledore looked at each of the boys and smiled again, "I think this diary will be of interest to you as you continue your journey. And Lupin, I trust you gathered what you came for?"

Remus's hand went to the bag at his feet and he nodded.

"Good, good, very good." Dumbledore stood, "now, I think it is time you three went and saw how Mr Pettigrew is going, don't you?"

"But you -" Sirius began, but they were already being ushered out of the office. The door closed solidly behind them and Sirius sighed. "Didn't really tell us anything."


	9. Chapter 9

The Hospital Wing was crowded.

Remus was used to spending time in the sterile rooms, recuperating from the full moon in one of the uncomfortable beds, but he had never seen it packed with this many people. Every bed was filled with at least one student – some with two or three – petrified and staring blankly at the ceiling. Professor Sprout was waiting for the years Mandrake crops to mature so that the petrified students could be woken, but Madam Pomfrey was nonetheless rushed off her feet. Those students who weren't petrified were sitting in chairs or on beds, nursing various wounds probably received due to spells deflecting off the Basilisk's dragon-like scales. The overall effect was a wonderful cacophony of sound – students swapping war stories, students crying or moaning in pain, potions bubbling in the goblets that were being handed out, professors yelling for calm and trying to arrange the injured students into some kind of order so they could be treated according to the severity of their injuries – a symphony of grief and mourning; a chaos that Remus had never seen before. If it weren't for the chaos they probably wouldn't have even been able to get in, but Madam Pomfrey had too much on her mind to notice Remus, James and Sirius weaving their way through the mass of students and staff to find Peter.

His bed was squeezed between a petrified first year with frizzy hair and glasses and a fifth year nursing a broken arm. Peter looked very small amongst the blankets he had pulled to his chin as they crowded in around him. Huge eyes peered up at them, watching and waiting for one of them to make the first move.

"Hey," James said. It seemed a little inadequate for a greeting in such circumstances, but there wasn't really a set code for how to go about these things so 'hey' was going to have to do. Perhaps he could have been more eloquent, or started with an elaborate display of affection – but it would have been forced and fake and superfluous.

"Hi," Peter replied cautiously. The colour seemed to have been sucked from his skin, his usually ruddy cheeks as pale as parchment. Even his eyes seemed to have lost their colour, watery and grey.

"You okay?" James did care, but the words still felt flat on his tongue. The sound of the students Peter had put in the Hospital Wing echoed too loudly in his ears – and the silence from those who hadn't made it that far even louder – but Peter didn't notice the lacklustre tone, his eyes fixed on the diary that Remus still had in his hand.

"Get rid of that," he hissed.

"What?" Remus stared. The diary felt light in his hands, just a book. It was hard to think of it as something that could have (however indirectly) caused all of the chaos currently surrounding them. People had  _died._  Maybe it was his imagination, but the wails of the other students seemed to grow louder.

"Burn it." Peter's voice sounded strange, harsh and weak at the same time. Like something was holding him back, crushing him down, choking the words before they could escape from his throat.

James turned to Remus. "Do you think Dumbledore might have meant the diary belongs to -" he hesitated. "You know…"

Remus looked down at the book, wondered if his hands should feel different for touching it. "I think he strongly implied it."

"So… if we destroy it…" Sirius trailed off. They were all remembering how wearing the diadem had affected James so many months ago. He had only worn it for a moment; Peter had been writing in the diary for months. It seemed quite possible that any soul fragment that may have been present inside the diary might have been able to attach itself to Peter, to corrupt him – possess him – and make him do its bidding.

Scary, how such an outlandish and horrible thing could seem logical to them now.

"We can't destroy it here," Remus said. "If it really is, then the only way we can destroy it is with the -" he glanced over his shoulder and shrugged. "We'd need to go somewhere private." A room crowded with people wasn't the best place to discuss plans for destroying a Horcrux, even if they were all fairly distracted.

"Come on, Pete," James tugged at the blanket Peter was still hugging to his chest. "Let's get you out of here."

"Madam Pomfrey will not let him out when he looks like this," Remus pointed out. He knew from experience. "And even with this many patients, she'll see us trying to get out the door."

"You have the cloak?" Sirius looked at James. Remus wondered why he hadn't thought of that.

"Of course."

"Moony and I will find a room." Sirius pulled the map out of his pocket, shoving it at James. "Find us on there once you're out." With that, he grabbed Remus's arm and dragged him away, leaving James to cloak Peter and sneak him out of the Hospital Wing.

**o 0 o**

They gathered in an empty classroom. The door was locked, and Remus had cast a few charms so that no one outside the room would be able to hear anything that was happening inside. The diadem had died without a fight, but it hadn't been given a chance to fight. No one knew what to expect from the diary.

"I think Peter should be the one to do it," James said.

"Can you?" Remus asked, looking at Peter.

"Yes," Peter was adamant. "I want to."

Peter was unsteady on his feet, so pale that Remus was worried he was going to faint.

"Okay."

Remus chucked the diary onto the floor in front of Peter before kneeling to search through the backpack.

"Accio fang," he said, wand out, and the Basilisk fang flew into his hand. He held it out to Peter who stared at him for a few moments before taking it in his own shaking hand.

"You sure you can do this?" Sirius asked sceptically.

"Yes," Peter insisted. But he didn't move, standing there with a Basilisk fang in one hand and staring at the diary as if it was going to fly up and attack him.

Remus realised they were all standing in a ring around the diary, and Peter was the only one without his wand drawn. If he hadn't had a Basilisk fang in his hand instead, he probably would have felt really vulnerable.

He looked like he felt really vulnerable anyway.

"This year, maybe?" James prompted.

Peter moved forward, kneeling in front of the diary and lifting the fang over his head, but before he could bring it down into the book a voice spoke.

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

Peter froze. The boy now standing in front of them was roughly their age, maybe a few years younger. He was tall, taller than James and much taller than Peter, but he didn't seem quite substantial, almost as if he was blurred around the edges.

"Remember what we talked about?" Riddle asked, for it was he who stood before them, an indistinct figure in the mist. "Remember our plans?" He took a step forward, and Remus could have sworn he was slowly coming in and out of focus with the indecision etched across Peter's face.

"Pete," Sirius started, but James put a hand on his elbow and he fell silent. It was Peter's battle, Peter's demons – they needed to let Peter do this on his own. Remus felt a sick turning in his gut when he realised they'd all have to go through this at some stage, their own personal little nightmares tailored to destroy them.

"How far will you get without me?" Riddle continued pleasantly, and it wasn't their imagination anymore – he was solidifying before their eyes. "Don't give up on your dreams, Pettigrew… you have it in you to be great. Think of the difference you could make." Slowly Remus realised that as Riddle became more substantial, Peter's face lost more colour and his grip on the fang loosened. As Riddle grew stronger, Peter grew weaker – he was feeding off his indecision, drawing him in. The longer Peter took to decide, the less likely it was he would destroy the diary.

"How are they," Riddle indicated James, Remus and Sirius with a disdainful gesture of his hand and slight wrinkling of his nose, "going to protect you? Come to me, and I will make sure you never have to fear again." Peter had all but put the fang down now. Sirius looked at James, searching for permission to intervene. "What have they ever done for you? They're cowards and bullies; they're nothing. They laugh at you, they've never respected you. They'd be glad for a chance to leave you behind."

"That's not true," Sirius said heatedly, and when James didn't stop him he continued. "Don't listen to him, Peter. He's lying! He's the one who doesn't respect you!"

"Think of all the times they've insulted you, have they ever said anything nice about you?" Riddle's voice stayed light, pleasant. "Called you stupid? Fat? Slow? Poor little Peter, can't keep up with the rest of the year. No one ever looks at what you're good at, do they? I can help you show them all the mistakes they've made in throwing you aside."

Peter slowly tore his eyes off Riddle and turned to Remus. Remus was the only one who had never made a point of making him feel like an idiot, even if he'd never much stood up to James and Sirius when they did. Peter hated him, a little. He hated all of them a little, though right now that hate felt like it was consuming him. He hated James and Sirius for always being better at everything, for rubbing it in his face if he struggled, and he hated Remus for letting them.

"You know we respect you," Remus said calmly, though inside his stomach was tying itself in knots. "We don't think you're stupid," he paused, carefully not glancing at the other boys even though he wanted to. "I don't think you're stupid. You're top of the class in potions, which is one of the hardest subjects there is. You were an Animagus at fifteen, not many Wizards  _ever_  master that kind of magic – I never could." Another pause, longer than the last, as Remus gathered his courage to say what he really needed to say. If he'd thought he had felt sick before he was wrong. The rising nausea made it difficult to speak. "I let James and Sirius say the shit they say because I'm scared to stand up to them, scared they'll say it to me too. I let them, because I am a coward, yes. Maybe Riddle is right, on that point. I'm a coward and they are bullies. But he's wrong when he says we think you're stupid, wrong when he says we don't care, wrong when he says we don't respect you."

Peter's fingers slowly closed around the fang, but he didn't look away from Remus. "If you're a coward, and they're bullies, why should I be friends with you?"

"Because that's not all we are." Remus couldn't tear his gaze away from Peter's. "That's not – we're not – it doesn't define us. We're more than that, and less than that. Just like you're more than this – you don't need us to define you any more than you need Voldemort to define you."

Peter contemplated this, sweat beading across his upper lip.

"We're your friends, Peter. Your best friends." James spoke up. "Sure, we tease you. Remus is right, as usual. Sirius and I can both be right gits. But we do love you, really. You're a part of us, a Marauder - what would we be without you?"

"Well, this is all very touching," Riddle interrupted finally. He'd been watching the scene with an amused curl to his lips, and as he stepped toward Peter they could all see he'd solidified further during their exchange. "Empty platitudes worthy only of a cheap romance novel, sure; but if that's your thing…"

Peter was facing Riddle again, his face nearly grey. It was almost as if Riddle was sucking the life and colour out of Peter before their very eyes, as Riddle gained in strength, Peter continued to fade.

"Come on, Wormy." Sirius whispered.

It was almost like a trigger, Peter drew the fang up above his head and down into the centre of the diary before any of them had even seen him make the decision. The sound that ripped from the pages was unimaginable; they all clasped their hands over their ears as Riddle wailed and vanished before them. Ink spilled from the book, rivers of it, covering Peter's hands and the floor, soaking into his clothes.

There was thick silence for a few moments, everyone staring at the ruined diary and waiting for someone else to speak.

"Well," Peter said eventually, the word hanging suspended in the air before them.

"I think we'll leave the ring for later," James suggested slowly.

"Yes," no one was really sure who had spoken, but it was on all of their tongues.

**o 0 o**

Once Peter had regained some colour and a little strength, they left the castle. Not out of any great desire to continue their quest as soon as possible, but rather an inexplicable need to press onwards. With a few hours between them and Hogwarts they set up camp.

It was starting to get dark already, and they were all cold, starving and tired so it was a relief to settle inside the warmth of the tent. No one was talking about what had happened earlier that afternoon, their conversation dancing around anything that was actually worth talking about and consisting mainly of the weather and the thickness of the snow underfoot. It was easier than facing the things they had said.

They had replenished their food supply from the Hogwarts kitchen before they'd left the castle, so over a dinner of roast lamb and potatoes they started trying to figure out what to do next.

"I was thinking," Remus said, pausing to eat a forkful of beans before continuing. "When I was at the orphanage, Mrs Cole said something about a cave on a beach that they took the kids to for holidays. She said that Riddle did something to two of the other kids, they were pretty traumatised afterwards. It mightn't be of any significance, but it's just been… I keep thinking of it, so I thought I'd, I don't know, say something."

"She didn't happen to say what the beach was called, did she?" James asked. "Because that would be helpful. I mean, if it's just a hunch, I don't want to walk around the entire circumference of the United Kingdom."

"I hardly think that would be necessary," Remus replied testily. "It wouldn't be too far from the Orphanage, they didn't look like they had much money so I doubt they'd take the kids anywhere too far away."

"Good point," James conceded. "So, we go back to the orphanage and look from there?"

"I' we're goi' back 'o 'e Or'anage anyway," Peter interjected with a mouthful of potato, "why 'on't we 'ust ask tha' woman?"

The other three stared at him. He swallowed, and repeated himself. "If we're going back there anyway, why don't we just ask her which beach it was?"

"Because that would make too much sense, Pete. Don't go getting all logical on us now," Sirius said, rolling his eyes.

"So we'll head for the Orphanage tomorrow, then?" James asked.

"Yeah." They all agreed. The rest of the meal was accompanied only by stupid jokes and pointless anecdotes, and they were all in their bunks not long after sundown, completely drained by the events of the day.

**o 0 o**

"I am sorry," Peter said sombrely. "I never realised, when I was writing in that diary, what would happen."

It was cold, and they were lost, and somehow the conversation had brought them right to where none of them wanted it to go.

"Never trust something that can think for itself if you can't see where it keeps its brain," James said, tucking his frozen hands further into his pockets. The snow on the ground was a dirty grey, the buildings around them anonymous and unfamiliar. It had seemed like an easy enough task, Apparate to Diagon Alley and then walk to muggle London from there – except none of them could remember where the Orphanage was.

"We trust the map," Sirius pointed out.

"We made the map."

"Well, I thought the diary understood me," Peter sighed. "It sounds stupid, but I would write in it, and it would write back. I was just so angry at you, especially Sirius, and hurting. It helped me through that."

"By fostering that anger and turning you against us!" Sirius wasn't impressed. It was starting to snow, flakes dissolving before they hit the ground.

"What it said made sense," Peter sighed. "I tried throwing it away a few times, there was always some part of me that realised something wasn't quite right, but it would always end up back in my bunk. I even threw it in the fire one night."

"It was a Horcrux," Remus said. "Of course you couldn't destroy it. And give him a break, Padfoot. Voldemort designed the diary to gain control of anyone who possessed it; it would have done the same to any of us."

"You didn't think it was suspicious?" Sirius asked Peter. The wind was starting to pick up, blowing the falling snow into their faces. It stung like tiny daggers against their skin.

"I didn't think of it at all."

"Where did you get it, anyway?" James wondered.

"I found it," Peter admitted. "In my coat, after we left the orphanage."

"In your coat?" Remus was confused. "How could it have gotten there?"

"Malfoy," Sirius said darkly as the realisation dawned on him. "He's the only one who was close enough to us. Slimy bastard probably slipped it into Pete's coat when we were talking outside Borgin and Burkes."

"Wait, Malfoy? Why would he have one of Voldemort's Horcruxes?"

"He's always been a git," Sirius said. "I bet he's working for Voldemort."

"Why the hell would he put it in Wormy's coat though, if he knew it was a Horcrux?"

Sirius laughed. "Do you really think Voldemort would tell him what it was? He probably knew it would make Peter hate us, and thought that would be funny. And if he knew that it was what caused the Basilisk attack at Hogwarts he'd be over the moon."

Remus frowned, pushing his hair out of his eyes. "But he's your cousin, Pads. Do you really think he'd -"

"He's not really my cousin," Sirius reminded him. "He just married my cousin. And you know what my family are like, Moony. Stop trying to give him the benefit of the doubt – he doesn't deserve it. None of them do."

Remus didn't reply, crossing his arms against the wind and walking on. The silence stretched, broken only by the sounds of muggle London.

Eventually James spoke again. "Does that building look familiar to you?"

"They all look the same to me," Peter sighed.

"No, he's right." Remus stopped abruptly and Sirius ran straight into him, nearly toppling them both into the snow. "Look."

The orphanage had never looked like much. An old building that hadn't been cared for as it should have, not quite falling down but not quite safe. Now, it was gone. A construction site stood in its place, tarps covering the concrete and weighed down with old snow.

"Shit." Remus swore, kicking at the ground. "Fucking shit. She told me it was being torn down, fuck."

"Remus -"

"You let us come all this way when you  _knew_  it had been torn down?" Sirius sounded incredulous.

"I forgot!" Remus could have kicked himself, but as he couldn't he settled for kicking the dirty snow again and spinning around, hands fisted in his hair. "What are we going to do now?"

"We could… uh… just head for the nearest beach… I guess…" Peter was obviously struggling to remain calm. Remus didn't blame them for being mad though, he wanted to murder himself. How could he forget?

He froze.

It was a stupid idea. He hadn't used a payphone since he visited London with his mother's family as a child. He didn't have any muggle money on him, and James, Peter and Sirius wouldn't have known a telephone if it came out and tapped them on the shoulder. But the bright red booth had caught his eye, and the snow piled around the door made it obvious it hadn't been used for at least a few hours.

"We could," he began slowly. "Try calling her." Before the others could ask what he was talking about, he made his way to the box, tugging on the door and then kicking at the snow to get it open. Eventually, he pulled it open and stepped inside, the others attempting to follow him in but finding it far too cramped.

"Bloody muggles, they make everything so small on the inside," James complained.

"It's a phone-box, James. They're only supposed to fit one person. You're standing on my foot. Sod off and wait outside."

"What are you even doing?" Sirius grumbled from the cold outside. That was one bonus about the phone-box – he was out of the wind.

"I'm going to try and call the woman who worked there," he said, picking up the telephone directory included in the cramped box. James hadn't moved off his foot yet, and Peter was half inside too. Then he encountered the fourth major issue with his idea – there were about a thousand Cole's in the directory. "Shit."

"Moony, do you really know what you're doing?" James asked. "Because I have to be honest – it doesn't seem like you-oof." Remus had finally shoved him off his foot and he stumbled back into the wall.

"I'm going to have to try all of them," he sighed, pulling out a handful of knuts from one pocket and his wand from the other. He was relying on the fact that muggles weren't going to guard their machines from magic, and while he had no idea how to affect the electronics with a spell, he did know how to transfigure the wizard money so it was the same shape and weight as the muggle money he needed.

"Try all of them?" James laughed. "Remus, you're a wizard." He pulled his wand from his jeans and flicked it at the directory Remus had put to the side. The pages flicked over and then came to rest. "Here." James read out the number that his wand was pointing to.

"Wait, wait," Remus swore as he tried to slot the coins into the machine. "Read it again."

James complied and Remus soon found himself listening to the brr brr of the phone in his ear as it rang. That was about when he realised he had no idea what he was going to say to the woman, but by then she had answered.

"Hello?"

"Hello? I'm – er are you the Mrs Cole who worked at uh… Wool's orphanage?"

"Yes. Who is calling?" She sounded drunk, which made Remus slightly more optimistic that this might actually work.

"Hi. I'm, I spoke to you a few months ago at the orphanage, I was looking for my father's friend?"

"I'm sure you were," she replied. Remus realised she didn't remember him, but he forged on all the same.

"Well, uh, you told me then that there was an incident at the beach you took the children to on their holiday, and I was wondering if you could tell me -"

"Where it is? Sure, kid. Not much to see there, though." Remus didn't care. When he hung up he had general directions, easily enough to find them the beach.

"That was awesome!" James cried once Remus had put the receiver back on the wall. "How do they do that without magic?"

**o 0 o**

It was nothing new, really. Just more walking, more trees, more arguments, more pointless conversations. The full moon came while they were in the middle of nowhere, and brought them all to a halt. Remus was too ill to move for three days prior and when the moon sank the next morning he woke covered in blood.

"Moony," the voice sounded quiet compared to the ringing in his ears. "Moony. Remus. Wake up." He gritted his teeth, not wanting to open his eyes. "Remus." It was an effort, opening lids that were sealed together with a congealed mess of blood, but he managed it.

"Shit, Remus," James swam into focus. "Merlin. Pete have you got the- thanks," he took the dittany Peter had handed him and tilted Remus's head back with a surprisingly gentle hand under his chin. The potion burned as it hit the open wound on his forehead, and Remus hissed at the pain.

"Is it going to scar?" Sirius's voice. Remus had closed his eyes again and couldn't pinpoint where he was.

"I don't know if he did it to himself or on something else," James replied. "I didn't see."

"Me neither." Peter.

"The dittany will help." James released Remus's chin and stepped away. A few seconds later something cold touched his cheek and he flinched.

"Shh," it was Sirius again, closer now. "Just cleaning you up." He sat still, teeth still clenched as Sirius carefully cleaned the blood off his face with a damp cloth. As he was slowly becoming more alert, he realised he was leaning up against a tree. Someone must have pulled him up there, he was sure he'd been lying down when he'd first come back into his own body.

"Where?" he asked, and Sirius caught on quickly enough that he didn't have to elaborate.

"We're a few miles from the camp," he told him. "We lost you, just before dawn. Took us a while to find you, even as Padfoot. Not sure how long you'd been lying there."

"It's okay," Remus said.

"Yeah," Sirius replied, cleaning the last of the blood off Remus's face. "You're going to need to bathe, it's all over you." Remus glanced down at himself and saw that someone had wrapped a blanket around him at some point. Whether to protect him from the cold or to preserve whatever dignity he may or may not have left he wasn't sure – but he was still thankful.

"Yeah."

Sirius helped him to his feet, lead him back to the campsite. They'd set up near a stream, and even though it was freezing Remus headed to it once he had found some clothes. The cold pulled him back into himself, and he felt more alert once he was clean and dressed, though still dizzy.

"Sit," Sirius had appeared beside him, but he must have been there for a while or Remus would have heard him coming. "You need a bandage on that, or else you'll start bleeding again." Remus did as he was told.

**o 0 o**

They were forced to stay in the camp for another two nights before Remus was steady enough to press onwards. Even then they probably should have waited at least a week, but time just wasn't on their side. Every hour they spent sitting in camp throwing rocks at the icy river was an hour their friends might be dying. James hadn't been able to find any information on Lily while they'd been at Hogwarts and the guilt of idleness was all consuming. Remus still needed to pause at times to throw up in the bushes, and he wasn't moving as fast as he usually could, but Sirius kept a close eye on him and they made slow progress.

As they walked, the terrain changed around them. Over the next few days the woods gave way to open grass and jagged cliff tops, and soon the sound of waves crashing onto rocks reached their ears.

"I think we're there," James said one afternoon as they drew to a halt. The sun beat down on them, warming their skin through the chill in the air, and the sound of gulls floated up on the breeze from the small beach below.

"How on earth are we going to get down there?" Peter asked. He had walked to the edge of the cliff and was peering down. The sand was muddy, the water looked cold and fierce, and the cliff face was sheer.

"I guess we just walk along here for a bit, there should be a path or something," Remus said. He wasn't really sure that there would be, but one could hope.

It seemed as good a plan as any, so they started to walk again, keeping the shoreline in view and checking over the edge to see if there was any sign of a pathway or track. Before they could get very far though, Sirius stopped short.

"Kreacher?" He said, voice a mixture of surprise and disgust. "What are you doing here?"


	10. Chapter 10

Perhaps by now they should have learned to expect the unexpected. Even so, 'unexpected' didn't even begin to cover nearly stumbling over the Black House-Elf on the top of a cliff in the middle of nowhere. Nonetheless, it was definitely Kreacher standing before them.

For his part, Kreacher looked just as confused to see them there. There was a moment where every line in the folds of skin that made up his ugly face was wrought with indecision, the desire to simply disappear without responding warring with his duty to obey. But a master's orders are a House-Elf's highest law and Sirius was technically his master, so after hesitating for long enough to land just this side of subordinance he turned his grimy face up to the boys.

"Yes, Master?"

"What in Merlin's name are you doing here?" Sirius did not splutter because Sirius never spluttered, but in his surprise and confusion he came close.

Kreacher dragged one of his feet through the thick grass, twisting his body so he was facing down, away from Sirius, submission in every inch of his form but his bloodshot eyes. "Kreacher cannot tell Master Sirius, Kreacher cannot."

"Cannot," Sirius did splutter now. "I'm ordering you to tell me!"

The House-Elf's already ugly face contorted further. "Kreacher cannot! Master Regulus made Kreacher swear he would not tell!"

"Regulus - Regulus sent you out here?" That gave Sirius pause. "Why did Regulus send you here?" He demanded.

"Kreacher came with Master Regulus," Kreacher allowed. Sirius growled. This was going to be like pulling teeth. In fact he'd half a mind but even he was aware that might be going a little too far.

"Where is he then?"

"Master Regulus is dead." Fat tears streaked Kreacher's face. The only way Sirius could describe the feeling in his chest was that it was like the time he'd fallen off his broom during Quidditch practice. He couldn't breathe.

"Sirius," James touched his arm but Sirius jerked away from him.

"How?" Sirius demanded, grabbing Kreacher by the shoulders and shaking him. "What happened?"

"Kreacher can't say, Master Regulus ordered him to never tell."

"You have to tell me!" Sirius was furious, shaking the Elf so violently that Kreacher's chin hit his chest, teeth clicking together before his head was whipped backwards by the force Sirius was exerting on his frail body. "You have to tell me!" There were hands on his shoulders now, hauling him away from the House-Elf with unusual strength. He struggled to reach him again, shouting, demanding that the Elf tell him what had happened; but whoever had him held him tightly, not letting go even when Sirius's head made contact with their chin. He didn't know how long he was held but eventually the blind fury passed and he stopped struggling.

"Tell him to stop." It was Remus's voice in his ear. Not surprising; neither of the other boys had that strength. Sirius didn't know what he meant for a moment, but then he realised Kreacher was slamming his head repeatedly into the ground, punishing himself for disobeying a direct order from his master.

"Kreacher, stop." Sirius wasn't entirely sure whether he said it because watching the Elf hurt himself like that made him sick, or if it was the flatness in Remus's voice that had caused the twisting in his stomach. Actually, he had a feeling it was the latter, and that worried him a little. Regardless, Kreacher ceased his self abuse, resting his forehead against the grass and sniffling loudly, bruise already forming across his pale skin.

"Ask him if he could tell James." Remus's voice was still flat, empty in that dangerous kind of way that meant he was ready to explode but knew that now wasn't the time or place. Sirius went to protest, but Remus's fingers tightened against his arms and he changed his mind.

"Can you tell James?"

Kreacher lifted his head and Sirius felt Remus's grip tighten again. The Elf's bulbous nose was crooked, blood and green mucus smeared across his face, eyes still full of tears. "Master Regulus said not to tell any of the family," he said grudgingly.

"So he can. Order him to tell James as soon as you are out of earshot."

Sirius's glance flicked up to James who was watching him from the other side of Kreacher.

"Kreacher, I am going to walk away. As soon as I am out of ear shot you are going to tell James everything he wants to know. That is a direct order." Sirius said, as instructed.

"Yes, Master Sirius," Kreacher intoned.

Sirius had expected Remus to come with him while James and Peter spoke to Kreacher, but he didn't. After letting his hands drop from Sirius's arms, Remus didn't so much as glance at him, turning his attention to James instead. It was typical Remus language for 'I don't like what you just did but it's not my place to tell you so and even if it was now is not the time'. Well who bloody cared what Remus thought, Kreacher was his House-Elf, he could do whatever he damn well wanted to him. Sirius turned away himself, trying not to stomp like a toddler throwing a tantrum as he walked down the shoreline.

Once Sirius was gone, James turned to Kreacher who was still sprawled pathetically on the ground.

"Er, you can sit up," he said, not really sure how to speak to someone else's House-Elf, especially not one who looked as pitiful as Kreacher did right now. Kreacher sat up though, and James ran his hand through his hair and glanced over at Remus. Remus shook his head and James sighed, looking back down at Kreacher. Apparently he was on his own for this. Peter had already wandered a few steps away, still watching but obviously not wanting to be included.

"Tell me what happened to Regulus," James said.

"Master Regulus drank the potion," Kreacher said, and then started wailing again.

"Perhaps you should get him to start from the start," Remus suggested stiffly, pacing in James's peripheral vision. James could almost feel the anger radiating off Remus, though he couldn't blame him after Sirius's little display. But that wasn't what was keeping him from helping directly, and James understood that immediately. Even if Remus wanted to tear Sirius's head off and feed him to a Manticore he would still help if he was needed. The reason he was refusing to directly interact with Kreacher had far more to do with the House-Elf's general attitude towards anyone who was not a pureblood than it did with Remus's mood. James didn't know for sure, but he had a feeling that Remus may have had a run in with the Elf before. It made him angry on behalf of his friend, but now probably wasn't the time to start an argument with a House-Elf over the importance (or non-importance) of blood purity.

"Okay, Kreacher. Tell me the whole story."

"Master Regulus wanted Kreacher to take him to the cave where Kreacher had gone with the Dark Lord-"

"What?" James interrupted. Sirius had said that his brother had gotten involved with the Death Eaters, but for some reason even when they were talking about his death James hadn't expected Voldemort to make an appearance in the conversation.

"The Dark Lord needed an Elf, and Master Regulus volunteered Kreacher, you see, it was an honour, said Master Regulus, an honour for him and for Kreacher. Miss Bellatrix was to be honoured, too, and Lucius, Master Regulus was proud to be among them. Master Regulus said Kreacher must do whatever the Dark Lord ordered him to do and then," Kreacher hiccuped around a sob, "and then come home." He was rocking on the spot now, the tears flowing down his face again. James had to look away for a moment to recover his composure.

"And what did he order you to do?" he asked eventually.

"He took Kreacher with him to a cave beside the sea, and in the cavern was a great black lake. There was a boat. The Dark Lord took Kreacher to a basin full of potion and he m-made Kreacher drink it." Kreacher was shaking as he rocked, sobs breaking free between his words. "Kreacher's insides burned. He cried for Master Regulus to save him, for Mistress Black, but the Dark Lord made him drink all of the potion." The Elf's breath was rasping in and out of his lungs as he sobbed. "He put a locket in the empty basin and then filled it with more… potion and then he sailed away, leaving Kreacher on… the island. Kreacher needed water, he crawled to the island's edge and he drank from the black lake and hands… hands, dead hands came from the water and dragged… Kreacher under… the… surface." Kreacher stopped, the sobs that were wracking his body too violent for him to continue speaking. James waited, giving him time to pull himself together but also giving himself time to process what the House-Elf was saying. The locket. They needed that locket, it had to be Slytherin's locket, the Horcrux they were looking for.

Eventually the sobs subsided and Kreacher continued, voice steadier than it had been before. "Master Regulus told Kreacher to come back, so Kreacher did. And Master Regulus was very worried. He told Kreacher to stay hidden and not leave the house. And then, a while later, Master Regulus asked Kreacher to take him to the cave where Kreacher had gone with the Dark Lord.

James had an awful feeling he knew where this was going and he was glad Sirius wasn't there to hear it firsthand, even if that meant someone would have to repeat it to him later.

"Master Regulus gave Kreacher a locket like the one that the Dark Lord had," Kreacher said. "And he told Kreacher to take it, and when the basin was empty, to switch the lockets. And then he ordered Kreacher to leave without him and never to tell the family what happened in the cave… He said Kreacher had to destroy the first locket and then he drank the potion and Kreacher swapped the lockets and watched as Master Regulus was dragged beneath the water." The steadiness he had gained was gone now and he was rocking so violently he looked in danger of falling over.

"Kreacher, we need that locket," James said softly.

"No! Master Regulus said Kreacher was to destroy it!"

"I know," James had no idea how he was going to convince Kreacher to hand over the locket. "But it's not possible for you to destroy it. It can only be destroyed by one thing, Kreacher, and I have that thing. If you give the locket to me, we can destroy it. If you take it now you will never be able to fulfil your promise to Regulus.

Kreacher looked torn. "You're lying," he hissed.

"I'm not. Why would I lie? Please, Kreacher." When the House-Elf just stared at him, eyes full of distrust, James added, "it's the only way to make sure Regulus didn't die in vain."

It worked. Somehow, it worked. Kreacher handed over the locket not without a large degree of reluctance but when James tried to offer him something to eat he shook his head. "Kreacher must return to Mistress Black," he said, and Disapparated with a crack.

"We have the locket, then." Peter said, after the silence had stretched out and settled with a disconcerting permanence.

"Yes," James agreed, shaking his head. "Yeah. We better go get Sirius."

Sirius was sitting cross legged and tearing up clumps of grass when they reached him. He'd been sitting there for long enough to really feel guilty about the way he'd treated Kreacher, but everything about the House-Elf reminded him of his family and filled him with hatred and contempt. And now Regulus was dead, stupid, soft Regulus who had no chance, really, he'd always believed everything their parents had said, always been so excited to serve Voldemort like their cousins. Regulus was dead, and Sirius missed the boy he'd once been with a burning intensity of feelings he hadn't felt for his brother since he was a child.

"We have the locket," James said, a welcome knife through Sirius's thoughts.

"You- how?"

"Remus will tell you," and James did feel a twinge of guilt when Remus looked at him, amber eyes full of reproach, but there was no way he was going to shoulder that burden himself. Sirius, for his part, glanced at Remus, mouth open ready to demand that he tell him immediately, and then looked away without speaking.

"I think we should set up camp back on the tree line," Peter said, and began walking in that direction. The others followed.

**o 0 o**

Setting up camp didn't take long. They'd done it so many times by now that they could probably do it in their sleep. Everyone was rather quiet though, none of the usual chatter flowing easily between them. Unfortunately, it was an all to familiar quietness, they'd spent far too many days fighting since they'd left Hogwarts almost a year ago.

Remus didn't avoid Sirius, though he considered it. It would have been easy to go for a walk, and let Sirius wait. But as angry as he was at the way Sirius had treated Kreacher, he knew he needed to tell him. They couldn't keep moving forward until Sirius had been brought up to date, and there wasn't enough time for them to waste it sitting around until Remus had talked himself into forgiving Sirius, like everyone (himself included) knew he would.

Sirius, for his part, kept quiet. His need to know what Kreacher had said was like a fire burning inside of his chest, but he didn't even glance at Remus until the other boy approached him. He knew that what he'd done had disgusted Remus (given time to calm down he wasn't too impressed with his own actions either) and he didn't want to see that look in his eyes again just yet.

"Come for a walk?" Remus spoke from behind him. Sirius looked up, hopeful for an instant, but Remus was still upset. The look on his face was controlled, James had said he had to be the one to explain to Sirius, and it had to be done before they could move forward. Remus was fulfilling his duty to the group, not extending an olive branch.

Sirius nodded. "Okay."

They didn't go far, sitting on a convenient fallen tree, slightly more space between them than usual. It was subtle, but deliberate.

The silence stretched as Remus stared at his feet. "He died getting the locket," he said eventually.

"Why would he-"

"No, just. Just let me talk, okay?" Remus exhaled. "He knew about the locket because Voldemort used Kreacher to hide it there. He thought he was special because Voldemort trusted him enough to use his elf. So he let him use Kreacher, but Voldemort left Kreacher to die, and he only got back to Regulus because of the House-Elf magic." It started out as a list of facts, the voice he used when he was explaining the chapter of _A History of Magic_ that Sirius had to write this weeks paper on, but when he continued Remus's voice was softer. "Regulus was upset, and he must have figured out what the locket was, somehow, because he made Kreacher take him to the cave and he died so that they could switch out the locket." He finally looked up from his feet, and the blank façade was all but gone. "He died doing the right thing, Sirius."

"He died a selfish git," Sirius replied, voice hard. "He didn't do it to help the rest of the world, he did it because he was personally offended."

Remus looked at him, not saying a word.

"I know. Okay. I know." Sirius's hands were clenched into fists at his side. "I should have been there for him, but he was just like the rest of them. They're all so obsessed with blood purity and he was soft enough to believe them. I hardly spoke to him after my sorting. It wouldn't have made any difference if I'd tried; Regulus was a Black, through and through. He always wanted to be a Death Eater."

"It's not your fault."

"That's what I am saying, isn't it?" Sirius snapped.

"Yeah," Remus was still watching him and Sirius hated the way he always seemed to be able to see through whatever lies he was being fed. Perhaps it was because he was such a good liar himself, or maybe it was just an innate perceptiveness. Right now it made Sirius want to punch him.

"Sod off, Moony. Get out of my head."

Remus raised his eyebrows and looked away, tilting his head back to stare at the sky. A few minutes passed like that, Sirius watching the line of Remus's throat as he swallowed, before Remus spoke again.

"James wants you to be the one to destroy the locket."

"What? Why?" Sirius hadn't expected that. He'd been waiting for a comment about the way he'd treated Kreacher, he'd been preparing to apologise, he'd almost said sorry anyway.

"Because he was your brother, Sirius. And I don't care how much say you hated him; we can all see that it hurts to know he's gone."

"He was an idiot. Taken in by all of the pureblood mania." Sirius knew Remus could tell his heart wasn't in the protests anymore.

"He was still your brother." Remus looked back at Sirius finally and his eyes were sad.

"Yeah." Sirius exhaled slowly, letting his head fall into his hands.

"He died defying him," Remus said quietly. "He died to make it possible for Voldemort to be killed.

Sirius didn't reply. A few moments later he felt Remus's hand warm against his back, resting between his shoulder blades. Neither of them spoke, not because there was nothing more to be said, but because right now they both needed the silence. Remus watched the clouds pass by overhead and pretended not to know Sirius was crying.

**o 0 o**

"There is one thing Kreacher said," Peter said later that evening. They'd been sitting in their bunks where it was warm and discussing their next move for the last half hour, but no one had come up with anything of use so far. Sirius was quieter than usual, not that anyone blamed him. Remus was sitting beside him, their knees almost touching. Nothing had been said, but some semblance of an apology seemed to have been passed.

"What?" James asked, when Peter didn't immediately elaborate.

"It might be nothing. But he said Regulus was excited to be honoured like Malfoy and Bellatrix."

"So?" Sirius asked. "He always looked up to them."

"Well, we know Malfoy had a Horcrux," Peter's cheeks flushed as he thought of the diary. "He gave it to me. And Regulus's honour was to send Kreacher to hide the locket."

"You think Bellatrix has a Horcrux," Remus was the first to figure out what Peter was getting at.

"Pete, that's genius," James stared at him.

"You don't need to look so surprised," Peter sulked but there was a lightness to it. No one had really noticed how damaged their friendship had become until they'd destroyed the diary and everything started to fall back into place. The diary hadn't created the poison but it had helped it spread, and somehow its destruction had brought them closer than they'd been before it had been dropped into their lives.

"Do you think she has the cup, then?" Sirius asked. "That's the only thing left, right?"

"The only thing we've guessed at that's left," Remus reminded him. "We decided he probably has six, didn't we? The ring, locket, diadem, cup and diary only make five. If we're even right about the cup."

"Bellatrix definitely has something," James asserted, even though minutes ago the thought had never crossed his mind.

"Well she wouldn't keep it at her house," Sirius said. "Too risky."

"Where else would she keep it?"

"Gringotts." Remus sounded so certain that the others stared at him. "Well, it makes sense. If you had something valuable you didn't want anyone to find, Gringotts is the safest place to keep it. Apart from Hogwarts, maybe. But I honestly can't see Bellatrix hiding a Horcrux at Hogwarts."

"Bella  _has_  got a high security vault," Sirius added. "That would make sense; she'd think it was safe there." He tugged at the blankets that were caught under Remus's leg until Remus shifted, allowing him to pull them over his lap to protect his legs from the cold that penetrated the tent.

"Because it is," Peter said dully. "If it's in Gringotts we'll never be able to get it. We can't break into Gringotts. It'd be suicide."

"If it's there, we'll have to."

"You know what else," James said slowly. "When we ran into Malfoy at Borgin and Burkes, he was doing something for Bellatrix. What do you think the chances are that he was organising to move the cup to her vault?"

"I think you're reaching, a bit," Remus admitted. "But I do think that Gringotts is the most likely place for it to be."

"Malfoy would know, anyway," Peter said.

"And you want to what, ask him?" Sirius looked incredulous.

"No, Wormtail has a good point." James stopped Sirius with a look. "I think we're right. It must be there. And it's the only option we have, anyway. We may as well try."

**o 0 o**

The next morning, James gathered them all outside the tent. They had decided to wait until after full moon before heading to Diagon Alley, but James wanted the locket and ring destroyed.

Carrying around a Horcrux was risky. The spell Remus had cast on the bag had seemed to work so far, but then again, had it really? They'd certainly been fighting a lot, even if most of it could be put down to living in such close quarters and in such high stress situations for so long. Nonetheless, the excuse for dragging them across the countryside with them was gone now. They had the means to destroy them, so they may as well get it over with.

That was James's reasoning anyway. The others agreed, of course, but it wasn't as easy as that in the end. When it came down to it, Sirius couldn't do it. The locket dangled from his hand, chain tangled in his fingers, but he shook his head as Remus offered the Basilisk fang.

"No, I can't. Not yet." It wasn't easy for him to admit, but it was easier than going ahead and trying to destroy the locket. Peter's ordeal with Riddle was still too fresh in his mind, and the idea of what the locket might throw at him made him feel sick.

"We can't keep carrying these things around," James objected.

"It won't hurt to wait a little while," Remus interrupted, holding the bag out to Sirius so he could drop the locket back into it. "We can destroy the ring now, and do the locket later.

Sirius swapped the locket for the ring, offering it to James.

"Me?" James asked, surprised.

"Or Moony," Sirius shrugged, looking at Remus. Remus looked at James. Neither of them wanted to, though they knew they all would have to at some point. It wasn't a spoken agreement, exactly, but they had somehow all assumed they'd all have to destroy at least one. It seemed only fair.

"I'll do it," James said, taking the ring from Sirius and glancing around to see where he could rest it. His gaze landed on a suitable rock which he placed the ring on, carefully centring it before looking up at the others. "Do you think it's going to…" he trailed off.

"No idea."

"Okay. Well." James rubbed his hand through his hair and then reached out to take the fang from Remus. "Might as well get it over with."

Perhaps because the diary had known Peter so well, or maybe because the ring wasn't quite prepared for its destruction, there wasn't as much fanfare as there had been with the diary. James lifted the fang, and he must have closed his eyes because he saw Lily for an instant, spreadeagled across a carpeted floor, eyes staring unseeing into space, heard a baby cry, Peter's voice  _you don't understand, he would have killed me,_ Sirius laughing, and then the fang struck the ring, the stone cracked and Sirius caught him as his legs gave way.

"Shit, James," Sirius lowered him to the ground a little too fast.

"I'm fine," James said. He was sitting in the dirt, not entirely sure if Sirius had dropped him or placed him there, and the images he'd seen were still burnt into his brain, but he was fine.

"What happened?" Peter asked.

"You just kind of froze," Remus added.

"I just nothing. It was nothing." If he lived forever he would never be able to get that vision of Lily lying dead on the floor out of his head.

**o 0 o**

They Apparated back to Diagon Alley a week after full moon. It was mid February now, and even with the war raging the streets were full of witches and wizards going about their lives as usual. It made everything seem a little surreal, to see life going on as normal, though the daily prophet was full of reports about muggle deaths and wizards vanishing.

They found an empty flat a few streets away from the bank and broke in. It wasn't much, but considering they weren't paying they couldn't really complain. Remus set up their usual wards, and they dragged the mattresses out of the tent to set up beds in one of the empty rooms. It only took a few days before their possessions were spread about the flat enough to make it feel like a home, however temporary.

It was going to be a suicide mission, at the very least, so they wanted to be sure that they were going to find something before they put their lives on their line for nothing. The only real way to do that was to keep their eyes and ears open, spending far more time in Knockturn Alley than any of them would have liked as they tried to piece together enough evidence to make their hypothetical bank robbery justifiable.

February dragged into March, and the boys had seen Malfoy and even Bellatrix herself in town enough times to gather that yes, there was at least something important in Bellatrix's vault. They were taking their time with their plans, the warning on the doors of the bank seared into all of their minds.  _Enter, stranger, but take heed._ Rushing would result in failure, and failure certainly meant death.

Three days before the next full moon Remus turned nineteen. He'd expected the others to forget, but none of them did. The gifts weren't much, an assortment of sweets from Sugarplum's Sweets Shop and some books from Flourish and Blotts, but he hadn't been expecting anything and he couldn't get the smile off his face. They didn't take the day off from their reconnaissance mission, but they did make the time for an ice-cream at Florean Fortescue's to celebrate the occasion.

Full moon itself fell on a Tuesday, and it wasn't pretty. It had been a long time since Remus had been forced to spend the night in an enclosed space, and even though they cast charms all over the room to soundproof it the others couldn't believe the amount of noise he made. The mess the next morning had Remus repeating apologies for hours, even as Sirius tried to clean the numerous wounds he'd managed to give himself. It wasn't the worst night he'd ever had, but it wasn't the best.

It took over a week for Remus to be well enough to leave the flat, and he spent most of that time in bed. Sirius sat with him, and they used the time well, managing to work out a semblance of a plan while James and Peter were out on the streets trying to gather more information. It was scribbled on cheap parchment, and it wasn't complete, but it was the best they had so far and probably the best they were going to come up with.

They all sat around the small table in the kitchen of the flat. Remus was still paler than usual and he leant too heavily on the table, but he was looking and feeling far better than he had and he was the one to outline what they'd managed to decide on for the others.

"If we go in pretending we want to visit Sirius's vault, we can get ourselves past the entrance and into one of the carts." Remus had visited Gringotts with Sirius only once before, but he would never forget the harrowing experience of the cart ride down to the vault. "The higher security vaults are opened by the Goblin's touch, not with a key, so it won't matter that we've told the Goblin's upstairs that we're heading for a different vault, I hope. Then," he scrunched his face, twisting his mouth to the side and taking a breath. "Then we're going to have to use the Imperious curse, I can't think of any other way."

"On the goblin?" James asked.

"On the goblin, yes. Once we're… in control of it, we just tell it to go to Bellatrix's vault instead of Sirius's. Use the goblin to get past whatever security is outside the vault and get the vault open. Then we'll need to think on our feet in case she has extra security in the vault itself."

"She will. It's Bellatrix." Sirius added helpfully.

"Okay, but we can't really plan for it if we don't know what it's going to be. We'll just have to deal with that when we get there. Anyway, even if we assume we manage to get the cup, then we'll need to get back out of the bank."

"How?" Peter asked. This was as far as he'd heard of the plan so far, and he wasn't all that optimistic that they'd managed to come up with a decent solution yet.

"This is the fun bit," Sirius grinned. Remus didn't look so enthusiastic.

"We tell the goblin to take us to Sirius's vault. When we're nearly there can you even tell when you're nearly there? Once we think we might be nearly there, I guess, we need to use a false memory charm and remove the curse. Let him take us to Sirius's vault and then let him take us out."

"Can you do that?" James asked. "The memory charm, I mean."

"I may have tried it before," Remus said, a little ambiguously.

"Successfully?" James pressed.

"Yes."

"Okay."

"Okay?" Peter stared at them. "That sounds too simple, what if you don't get it in time? What if we run into another goblin? What if they know someone has broken into Bellatrix's vault and they're looking for us?"

"Merlin's beard, Wormtail. If we run into another goblin, we charm them too. If they know someone has broken into a vault they won't just know it is us, we'll have a goblin with us who will tell them it wasn't us."

"I don't know."

"It's not perfect," Remus said. "We're still working on it, Pete. We'll get there."

"Eventually," James sighed, leaning his face in his hands elbows pressed against the kitchen table. "Eventually."

**o 0 o**

James got Quidditch books and chocolate frogs for his birthday and they laughed and joked their way through half a bottle of Firewhisky that night. It was almost nice to forget about the war for a moment, even if it made their heads hurt the next morning. The surveillance of the bank continued, ultimately proving invaluable as they tried to figure out the best time to strike. In the end, they decided on a Friday, watching the flow of people to determine when there was enough that they wouldn't be remembered, but not too much so as to leave them waiting for too long. Everything was coming together nicely; however, after weeks of organising things, everything suddenly threatened to fall apart.

"We have to do it this Friday." James threw the Daily Prophet onto the floor when he walked into the kitchen.

"What?" Peter stopped, biscuit halfway to his mouth and dripping tea.

"The break in. We can't wait til next week." Sirius followed James inside. "We saw Lucius in Borgin and Burkes, he didn't see us. They're moving it on Monday."

"He said that?" Peter stared at them.

"Not in as many words, no, but that is the general gist of things. Where's Moony?"

"I'm here." Remus was standing in the doorway to the adjacent room, face rather blank.

"We have to move things forward." Sirius said, stealing a biscuit from Peter's tin and dropping down into the chair beside him.

"We're ready, anyway." James added. "It won't affect anything."

"Yeah, we figure that two will be the best time to go, that way we'll get through without too much of a queue but it will be busy as hell as we leave. Should make things easier, hopefully." Sirius was talking around a mouthful of crumbs.

"But it's only four days away," Peter complained. "I thought we were going to wait until next week."

"They're moving something important on Monday. If the cup is there now, it won't be next week." James told him, taking the last biscuit before Sirius or Peter could.

"What's up, Moony?" Sirius asked, realising Remus hadn't moved from where he was standing in the doorway.

"It's full moon on Thursday," Remus said.

"Fuck."

"We can't wait another week. We just can't." James looked apologetic, refusing to meet Remus's eyes.

"No way. We're not going without Remus." Sirius turned on him.

"We have to." His voice was firm. "We can't wait."

"We won't get five steps without him!" Sirius was on his feet now, pacing the kitchen agitatedly.

Remus, for his part, stayed mute. He knew James was right, but he was furious at the thought of being left behind. Even more so, he felt guilty that his friends would have to go without him. None of them were operating under the delusion that this mission would be safe. There was no way they were going to get in and out of Gringotts without the whole thing exploding in their faces, perhaps literally. Remus didn't want to be curled up in bed while the others were risking their lives. But there was no other option, and he knew it. There was absolutely no way he'd be well enough the day after full moon to go with them, especially full moon in the city where there was no prey except himself.

"We can't wait. We're going to have to go without him." James ran a hand through his hair, for once out of frustration rather than vanity.

"We need him!" Sirius had reached the far end of the kitchen, but he turned now, glaring at James. "You know we need him. We can't do it on Friday."

"We can't do it tomorrow! And he'll be no use by Wednesday. Friday is our last chance. We have to do it without him." James was apologetic but calm, Sirius was anything but.

"We may as well not bother," Peter said dully, staring at the empty biscuit tin.

"We're not doing it without him," Sirius repeated angrily.

"We'll have to. Sirius, shut up for a minute and think about it. You know that we can't wait, and you know Remus won't be able to come, not the day after full moon." James was getting angry now. "We need to figure out how it's going to work without him, not waste our time arguing when there's nothing we can do to change the fact  _he_   _can't come_."

"Right here, by the way," Remus put in, waving his hand at the other boys. "James is right. It doesn't change the plans much. It just means one of you will have to do the memory charm." They hadn't actually settled on who was going to manage the Imperious curse yet. Surprisingly enough, no one had volunteered.

"This is fucking bollocks." Sirius kicked his empty chair, sending it skittering across the room. "What the fuck are we going to do when we get into the vault? We know there'll be protections on it that we can't just get past using the goblin."

"I don't see how having me there would change that."

"Bollocks, Remus, you bloody well know that you've the most chance out of the four of us of coming up with something genius to get us all out."

Remus shook his head. "That's not even true."

"Sirius," James put his hand on Sirius's shoulder before he could voice his response. "Sit down." He flicked his wand at the chair Sirius had kicked and it flew back across the room, righting itself at the small table for Sirius to drop down into. "Getting angry isn't going to help. There's nothing we can do to change the fact Remus can't be there. We need to figure out how we're going to make it work without him." He took a seat himself on the opposite side of the table once he was sure Sirius wasn't going to leap back to his feet and rage again.

"We're doomed," Peter sighed, tapping the kettle with his wand to reheat the tea and pouring himself another cup.

"Don't be ridiculous," Remus said testily. "Me not being there won't make a bit of a difference. It'll probably be easier getting three people in than four anyway."

"Moony, come sit down. We'll figure it out."

"There is nothing to figure out," Remus told them. "I'm going for a walk."

"Remus-" James's sentence was cut off by the door falling shut behind their friend.

"He's upset he can't come," Peter said, into the resulting silence.

"Of course he is," Sirius snapped.

"He really does think he's useless, sometimes. You know that, right?"

"Since when did you know anything about Remus?" Sirius growled.

"Sirius," James warned.

"This really is ridiculous," Sirius stood up, almost knocking his chair over again in the process.

"Don't follow him."

"Why the fuck not?" Sirius was out the door before James could reply.

**o 0 o**

Sirius caught up to Remus on the street outside and fell into step beside him, neither boy saying a word. Remus didn't look at Sirius, but he didn't make any attempt to get away from him either. They continued like that, walking side by side in silence, for a few minutes before Remus sighed.

"I am fine, okay?"

"Of course you are," Sirius shrugged. "Why wouldn't you be?"

Remus frowned but didn't reply. When they reached the end of the street he turned left. They walked in silence for another few minutes.

"Just for the record, it's going to be bloody hard without you." Sirius made it a few steps before he realised Remus had stopped. "Hey," he said. "I thought you said you were fine."

"I am fine." Remus gritted out between his teeth. "Stop talking about it." He resumed walking, resolutely watching the pavement ahead of him.

"Sure. But if it was me, I'd be pretty upset about having to stay behind."

"Sirius, really, just stop. You're terrible at this."

"I know," Sirius grinned. "But I'm trying. The least you could do is try too."

"What do you want me to say? I'm fucking devastated I can't go. If anything happens to you, while I'm sitting in an empty flat feeling sorry for myself-"

"It won't be your fault if anything does." This time Sirius stopped walking, but he caught Remus's arm and pulled him to a halt too.

Remus stared at him for a few moments. "I know. But that won't change the fact that you're all dead and I have to live with it."

Sirius didn't know what to say.


	11. Chapter 11

The door shuddered.

It had never been a good plan. After the previous full moon in the flat Remus had wanted to Apparate out to the forest, somewhere where he could run, but that would have left him stranded. No one was happy with the idea of leaving him alone and defenceless in the woods while James, Sirius and Peter broke into Gringotts, and he wouldn't be able to Apparate back for at least a few days. If they weren't already one man down on what should have been a four man mission, maybe someone could have stayed with him. But it was what it was, and Remus was forced to transform in the middle of muggle London again. He had been awfully quiet as they were setting up the wards around the room he'd be locked in. Not that he wasn't usually quiet leading up to full moon, face pale, eyes glassy. But this was different.

The door shuddered again.

No sounds escaped the room. They'd been careful with that this time, setting up two levels of wards just in case. The flat's walls were thin and it wouldn't do to have any muggles wondering what was going on, or calling the muggle police. The door was reinforced with magic too; James and Sirius had both thought it excessive, Remus had insisted. Now, watching as it bent towards them, James was glad they had acquiesced.

None of them could sleep, which wasn't going to be good for their mental capacity the next day. They couldn't see inside the room, couldn't know what was happening in there, but they had an idea. The flat was tiny, nestled in amongst other buildings in the middle of a busy street. The stench of humanity was almost palpable. The wolf was going mad.

"I should be in there with him," Sirius muttered, pacing.

"He'd kill you," James didn't even look up. It wasn't the first time he'd said it tonight.

"I could calm him down."

"No, Sirius, you couldn't." James caught hold of Sirius's arm the next time he passed and pulled him to a halt. The door shuddered again, bending past what should have been breaking point, and they all stopped to stare at it. "Sit down," James said, a few moments too late, the authority leached from his voice by the pause.

Sirius sat heavily on the kitchen chair and dropped his head into his hands, wishing there was some way he could block out the images of his friend behind the door.

**o 0 o**

Remus was such a mess the next morning that they nearly called the entire thing off.

"We can't leave you here alone," Sirius said as he smoothed Remus's hair back off his face, following his hand carefully with a damp cloth to clear off the blood. Most of it was from his leg, which Peter had already cleaned and bound; it had taken two glasses of water to wash out the blood from between his teeth but Remus could still taste the bitter tang.

"Yes you can," Remus told him, voice hoarse, each word carefully separate from the one before. "I didn't spend all that time teaching you how to cast that memory charm for you to sit around staring at me while I sleep."

Peter came over, steaming goblet in hand. "He'll be asleep all day," he agreed, setting the goblet down beside the bed they had carefully helped Remus into. "But maybe if one of us stayed it-"

"Seriously?" James threw his hands into the air. "How many times do I have to be the one insisting that we have no choice but to do it today? We can't call it off! This is the future of the entire Wizarding world that we're talking about here."

"Muggle world too," Remus added quietly. "You have to go."

"We don't all have to go," Sirius said slowly.

"Yes, you do." Remus didn't shake his head because his muscles hurt too much to consider it, but his eyes were full of reproach. "Stop babying me."

James sat down beside him, retrieving the goblet from where Peter had placed it and carefully helping Remus sit up so that he could swallow the potion. "I don't like leaving you here like this either," he admitted as Remus lifted the goblet to his lips shakily. "But you're right, we do need all of us to go, and we can't change that."

"I'll be fine," Remus said through gritted teeth as James lowered him back to the bed and pain flared through his body.

"We'll only be gone a few hours, I guess." Sirius had known from the start that they had to go, but that didn't mean he was happy about it.

"'xactly," Remus sighed, closing his eyes. Sirius went back to carding his fingers through his hair.

"We don't need to leave until after one anyway," James added. "I'm going to get some sleep."

"Me too," Peter followed James out of the room, leaving Sirius to sit with Remus until the potion took effect and he fell asleep.

**o 0 o**

Remus slept the steady, deep sleep of the drugged. Peter had assured them the potion would keep him under for at least six hours, giving the salves and his own body time to work on the wounds he'd inflicted on himself during his transformation and giving the others time to prepare for their mission, complete it, and return before he woke up.

Hopefully.

He was still out when one thirty rolled around and the others gathered their things and left their makeshift home. They all stopped and said goodbye, even though he was asleep. Just in case.

Gringotts was relatively quiet when they arrived. Sirius felt as if he were walking in alone even though he knew James was nearby under the invisibility cloak, Peter carefully stowed away in the pocket of his robes. The plan had undergone some serious modifications over the last few days of rushed preparation, and they had eventually refined it into something that might just work. The main change (other than Remus being missing, of course) was timing.

"I'd like to visit my vault," he told the goblin before him when he reached one of the marble counters. He didn't spare a glance at the extravagant architecture surrounding him; the childhood wonder had worn off years ago and right now he was too focussed on crossing his fingers underneath his robes and hoping everything would go as planned, because if this part failed they might as well go home.

"Imperio," James's voice came from just over his shoulder and the goblin before them, an ugly thing whose nose curved down into a sharp point, stilled. Its face went slack, eyes vacant, and Sirius found himself holding his breath until it turned, purpose returning to its face as it stalked away.

"Merlin, James," Sirius muttered under his breath. He'd never seen the Imperius curse in action before, and it was odd how just watching the control James had over the goblin left him feeling as if a layer of dirt had been lowered over him. Before he could say anything more the goblin returned, clankers attached to his belt.

"Follow me," it intoned, voice shrill, and Sirius couldn't see any signs that it wasn't acting under its own will now. The clankers meant that James's spell had worked though, because Sirius didn't have a dragon guarding  _his_  vault. He followed the goblin through one of the doors and soon found himself climbing into one of the rickety looking carts, careful to take his time and leave room for James to settle beside him. And then they were off, the cart twisting and turning at breakneck speeds, rattling and shuddering along the tracks.

None of them saw it coming. Well, they saw the water, of course, pouring from somewhere above them and cascading down over the tracks, but they hardly got past bewilderment before they hit it and everything was falling apart. Literally. The cart derailed, and Sirius, James, Peter, and the goblin all found themselves tumbling through the air. Just as he was resigning himself to certain death and wondering how long Remus would wait in the flat before he realised they weren't coming back, Sirius heard James call something and his falling slowed until it felt more like floating. The ground met him lightly, cold wet rock touching his back, before gravity reclaimed him and he slumped into it.

"Bloody hell, Pete, ge' off me," James gasped, shoving at Peter until he rolled onto the wet rock beside him. Once he was free from his friend's weight he flicked his wand at the water that was still drumming down onto them. "Protego!" The shield sprung forth and created a bubble around them, the water spilling down the sides and off into the chasm. The sudden silence made their ears ring.

"I'm alive," Peter said, shocked.

"Yeah," Sirius agreed.

"Cushioning charm," James explained.

"Peter, why are you human?" Sirius asked, mentally kicking himself for not thinking of the charm – the amount of times they'd used it in Quidditch practice in similar situations, yet he'd just resigned himself to certain death rather than  _thinking_.

"I," Peter hesitated. "I don't know." He looked at James, whose robes were basically ruined. Having a rat suddenly grow into a full sized, overweight man inside your pocket would do that.

James stared at Peter for a moment before realisation hit him and he spun around, looking for the goblin. Luckily the confusion of the situation still had him rooted to the spot, though the vacant expression that seemed to linger when he had no orders was gone. "Imperio," he flicked his wand again and the goblin's features slackened.

"I guess we'll have to walk the rest of the way," Sirius said, looking at the broken cart and scooping up the backpack that James had been carrying from a puddle.

"Hopefully we landed on the right level," James replied, rather doubting their luck. The goblin seemed to be back under his control now, so he flicked his wand at him and he followed as they began to walk.

As it turned out, luck  _was_ on their side – in a manner of speaking. They hadn't been walking for long when Sirius pointed out the vault ahead as being his cousin's. But their jubilation was short lived; before Sirius could even say "there it is" he was cut off by a deafening roar.

Right. Dragon.

It was huge, and yet somehow pitiful. Scales pale and flaky, eyes milky pink, too many years spent chained up underground, tortured into protecting treasure it had no claim over or interest in. Nonetheless, it  _was_  a dragon, and when it lifted its head to roar again no one was thinking about the condition of its scales. The sound reverberated off the walls towards them, chased by fire.

"Fuck!" Peter ducked behind Sirius, as if that would protect him, flames dancing around them as James threw up another shield charm.

"Geeze, Pete, great to know you'd put yourself on the line for your friends," Sirius exclaimed, falling back himself and crashing into his friend. "James, do something!" The dragon's spiked wings were raised as it drew itself up again for a second attack and the shield charm wasn't going to hold forever.

"I am!" James snapped back.

"The clankers, you idiot," Sirius swore again as James's shield charm fell down under the next onslaught of fire, managing to drag Peter behind an outcrop in the rock wall of the cavern before the flames reached them. The heat was heavy and sharp against his skin and he didn't even want to look to see whether James and the goblin had made it out of the road in time.

"Clankers!" James's voice rang out in the silence that followed the dragon's roars, and Sirius looked up again in time to see him flicking his wand so violently that he almost lost hold of it and threw it at the goblin by mistake. "Clankers, come on, stop the dragon," James was basically babbling, but the goblin retrieved the clankers from his belt and started to shake them all the same.

The noise they made was almost as unbearable as the heat from the dragon's fire, bouncing off the rock and the insides of their skulls, echoing louder and louder and louder until they thought their heads might explode. All three of the Marauders had their hands clasped over their ears and none could blame the dragon as it retreated from the sound, conditioned to expect pain to follow. James and Sirius followed the goblin as it made its way towards the vault entrance, Sirius grabbing Peter's shirt and dragging him after them as his legs almost gave way.

The silence when they'd reached the vault and the clankers stopped ringing was almost suffocating. James didn't speak as he waved his wand, and they watched, still gathering their wits (and Peter his legs) as the goblin opened the vault.

The sheer volume of gold inside the vault was enough to make Peter's knees weak all over again. Coins, artefacts, jewels. There were crowns, and cups, and necklaces, piles of galleons and sickles and knuts, and the very thought of searching through it all to find Hufflepuff's cup – if it was even really here – made them sick.

"Accio cup," James wasn't surprised when nothing happened, it would stand to reason that the vault would have at least the same protections as the room of requirement had.

"Can you see it?" Peter asked. Sirius stepped forward into the vault and James followed, stepping up beside him.

"No," James admitted. But then he saw it, perched at the top of a giant pile of gold and looking exactly like the illustration of it in the textbook Remus had shown them. "Wait, ther-"

"Ah!" Sirius cried out and fell back into Peter, who had followed them in.

"What did you do?" Peter yelped as Sirius landed on his foot, knocking him into the edge of the vault opening. The gold around their feet seemed to be multiplying.

Wait.

It  _was_  multiplying.

"Shit, Sirius, what the fuck did you do?" James danced out of the road of it too, they were quickly being forced back out the door of the vault as they tried not to touch the burning gold. For burning it was, and Sirius already had blisters forming across his fingers to prove it.

"I just touched it – Merlin, it's hot, how are we supposed to find the bloody cup if we can't touch anything?"

"I found it," James told him, grabbing Sirius's shoulders so he could direct him to look in the right direction. "Up there."

"Up – fucking. How are we supposed to get it without touching anything?"

"I can do it." Peter's voice was small and not very steady and his face was pale when they looked at him, but he repeated himself all the same. "I can." Before anyone could ask him how exactly he planned to do that, he had transformed into his rat shape and was leaping up the pile of treasure as quickly as his little rat legs could carry him – which was admittedly quite fast. He left a cascade of reproducing treasure behind him, but he was avoiding touching as much of it as he could and was leaving far less of a trail of destruction than any of them would have as humans. When he reached the cup he threw his body at it rather than trying to drag it towards him, hitting it hard enough to dislodge it from the top of the pile and send it flying towards the others. James caught it and almost dropped it immediately as it burned him, but he held on. If he let go he'd surely lose it amongst the reproductions. Peter threw himself off the top of the quickly growing pile and Sirius caught him out of the air before following James from the vault. The heavy door clanged shut behind them.

They stood panting, James leaning against the jagged rock, hardly aware of it digging into his shoulders and gripping the cup tightly in his blistering palm, Sirius still holding Peter in one hand as he stared at the now closed door to the vault. The goblin was standing where James had left him, staring vacantly into space and shifting his weight from one foot to the other as he waited for instruction.

"Merlin," James transferred the cup to his other hand – it was no longer scalding hot – and flexed his burnt fingers.

"Ow," Sirius yelped as Peter nipped his hand. He set him down and Peter quickly changed back to human, rubbing his raw hands against his blistered face. His shoulder was burnt quite badly where he'd slammed into the cup, robes sticking to the wound.

"Do you still have the bag?" He asked James, and James nodded, pulling it off his shoulders and opening it. He passed Peter a jar of burn salve, and while he waited for it to put on his own hand he secured the cup away in Remus's custom built Horcrux bag.

"That was bloody insane," Peter handed the salve to James, face contorted into a wince as the blisters receded back into his skin, leaving only a red glow behind. James watched as the ones on his hand did the same.

"Thought I was goin' to get buried," Peter continued, out of breath and red faced even now that the burns had subsided. "Barely even touched anything and things just kept springing up around me, some of those goblets were bigger than I am!" At least, they had been when he was a rat, but he was too caught in his babbling to correct himself there. "Didn't think I'd have any fur left by the time I reached the top, blimey."

Sirius started to laugh. It wasn't mean spirited, but Peter was really on a roll.

"You did great, Pete," James assured him, pushing his hands into his thighs and standing back up, bag over his shoulder again. "Now we just need to – oh bollocks."

"What?" Sirius asked.

"How are we going to get out of here?" James asked, gesturing to the great empty expanse of the caverns they were in. They could barely see any of the cart tracks up above, and even if they could, they had no cart. It had smashed on the rocks before they'd landed.

Sirius swore.

"We could repair the cart?" Peter suggested, but he didn't sound very optimistic.

"Yeah, maybe if Remus was here," Sirius replied darkly. "It's probably in too many pieces. Be better off conjuring a new one."

"Can we do that?" Peter asked.

"No," James replied before Sirius could. "It'd disappear as soon as we went through the water," he said. "And even if it didn't, the goblins would know it was fake when we got back up the top, wouldn't they?"

"We could shield it from the water," Sirius said, rubbing a hand over his face. "But I don't know if we can create one to start with. Maybe we should go see what we can find of the old one."

They didn't make it very far when a loud roar reminded them that they weren't alone.

"Shit," James flicked his wand at the goblin, having completely forgotten about the dragon. The sound of the clankers filled the cabin again and they all kept their hands clasped over their ears as they waited for the dragon to retreat and allow them past. It wasn't long before they were back at the cart and the echoes of the dragon's roars were all that broke the ringing silence.

"Okay," James examined the situation. The cart wasn't as bad as he'd expected, it was broken, but based on the damage James had a feeling it had been caught up in his cushioning charm earlier. "Well, we can fix this," he said, glancing at Peter and Sirius. "Do you think it will run if we do?"

"Sure," Peter said, "if we can get it back up to the tracks."

Right. There was still the small matter of about a Quidditch field's worth of airspace between them and the rails. Quidditch field. James had an idea. The bag hit the ground with a heavy thud but he was already digging through it. "Accio broom," he commanded, and pulled out first his and then Sirius's brooms.

"If we enchant the cart to be feather light, we can ride two to a broom, and fly it up to the tracks," he explained his idea as Sirius picked his broom up from where James had left it beside the bag.

"Why don't we just fly the brooms out?" Peter asked.

"Well, that wouldn't attract attention at all, would it?" Sirius said sarcastically. "I think it might just work," he said to James, face serious as he considered it. "We need to arrive as normally as possible, so that the memory charm will work on him," he nodded at the goblin who was once again staring aimlessly into the depths of the cavern.

Peter walked over to the cart, face flushed from Sirius's jibe, and righted a wheel that had fallen off. "Well, let's go, we don't want to take too long or they'll be suspicious anyway," he said.

"You're right," James said, patting Peter on the back. "Jump on with Sirius. I'll ride with the goblin." He touched his wand to the cart. "Reparo!" They watched as the wood knitted back together and the wheel reattached. "Ready?" He asked Sirius, who was already seated on his broom, with Peter clinging to him from behind.

"Let's do it," Sirius replied with a rather manic grin. James climbed onto his broom and flicked his wand at the goblin to get him to climb up behind him before enchanting the cart. Peter took one side and James the other, and with that they pushed off and headed up towards the tracks.

"Don't touch the water or we'll drop it," James reminded Sirius, but Sirius had thought of that too and they flew around the fall, setting the cart down on the other side of the tracks.

"Is it the right way?" Peter asked.

"I think so," James replied, frowning at the cart and then shrugging. "Hop in." It was awkward getting from the brooms into the cart, but they managed. James stored the brooms back in the bag, and then flicked his wand at the goblin again. The goblin tapped the cart and it lurched forward before stopping with a jerk and a loud clank. A tense moment passed and then the cart began to speed on its way.

"Time to do your thing," James yelled to Sirius over the whooshing of the wind and clanking of the cart. Peter was almost green as he clutched the sides, but he let go and changed swiftly into his rat form, scurrying carefully along the seat and up into James's robe pocket. Sirius saluted, drawing his wand, and James disappeared under the invisibility cloak and released the Imperius curse from the goblin.

He didn't have much time once the curse was lifted. It was imperative that he have the memory charm completed before the confusion had worn off and the goblin realised what was going on. It wasn't an easy spell, even though Sirius had practiced for days with Remus, and the consequences of screwing it up could be catastrophic for both the success of their mission and the goblin's mental health. A mistake could mean completely scrambling the pale creature's brains, and even though Sirius had no real respect for goblins, he didn't want that on his conscience. Remus might have been able to create a flawless transition between the real memory and the implanted one, but Sirius knew anyone delving into the goblin's memory after this would be met with the same strange fog and booming voices he himself had met in Slughorn's memory all those months ago. It took Sirius's full concentration and skill, but when he was done he was confident that the goblin would remember only taking them down to his vault and collecting some coins before returning to the surface, nothing unusual.

The cart slammed to a halt, and Sirius nearly took his own eye out with his wand. He quickly shoved it back into the pocket of his robes.

"Out you get," the goblin's voice rang shrill and the boys scrambled out of the cart, James and Peter hidden under the cloak. All that was left was for them to walk out the great marble doors of the most secure bank in the entire Wizarding (and Muggle) world. The goblin had moved ahead of them and was now ushering Sirius back into the main hall of the bank, which had filled with people arriving after work to get their gold for the weekend.

"Perfect," James whispered to Sirius from just behind him. Sirius nodded, though his nerves didn't settle until they'd weaved their way through the crowds and out the doors. In fact, his nerves were still threatening to make him sick when he was blocks away, tramping up the stairs to their temporary flat. But somehow they had just walked out of Gringotts with the Cup.

**o 0 o**

Remus was still asleep when they let themselves back into the flat. Sirius checked on him quietly, making sure he wasn't in any pain before joining the others in the kitchen.

"He's still asleep."

"Yeah, I made the potion rather strong," Peter replied. "I didn't want him to wake up in pain while we were still gone." Sirius gave him a small smile of gratitude.

"Do we want to destroy the cup now?" James asked, looking between the two of them and the bag that he'd dumped on the chair when they'd come in.

"We should wait for Remus to be up," Sirius said. "He'd want to be part of it."

"He won't be up to that for a while," Peter said.

"Then we can wait. We've still got the locket, anyway. It won't hurt to wait a few days."

"I hope not," James replied.


	12. Chapter 12

They were woken in the middle of the night when the sun exploded.

In the confusion that followed Sirius fell over Remus and landed on his still healing leg. Remus cried out in pain and nearly knocked Sirius's head off, and James finally thought to give them some light, nearly poking Peter's eye out as he jerked out his wand and cried, "lumos!"

The light did nothing to alleviate the confusion, but it did allow them to see each other. Remus's face was almost grey.

"Fuck, Remus, I'm so sorry," Sirius swore from the floor, clutching the side of his head where Remus's fist had connected with his skull. Remus didn't say anything, but more because he was fighting not to pass out or throw up than because he was deliberately ignoring Sirius.

"What the hell was that?" Peter asked, because they seemed to have lost track of the important thing here – something had just exploded. Presumably not the sun, because they were all still alive, but  _something_  had  _exploded_.

James moved over to the window, taking the light with him.

"Fuck." It wasn't so much the word as the hollow tone to his voice that told them all something was seriously wrong.

"What?" Sirius asked.

Peter joined him at the window. "Bloody hell," he whispered.

"What?" Sirius demanded again from the floor. Remus had closed his eyes in an attempt to block out the pain still surging from where Sirius had landed on his leg. If the warm sticky feeling was anything to go by he'd definitely reopened the wound.

"We need to get out of here," James turned away from the window.

"Do you think it's him?" Peter asked.

"Who else can you think of that goes around blowing up buildings and killing muggles?"

"Wait,  _what?_ " Sirius repeated, but he was back on his feet now so he crossed to the window himself.

It was chaos outside. The buildings that had been across the street were gone, replaced by flames and black-streaked rubble. People were running through the streets, running in circles, easy pickings for the robed Death Eaters amongst them. The lack of sound made the whole scene seem slightly unreal – but Sirius knew it was due to the wards they had on the flat. Well, at least they were holding?

"We can't just leave them-"

"Now's not the time to play hero, Sirius! We haven't destroyed all of the Horcruxes yet. If we die now, no one can stop him." James had found the backpack and was shoving stuff into it without looking up.

"But-"

"Shut up and help. Wormtail, get the stuff from the kitchen." Peter obeyed, disappearing into the other room without a word.

"We need to get out of here," James repeated when Sirius didn't move from the window.

"They've got no chance, Prongs. They can't fight back."

"We help them by surviving to destroy these bloody Horcruxes. We should have done it this afternoon!"

"Fuck," Sirius took a step from the window but returned to it almost immediately. "What if we-"

"Expelliarmus!" James caught Sirius's wand before Sirius had even realised he was reaching for it.

"What the fuck-"

"I'm not going to let you get us killed," James said quietly. He didn't mention the Fiendfyre, but he didn't need to. Sirius punched the window frame, curses pouring from his lips. James ignored him and finished packing before turning to Remus, who hadn't moved since he'd punched Sirius in the face.

"Fuck."

"Yeah."

"Shit, Moony, you're bleeding everywhere!" Sirius forgot the chaos outside as he rushed to his friend.

"I am."

The building shook as another blast rang out, and suddenly they could hear screams and manic laughter drifting up from the street below, the crackling of fire accompanied by further crashes as more of the surrounding buildings succumbed to the Death Eater's curses.

"Well, there go the protective charms," Remus said.

"We're going to die," Peter had returned from the kitchen, too scared to be ashamed of the tears on his cheeks. Somehow he had managed not to drop everything he'd been gathering up in his haste to join his friends and James took it from him and added it to the bag, patting him firmly on the shoulder once he'd done so.

"No, we're not. We're leaving."

"And leaving them to kill the whole of muggle London?" Sirius protested, stripping the bloodstained sheet off of Remus so he could see the extent of the damage to his leg.

"The Ministry of Magic will be here soon," James said, voice empty.

"Leave him alone, Pads," Remus said quietly. He had closed his eyes again, but not quickly enough to avoid seeing that his leg wound had most definitely been reopened, the off white of bone peeking through the mangled skin. He was breathing through his nose in a desperate attempt to avoid throwing up. "He doesn't want to leave them, but he has to."

"I'm not leaving  _you_ ," James snapped, hearing what Remus hadn't said.

"What?" Sirius looked from James to Remus and then back again before it dawned on him. "Oh, fuck off Moony, are you fucking stupid?"

"What are you going to do, carry me out of here? If we leave this building on foot we're dead."

"We're not going to leave it on foot." James turned back to the bag and then almost fell into it as another explosion rocked through the foundation of the building.

"WE'RE ON FIRE!" Peter was screaming, and he was right, a blasting curse had just taken out half the floor above them and green-blue flames were licking down the outside wall. The eerie light they gave to the room made it feel like they were under water.

"Tie the sheet around his leg," James snapped at Sirius, who was still glaring at Remus. "And stop acting like a fucking martyr, Moony. We'll fly out. Two to a broom." He swung onto his own broom as he said it, tossing Sirius's broom and his wand onto the bed beside Remus.

"WHAT?!" Peter had lost the ability to talk at a normal pitch.

"You just hold on and you'll be fine," James said, grabbing Peter's arm and hauling him onto the broom behind him.

"Go, we'll follow," Sirius said as he tied off the sheet.

"He'll fall," James said, nodding at Remus. "Hop on and I'll bind him to you." Sirius swore, but James was right, Remus wasn't in a good state. Whatever small amount of healing his body had managed over the last twelve hours had been more than reversed by Sirius's entire body weight landing on his injured leg and the guilt tasted like acid in Sirius's throat. Sirius grabbed his wand and swung up onto his waiting broom.

"Shit, how are we going to get you up here?" he wondered, realising that Remus probably wasn't going to be able to climb up himself.

"I got it," Peter said, swinging off James's broom and coming to help Remus.

"I can manage," Remus protested, but although he got to his feet on his own he did need Peter's help to get his leg up and over the broom.

"Right, Moony?" Sirius asked once Remus was settled behind him. Remus looped his arms around Sirius's waist and nodded. Satisfied that Remus was on the broom, James conjured ropes to secure them together in case Remus lost his grip on Sirius during the flight.

"Okay," James said, but Sirius interrupted him.

"Wait, we should at least splint his leg." The sheet tied around it might help with the bleeding but it wasn't going to keep it still.

"Right," James stared at Remus for a moment. "Moony?"

"Yeah, yeah," Remus's cheek was pressed against the back of Sirius's shoulder, the effort of holding himself upright taking its toll already. Damn it, the last thing they needed was to have to leave while Remus was still so ruined by his transformation.

"I don't know the charm," James's voice was tense but he avoided snapping at his friend. Just.

"Oh." Remus reached for his own wand and almost tipped himself and Sirius off the broom when his weight shifted to the side.

"Just tell me," James interrupted as Peter caught them and supported Remus's weight until Sirius had managed to regain his balance. This was going to be an interesting ride.

"I can do it," Peter said once Sirius was supporting Remus again. Before James could protest, he cast the charm. "Ferula," he swished his wand and they watched as bandages and a splint attached themselves to Remus's leg, holding it straight and still, as they should. Peter pretended not to notice the surprise on James's face (or the stab of resentment in his own gut).

"Thanks Wormy," Remus dropped his head back onto Sirius's shoulder. "Should do a disillusionment charm too," he muttered as an afterthought.

"Right," Sirius replied before casting it on himself and then the others. James flicked his wand at the window and it exploded outwards in a shower of glass.

The disillusionment charm had been a waste of time. No one was going to notice them. From the flashes of light leaping below them, bright blues and greens and muddy reds, the Ministry had obviously arrived, and everyone was too occupied with their own battles to look up. The surviving muggles appeared to be gone – either dead or whisked away by Ministry officials to have their memories altered – and the absence of their screams left the night feeling too quiet as the Marauders headed towards the stars.

"Where are we going?" Sirius called out into the darkness.

"As far as we can get," James's response came from the sky ahead of him. They wouldn't make it to Hogwarts, but they could make it to the woods.

**o 0 o**

The flight was uneventful. Peter clung to James as if James didn't need to breathe and Remus managed to stay mostly conscious once his leg wasn't being knocked around. They lost the disillusionment charm once they were far enough from the fighting, and landed as soon as they found a suitable spot in the woods.

James helped Remus off the broom, tapping his wand to the ropes they'd used to bind him to Sirius and then taking most of his weight until he could lower him onto a convenient log.

"You look like shit," he told him.

"Thanks," Remus tilted his head up at James and smiled weakly. "I feel like shit."

Peter came over then, arm full of potions. "Here," he knelt beside Remus, carefully placing the various potions he'd carried over onto the log and filling a goblet with more of the steaming potion he'd made Remus drink that morning. "This'll put you to sleep, but it should help with the pain."

"We'll get the tent set up," James said, and headed off to do just that.

Remus took the potion Peter handed him, even though he knew it'd probably be easier for the others if he waited and could help move himself into the tent. He was going to need whatever comfort it offered him while Peter cleaned up his leg.

Sirius came over once he'd returned his broom to the bag. Perhaps he could have helped James with the tent, and that  _was_ probably what James had meant when he'd said 'we', but Remus didn't look too good and besides, Peter might need help. He stood beside Remus, hand on his shoulder, while Peter started to clean the wound.

A year ago the sight of such a wound would probably have made Peter sick, but a lot of things had changed in the past year. A quick Tergeo charm cleaned away most of the blood from Remus's leg, the bandages and splint joining the sheet in the dirt as Peter discarded them. Remus caught hold of Sirius's wrist as Peter began to apply the necessary salves to his injury.

"Shh, you're okay," Sirius said, even though Remus hadn't actually made a sound.

"Well, you haven't made it worse, anyway," Peter told them after a few minutes. "I'll check the rest too," he added a moment later, tying off the bandage he was fastening around the wound. Remus's other injuries weren't nearly as bad, but Peter applied some more salves to them anyway after checking that they were healing at the appropriate rate.

"The tent is ready," James had returned. Remus was leaning against Sirius by now, eyes half closed as he struggled to fight off the sleep the potion was drawing him into.

"I'm done," Peter told them, gathering together his potions and salves and taking them back over to where James had left the bag.

"Let's get you to bed," Sirius said, helping Remus to his feet. James joined him and together they helped Remus into the tent and up into one of the bunks. Sirius sat with him while James went back outside to help Peter clean up, but it wasn't long before Remus was fast asleep and Sirius went outside too.

"How is he really?" Sirius sat down beside Peter. James was setting up a fire so they could have a warm meal before heading to bed themselves. The sun would rise soon, but they'd only had a couple of hours sleep and they were all pretty much ready to crash.

"He's lost a bit of blood," Peter said, "but he's okay. He's always like this after full moon." It was true, and it had been a particularly bad full moon for Remus, stuck in the tiny room without his friends and with nowhere for him to run. It seemed so stupid now – it would have been less stressful on everyone if he'd just transformed in the woods to start with.

They cooked their food and ate at the fire, conversation quickly dying off into silence. They'd been on such a high after Gringotts, and now here they were, sitting in the woods again, a disgusting familiarity that none of them wanted to revisit. The crushing guilt of standing by and watching as people died was starting to feel like home.

"We should have done something," Sirius told the flickering flames of their campfire, his empty plate discarded beside him.

"We couldn't." Coming from consummate hero James, the words held more guilt than they suggested. Peter wasn't the only one who had grown since they'd left Hogwarts on a stupid treasure hunt, the word 'War' simply a concept, something that happened to someone else.

They hadn't wanted to miss out on the exciting stuff.

Remus had been right about that, too. People dying… It wasn't as romantic as it sounded in stories. And sometimes being a hero meant walking away so you could fight again the next day.

"The Ministry-"

"The Ministry arrived too late! How many- how many people-"

"What could we have done?"

And Sirius knew James was right, but it just made him argue harder. Peter stared at the fire and didn't say anything, because he'd been too scared to suggest staying, had been too relieved when James had insisted they leave, and yet he agreed with Sirius too.

The weight of those deaths hung as heavy on their shoulders as if they'd thrown the curses themselves.

**o 0 o**

Remus healed quickly, but not quickly enough. Even with the potions Peter was feeding him, it was three days before he could get up out of his bunk and limp slowly out of the tent. Everyone was restless, sick of waiting. They always seemed to be waiting. If they never camped again in their entire lives, it would be too soon.

"We need to get to Hogwarts," James was pacing, his hair standing on end from how many times he'd run his hands through it.

"Remus needs another day, at least," Peter told him. "He's not ready to Apparate yet."

"Well why doesn't he just stay here?" James demanded, turning on Peter and forcing him back a step, regretting what he'd said as soon as he'd said it.

"Are you serious?" Sirius moved forward. Remus looked up at the sky.

"Every day we wait here, we're allowing Voldemort and those fucking Death Eaters to continue unchallenged!" James turned on Sirius now, too worked up to stop even though he wanted to.

"When did it all fall down to us? We're not leaving them unchallenged, the whole bloody Ministry is after them! Why does it matter what we do?"

"It came down to us when we took it on ourselves to start hunting Horcruxes," Remus answered before James could, but he said what James would have said. "We put ourselves in the middle of this."

"But how is going to Hogwarts going to help?" Peter asked nervously, waiting for James to shout at him again.

"We can't keep wandering around the fucking woods!" James dropped down onto the log, head falling into his hands, defeated. It had been a long year, with very little to show for it, really. They were all burnt out by now.

"We're all sick of doing nothing," Remus said quietly, sitting beside James.

"It's only another day," Sirius sat too, taking the last space on the log and leaving Peter to stand.

"Dumbledore might be able to tell us where the Sword is," Peter suggested, offering an answer to his own question and an opportunity to turn the conversation from where they'd ended up.

"Right," Sirius agreed with him. "And we can find out what is going on, why the Death Eaters are attacking Muggle London – if, if it was our fault." They hadn't talked about it since the other night, but they were all wondering. It was highly possible they'd been traced back to their flat after they'd stolen the cup. If they had, that would explain why that particular street was targeted. But saying such a thing out loud made it seem a little too real.

"If we can find the sword," James trailed off, but he had lifted his head out of his hands at least. "If it is a Horcrux, it's the last one. We'll be done."

"We still need to destroy the locket and the cup," Remus reminded them.

"Right," James ran a hand through his hair again, but most of the agitation was gone. "Okay. We destroy the two Horcruxes we have, we get Moony well enough to Apparate, and then we get ourselves to bloody Hogwarts where we can at least tell Dumbledore what we've managed to do and maybe be of some use." He looked around at the other three. "Okay?"

"Okay."

"Well, we may as well get rid of these Horcruxes then."

"Who's going to do the honours?" Sirius asked. Peter immediately stepped back.

"Nope, I've already done one," he said quickly.

"Me too," James added, looking at Sirius. "You or Remus."

"There's two. One each."

"Ah, well," Remus frowned. "Do you think it'll be like Peter's?"

"Oh, hm. Maybe we should wait to do yours."

"Or one of you could-"

"Oh, no, it's okay, none of us would dream of taking that honour from you," James said quickly. No one wanted to repeat that.

"Right."

**o 0 o**

Sirius destroyed the locket.

It seemed only fitting, since his brother had died trying to.

The last time he'd held the locket he hadn't been ready to accept what it stood for. It had dangled from his hand in the same way it did now, chain tangled around his fingers, locket swinging slightly in a non-existent breeze. Merlin knew he probably wasn't ready now, either. But the time for waiting, for stalling, was gone. Sirius let the locket fall into the dirt and picked up the basilisk fang from where it had been resting beside him.

Funny how, now, kneeling in the dirt and staring at the small piece of jewellery, Sirius finally understood Regulus.

Regulus had been weak. Sirius had known that. He was like Peter, in that way. Always looking for the big kid on the playground to hide behind. Peter had found him and James. Regulus hadn't been so lucky. First his cousins, then Voldemort himself. It was possible that Sirius could have made a difference, if he'd done things differently, cared more, spent more time with his little brother. But he'd stopped spending time with Regulus when he'd been sorted into Gryffindor, started spending all his time with James, and then Remus and Peter. It had been years since he'd been home for the holidays. Regulus had faded into the small compartment he kept his family locked in in the back of his mind – deservedly so! Sirius had been right when he'd suspected that Regulus was a Death Eater. Not just a Death Eater, but one trusted enough to help protect Voldemort's soul. Just because he'd turned on him at the last minute – worst kind of coward! As soon as it affected  _him_  he ran!

But.

He hadn't just run. He'd found his courage and he'd died to defy Voldemort. If it wasn't for him, the locket wouldn't be lying before Sirius in the dirt.

Sirius ran his fingers along the side of the Basilisk fang.

Whatever Regulus may have been in life, in death he was a catalyst. Without him, they wouldn't have the locket here to destroy. It didn't atone for his sins, an act done out of selfishness, but his evil too had been born from a childish naivety and after all, Regulus had still been a child.

Sirius brought the fang down.

He missed the locket on his first try, but he hit it on his second.

**o 0 o**

Remus destroyed the cup.

It was the last Horcux they had. After months of carting pieces of Voldemort's soul across Britain, it seemed strange that he was about to destroy the last piece. Though perhaps not quite as strange as the fact they had actually just spent almost a year carrying them around.

He was half expecting the type of fanfare that Peter received when destroying the diary, but logically that wouldn't happen. Peter had spent months pouring himself into the diary, feeding the energy that existed there, strengthening the fragment of Voldemort's soul to the point it  _could_  manifest itself as it had. This was the first time Remus had touched the cup, and it just felt cold under his hand. He set it in the dirt and took the Basilisk fang that Sirius was offering to him.

If it wasn't for the shriek that came from it, they might never have known if it was really a Horcrux at all. Remus felt a sick kind of relief that he hadn't had to face what Peter had, that it had been easy, and that it was over. There was no reliving of painful memories, no dark creatures trying to convince him to join their side – Remus had had nightmares about it, too many to count. If he shut his eyes he could picture them, Sirius's mistrust, Peter's fear, but in the end, nothing. It was over.

He sat back on his heels and looked up at Sirius. "That's it?"

"They're all gone, now." Sirius looked over at James and Peter.

They didn't feel any better than they had ten minutes ago.

**o 0 o**

They ended up waiting two days, just to make sure Remus was okay. After all, they had no idea what the situation was at Hogwarts. They could only hope it was better than the one they'd just run from.

They Apparated to Hogsmeade again, but if they hadn't known that was where they were heading they wouldn't have recognised it.

"Bloody hell…"

The last time they'd been here some of the shops had been closed, but this time it was like – well, like they were in the middle of a war. It was desolated. Entire shops were gone, leaving gaping holes like missing teeth in the façade of the street. Walls had crumbled across the road; shattered glass glinted amongst the stone. The boys picked their way around the rubble in silence, wondering what had happened to all of the people.

Dervish and Bangs had been looted, windows smashed and half of the contents of the store missing, the rest broken and strewn across the floor. Judging from the smell of rotten fruit, The Magic Neep a few doors down had been similarly treated. Zonko's was still standing, boards nailed across the windows and door, but the bookshop beside it was gone, pages from torn up books littering the street long after the boys had passed it. But if their hearts had been sinking before, it was nothing compared to the feeling they got when they reached Honeydukes.

"Fuck."

It had obviously been hit by some kind of blasting curse – or perhaps a battering ram. The roof had come down, though it was impossible to tell if that was because the front wall had been destroyed or the cause of it.

"How are we going to get in now?" Peter asked, and if there was a slightly desperate tone to his voice you could hardly blame him. They needed to get into the basement after all, and that wasn't going to happen unless they had a week, even with magic.

Remus stepped over what had been the door but was now in the middle of the street, and picked up a bag of Pepper Imps. There were sweets everywhere, Chocolate Frogs still hopping amongst the dust, leaving smears of chocolate as they moved, bodies mutating as they melted in the sun. Every Flavour Beans caught in between the cracks in the sidewalk, shattered Sugar Quills turning the blackened stone pink. "We could try the Shrieking Shack?" He suggested, looking over at the others, packet scrunched in his hand.

"If they haven't destroyed that too," Sirius said darkly.

"We certainly aren't going to get in through here," James turned away and started walking again. The others followed.

It was eerie, how quiet the place was. No one had tried to clean up, everyone was gone. It was impossible to tell how long ago the attack had happened, though the fact the Chocolate Frogs were still melting suggested it hadn't been too long – unless, of course, the ones they'd seen had only recently escaped from inside the shop, where the layers of rubble overhead would have kept them cool. Remus dropped the Pepper Imps when he realised he was still holding them, kicking them into the shadows at the edge of the street.

The Shack was still standing. Perhaps the Death Eaters had been scared of unleashing whatever it was they thought haunted it. Or perhaps they just hadn't bothered coming out this far, when there was so much more fun to be had destroying the shops and homes and people in the village itself.

That was one thing they could be glad for, Remus supposed. That they hadn't seen any corpses.

"What do you think?" James asked, looking to Remus. The doors and windows were still boarded of course, they never had been designed to be opened. But it would be easier to break through the wooden walls here than to dig through stone to get to the basement of Honeydukes.

"I don't know. The Reductor curse might work? But I'm not sure if it'd isolate to the door or not." Remus leant against the fence, taking the weight off his bad leg. It might be better than it had been, but all this walking wasn't doing him any good.

"It should," Sirius frowned at the shack before them. "Or we can try to blast our way in?"

"And set the whole place on fire?" James raised his eyebrows. "I think the Reductor curse is our best option."

Sirius looked at Remus, expecting him to do the curse, but Remus shook his head and gestured for Sirius to do it himself.

"All right, let's see," Sirius muttered, walking over to the door and leaving the others at the fence. "Reducto!" he cried, drawing his wand back slightly and then aiming the spell at the door. It looked like lightning, an electric blue shock that crumbled the door into ashes when it hit.

"Woo!" James whooped and pumped his fist in the air. Sirius couldn't hold back his grin. "We're in!"

"Home sweet home, huh, Moony?" Sirius said as they picked their way over the threshold and into the Shack itself.

"Sod off," Remus flicked his hand in Sirius's general direction with a glare. Sirius yelped, clutching at his ear.

"Ow!" He was laughing, but he didn't press further, still rubbing at his ear as they weaved their way through the bedroom, passed the shabby four-poster bed, and down to the tunnel.

The journey through the tunnel was sombre. They still didn't know what to expect on the other side and Remus's limp was getting steadily worse the further they walked, until finally Sirius suggested they take a quick break.

"I'm fine," Remus protested, even though he was already leaning against the wall of the tunnel.

"Wormtail needs a breather," Sirius replied breezily. Peter opened his mouth to object and then shut it with a click, glaring at Sirius in the soft light that was being cast from James's wand.

"We're almost there," James said, offering around a flask of pumpkin juice he'd retrieved from the bag, and chucking Remus some chocolate that was left over from his birthday stash.

The chocolate put a little bit of the colour back into Remus's face, though the rest probably helped too. When they started walking again he was still limping, but not as badly as he had been.

They reached the end of the tunnel sooner than they'd expected, and James, Remus and Sirius waited below while Peter slipped up and stilled the tree. Finally, they were out of the tunnel, walking across the grounds of Hogwarts. Funny, how it felt so much like coming home.

"Freeze!"

They did – not so much because of the command but because they hadn't been expecting a voice. Fucking stupid of them not to be wearing the cloak, really. James spotted the speaker first, obviously a seventh year. Her wand was pointed straight at his chest.

"Woah," he raised both hands in the universal sign of surrender and the others mimicked the action. Sure, there were four of them and one of her, but none of them wanted to hurt her – and they'd have to get to their wands first.

"Keep your hands where I can see them." Okay, two of them. Or thr- five. Well, they appeared to be surrounded. And someone had been watching too many muggle films.

"We're not here to attack," James began, but Sirius spoke over him.

"Hey, we're the good guys!"

"Give us your wands," the first girl spoke again. She could have just charmed them off them, and none of them were quite sure how to take the fact that she'd asked. Politeness, or incompetence? "One at a time!" She added as they all reached for their wands at once.

"I'll go first," Remus said. It made sense; if any of them were going to be of any use without a wand, it was Remus. He threw his wand to her and she caught it. She caught Sirius's too, but missed James's and Peter's flew way wide. Once she'd picked them up she nodded at the other kids and they all moved closer.

"We're going to bind you,' one of the boys said. He looked about sixteen, pimples on his cheeks, greasy hair. "Don't move."

"Wait a second," Sirius started, but Remus touched his arm and he closed his mouth, lips pressed together in a tight line.

"We'll take you to Dumbledore, and he'll decide what we do with you," the girl said, and Remus nodded. That sounded reasonable, and it was where they wanted to go, anyway.

They all stood still as the students worked their magic, sealing their arms tight by their sides but leaving their legs free to walk. Finally, they were done, and they moved in around them, marching them into the castle.

"I feel like a bloody idiot," Sirius whispered. Remus shot him a look. "This is stupid, what are we going to do without our wands?" Remus just raised an eyebrow at that, and Sirius bit back a laugh. It was true, there was nothing keeping them there right now. It would be nothing at all for James, Sirius and Peter to transform, Sirius would be able to take down the girl with their wands before they'd even know what had happened, and James could easily knock out four boys just by spinning around with his antlers. They were walking with these kids because they were taking them to where they wanted to go.

It was sad though. If they had been Death Eaters, these kids would be dead by now.

When they finally arrived in Dumbledore's office, the girl – who appeared to be in charge – left them outside his door and went in to speak to him. She came back out with a flush to her cheeks, and gestured for them to enter.

Dumbledore greeted them from behind his desk, lifting the charm the students had placed on them with a quick wave of his wand. "Thank you, Ellis," he nodded at the students who had brought the Marauders in. "I believe you'd better go relieve whoever you've organised to replace you on the doors." From the looks that passed between the students and how quickly they made their exit it appeared they had forgotten to organise such a thing.

"Why do you have  _students_  guarding the doors?" Sirius asked incredulously. Remus would have elbowed him except he was thinking the same thing. It did rather seem like a job for someone slightly more experienced.

"Hogwarts has its defences, my dear boy. Don't assume that just because you cannot see them, they are not there. The students need something to do, to feel useful. They've organised their own little army, you know." He smiled at them, peering over his half-moon glasses. "Now," he said, folding his hands on the desk before him. "What news have you to report?"

"We- well," James began, surprised at the question but ultimately ignoring it. "We need to find Gryffindor's sword."

"Indeed? And why, may I ask?"

"We think it is Voldemort's last Horcrux."

"Last?"

"Yes. We've destroyed five now. Ravenclaw's Diadem, Hufflepuff's cup, Slytherin's locket, Riddle's ring, and Riddle's diary. There should be one left."

"And you believe it is the sword?"

"Well, yes." James glanced over at Remus, then Sirius, then Peter, as if to check they agreed with his statement. They all nodded.

"It stands to reason, sir," Remus said. "If the other three House's objects were used…"

"Yes, I can see the logic in that," Dumbledore mused. "However, I can assure you that the sword is not a Horcrux." He stood, and slowly walked around his desk, coming to a halt before them. "Have you given thought to the notion that perhaps he only made five?"

"But, seven," Peter began, only to be interrupted by Sirius.

"In the memory, - er" he broke off, because Dumbledore didn't know about that, but the Professor was nodding so he awkwardly continued. "Riddle specifically spoke about seven pieces – seven pieces of soul would mean six Horcruxes."

"Yes," Dumbledore nodded. "But making Horcruxes takes time. Perhaps he hasn't yet made his sixth?"

"I'd rather not base the fate of the world on a perhaps, with all due respect, Sir." James responded for them all. "Perhaps he only made five, or perhaps there is an object somewhere that he used to make his sixth that we just don't know about. Something like the ring, or the diary. Only important to him."

"There is always that option," Dumbledore agreed. "However, you cannot find such an item if you don't know if or where it exists. And-" he was interrupted by the door suddenly flinging open.

"Lily!" James cried, and she turned her head to him.

"James!" She flew across the room and embraced him, pulling away almost immediately, hands holding his face still as she inspected him. "You're alive!"

"So are you!"

"Yes! Yes – oh," she released him and stepped back, shooting a quick smile at the others before turning to Dumbledore. "Edgar is back."

"Already?"

"He says there's going to be an attack tonight."

"Where?" Dumbledore crossed to his desk again to grab one of his many maps, but Lily stopped him.

"Here."


	13. Chapter 13

It was hard to believe that they'd studied in this very classroom just over a year ago now. It was in this room that they had first learned about the concept of Animagi, practiced countless spells, and slaved over textbooks taking notes. It was in this room that James had charmed a hundred paper planes to swoop the students and the Professor, that Peter had accidentally flooded with pumpkin juice when they were practicing transfiguring liquids, where Remus had ended up with a concussion after a badly misaimed spell transfigured the legs of his chair into spaghetti and sent him tumbling to the stone floor. Standing in it now, it didn't feel like it could possibly be the same place.

The room just felt different. Perhaps it was the absence of teaching and learning paraphernalia, or the abundance of scorch marks across the stone floors, or maybe the singed banners hanging near the door. It could have been the scattered maps and newspapers, splayed across every surface of the room, headlines leaping up from what could only be muggle papers with their still images and strange fonts. SUSPECTED CAR BOMB KILLS 27 PEOPLE AND INJURES 34; TERRORIST ATTACK IN CENTRAL LONDON KILLS 27 AND INJURES 34; POLICE INVESTIGATE AS PUBLIC DESPERATE FOR ANSWERS AFTER EXPLOSION. It looked like a headquarters.

It was.

Edgar Bones was an unassuming man with an impressive moustache and a receding hairline. He stood when he spoke, and his voice stayed steady throughout his speech. An impressive feat, considering the news he brought. Remus stared at the static pictures decorating the muggle newspapers and caught snatches of the horror that the rest of the world had been facing while they'd been on their quest.

"Took out Gringotts, and half of Diagon Alley with it."

That was their fault. Voldemort wouldn't have turned his attention to Gringotts if they hadn't taken the Cup. Fuck. The flames in the still photographs almost seemed to be moving, licking up the side of the buildings as they consumed them and the manic laughter of the Death Eaters echoed in Remus's mind.

"The muggles have passed the explosion off as a car bomb by their IRA."

Somehow, though they'd known they were fighting in a war, it had seemed isolated to their own efforts and setbacks. Now, sitting in this room, full of witches and wizards who all looked tired and stressed and on the verge of breaking, listening to the accounts of the missing and the dead… It was slowly sinking home that this was bigger than them.

"Fabion and Gideon still haven't reported in, we need to send someone out to check on them, it's been too long."

It was probably egotistical. Perhaps understandable. Perhaps everyone defines the world by their experiences, as if they occupy the only part of it that matters; forgetting conveniently that their story is but one part of the bigger picture, perhaps not even an important one. Perhaps it was necessary to forget that, or else it would be impossible to finish your story. What's the point in finishing something that is, after all, so insignificant?

"We've arranged for a funeral for the McKinnons next Tuesday."

Their quest, mission, thing, whatever they were calling it these days, wasn't insignificant though. Destroying Voldemort's Horcruxes was important – a literal prerequisite to destroying the man himself. If the Horcruxes still existed, Voldemort was invincible. Unbeatable. With them gone, there was a chance of victory. But they couldn't be sure they were all gone – in fact, they were fairly sure they weren't. Dumbledore might want them to consider the possibility that Voldemort didn't get a chance to make his sixth, but that was too much of an assumption to make, what with what was riding on it.

"He's got plans to attack here tonight."

"What do we know?" Dumbledore asked, though Remus's question would have been how. How did they know? Surely Voldemort wouldn't have just told them. Unless, of course, they had spies.

Of course they had spies. Which… Which lead to the horrifying realisation that Voldemort probably had spies too. Remus stopped himself from looking around the room as if he could somehow tell who they were, and focussed on Dumbledore and Bones.

"Not much. It will be tonight. After dark, but we haven't been able to pinpoint an exact time." Bones shrugged, palms raised to the ceiling.

"Have you sent the owls?"

"Yes, they're on their way. But…"

"They aren't going to get here in time," Dumbledore finished for him.

"No. We'll be lucky if they arrive before the battle is over."

"But," James interrupted before anyone could respond. "But, why are they attacking Hogwarts?"

"Because, Potter, we," Dumbledore gestured to the room grandly, as if it held more than the twenty odd people it did. "Are the last line of defence."

Well. That was encouraging.

**o 0 o**

Dumbledore called a meeting in the great hall.

The room was filled with students, and Remus felt an unexpected ache in his chest. This was his home, more than anywhere else had ever been, and after tonight it was never going to be the same again.

"Students, I have grave news," Dumbledore's voice rang out through the hall and the students' chatter died. The silence felt heavy. "Hogwarts is under threat. We shall be attacked tonight."

Some of the students started whispering, but Dumbledore cleared his throat and they fell silent again.

"We cannot hold the Castle on our own," he gestured down the table, encompassing the staff and the Order members standing off to one side. "But we shall not force you to fight. Anyone in sixth or seventh year who wishes to fight can stay in the hall. Anyone who wishes to leave, and any first, second, third, fourth, or fifth years, should follow Professor Egg now."

Professor Mordicus Egg, the muggle studies teacher, stood and strode down the hall, taking his place at the door. The noise from the students rose into a din as they tried to sort out who was staying and who was leaving. Remus glanced over at Sirius, and realised Peter was slipping away towards the door and Professor Egg.

Sirius opened his mouth to say something, but Remus caught his arm, stopping him. "Let him go," he said quietly. "If he wants to go, he has just as much a right to as anyone else." Sirius shrugged out of Remus's grip, but stayed quiet.

"Now," Dumbledore continued, looking around at the students who were left standing at their tables. A couple jumped up and ran towards the door, obviously having changed their minds at the last minute. "Harvey, you're in fifth year, I believe? Please follow Professor Egg." The kid in question grumbled, but left the hall. "Now," Dumbledore resumed. "Students please form into groups of ten to fifteen. Each group of students will have an order member, or staff member, with them." He paused. "I want to be sure each of you knows, and understands, that if you stay and fight, you may very well die tonight."

An uneasy silence settled over the excited whispering of the remaining students.

"This is not a game. The Death Eaters will not care that you are children, just as they did not care that the muggles they slaughtered in London last week were innocents. If you join this fight, you will see death. Some of you have already experienced the harsh reality of this war," Dumbledore looked around the room, at the serious faces staring back at him, nervous ones turned up towards the stormy ceiling or gazing fixedly at the floor. "We've lost good men and women, and we  _will_  lose more before the night is through."

How tempting it was to head for that door. The false promise of safety, sheltering the storm in the dungeons and waiting to see whether it would be friends or foe who came to let you out once the fighting was over. Remus felt sick at the thought. Better to die fighting – better not to die at all.

When it came down to it, really, they hadn't signed up for this. No one in this room had. Born into the wrong era, that was their crime. Standing in the Great Hall, where they'd danced for their Yule Ball, where they'd eaten countless breakfasts and lunches and dinners and opened letters, celebrated Christmas, learnt to duel, and sat exams. Now, they stood and wondered if they'd die here.

"Do you think You-Know-Who will be here?" One of the students asked, and the whole Hall went silent as everyone waited for the answer.

"Yes. Voldemort will be here tonight."

So. This was it then. If they hadn't destroyed all of the Horcruxes, then tonight the war would be won – by the wrong side. Any death delivered to Voldemort would be temporary at best, while on their side each loss would be felt hard.

**o 0 o**

"Do you think we're going to die?"

They were alone. The castle was awash with people running to and fro, organising their defences as best they could. They should be out there with them, really. But Sirius had pulled Remus into an empty classroom and they were sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall.

"Maybe." Remus leant his head back against the wall and looked over at Sirius. "Probably."

Sirius was silent for a while, not looking at Remus. Head tipped forward, hair falling down over his face as he stared at his feet.

"I don't want to die."

Remus turned his eyes to the ceiling high above them. They should be out with the others, helping. James was probably wondering where they were. If he had time to notice they were missing; it was chaos out there. Remus didn't think it would be fair to call it organised.

The silence stretched out between them like an abyss. Heavy, somehow, the hint of tears at the back of their throats, an ache in their chests. Too many thoughts, too many feelings, too much life waiting to be lived and only hours left to live it.

"Remus," Sirius moved forward onto his knees, closing the distance between them. Fingers cupped Remus's jaw, tilting his head towards him.

"Sirius," Remus replied quietly, eyes meeting Sirius' gaze as he allowed him to turn his head. Sirius's fingers were cool against his cheek, somehow comforting. A gentle touch, familiar and unfamiliar at the same time, a gesture that somehow spoke louder than any words could have right now. Pressure that increased slightly as he spoke, callouses rough against the underside of his throat. He kept his eyes open, locked on Sirius's even as Sirius moved closer, and closer still.

"I don't want to lose you," Sirius's voice was barely above a whisper now. Remus could feel the tremor in the fingers against his jaw. Feel Sirius's breath, hot, coming too fast. See the tears that Sirius refused to ever let fall. The lump at the back of his own throat held back any reply he could have made, but Sirius could obviously see it written across his face because he leaned forward and banished that last small amount of space between them. Remus felt the wet of Sirius's tears against his cheeks and closed his eyes on his own.

Even as they drew apart, they stayed somehow locked together; Sirius's hands cupping Remus's face, Remus's fingers tangled in Sirius's shirt, holding too tight, knuckles white, as if letting go would mean the end of something that hadn't even started yet.

"Sirius," Remus whispered his name, voice too clouded with tears to speak. Sirius's knees were pressed up against Remus's, thighs touching.

"I know," Sirius replied, tipping his head down and pressing his forehead to Remus's. "I know."

If they could have stayed like that forever, they would have. No one interrupted them. No one would. But they knew they were needed elsewhere. There were bigger things happening tonight. Bigger than them. Bigger than everyone there. And they were too entangled in this war to sidestep from it now. The thought didn't even cross their minds.

**o 0 o**

They had known it was coming, but they were still taken by surprise.

The courtyard was chaos. Voices rang above the sound of bodies hitting stone. A macabre cacophony of violence and death. Curses flew, wands cut through the air like fragile wooden swords, and lives ended.

Remus didn't know where any of his friends were. The last he had seen of Sirius, he'd been blocking curses sent at him by one of his cousins. James had been fighting alongside Lily, but Remus had lost sight of them in the mass of people. They were outnumbered, even with the students fighting alongside them. Remus wasn't so sure whether they had been enlisted to help even the odds or just to give the Death Eaters more targets to aim at. He didn't have time to dwell on it, thoughts flashing through his mind at lightning pace as he ducked behind a pillar only to have it explode above him, rock and dust raining down on top of him as he covered his head with his arms.

There was no way they were going to win this fight.

"STUPIFY!" A sixth year stumbled into Remus, moving backwards. Merlin, a child, using a child's curse. Remus managed to pull the kid out of the way of the first killing curse the Death Eater sent at them, but not the second.

"No, no, no," he pushed at the body now on top of him, firing spells at the Death Eater blindly as he struggled to get back to his feet. There was no time to feel sick, but he could taste the bile in the back of his throat all the same.

"THE GIANTS ARE COMING!" Someone's voice boomed throughout the courtyard, obviously magically enhanced. Remus ducked another killing curse and then finally hit his target through pure luck, the man screaming as he burst into flames.

"Merlin," Remus stumbled back from what he'd done, nearly tripping over the corpse of the sixth year he'd failed to protect.

"Don't watch," A voice was in his ear and someone grabbed his shoulder, pulling him around behind the wreckage of the pillar. "Don't think. Just do whatever it takes to survive." Hands pushed him forward, planted between his shoulder blades, and he heard the screaming behind him cut off abruptly.

The ground shook, and he nearly fell. Standing still wasn't going to get him anywhere other than dead, so he moved forward, back into the fray.

"Confringo!" He shot the curse into the midst of a group of Death Eaters that were advancing through the courtyard. The explosion sent them flying backwards, flames catching onto their robes as their screams got lost in the sounds of the battle around them. But it didn't take long for someone to start casting extinguishing spells and their advance was hardly affected.

The courtyard was peppered with stone statues, some bright seventh year had started casting the hardening spell out of panic and the Death Eaters were too focused on attacking to stop and free their comrades – if they even thought of them as such – from their stone confinements. Lights flashed as curses flew, red, blue, deathly green. A statue exploded, sending shards of rock ricocheting in all directions, a death eater fell with part of his head suddenly gone. It was hard to move without crashing into friends or enemies, dodging curses, evading death by millimetres.

The problem was, only one side was fighting to win. The other – the side they were on – was fighting simply to survive.

Remus was caught across the face by a clawed hand and found himself snarling back when he gained his feet. Greyback, the face that had haunted his dreams since he was a child, twisted even now when the moon was at half-mast. There was a temptation, something deep and primal within him that wanted to fight this battle with his bare hands and teeth, but – and Remus would hold onto this for the rest of his life – he raised his wand instead, blasting the werewolf from such close range that he felt the heat sear his hands and cheeks, throwing him backwards away from the destruction he had created.

He was still lying on the ground when he heard it. A loud clanking screech, like a door being slowly ripped from its hinges, rang out through the courtyard, followed by a crash, and then another, and another, until they blended into a drawn out rumble impossible to ignore.

The Castle doors swung open.

At first, Remus thought the cavalry had arrived. Literally. It took a moment before he realised that the suits of armour were empty, the horses made from iron and stone, silver, gold, bronze.

"Hogwarts is threatened!" It was McGonagall's voice that rang out from behind the statues and suits of armour that stood, poised in the doorway. "Do your duty – protect our school!"

Remus couldn't watch as they began to pour into the courtyard, clanking and shouting, waving swords and swinging spiked balls on chains. He had other things to focus on. But the appearance of the statues, big and small, that he recognised from around the castle – the one-eyed witch that guarded the passage to Honeydukes was near the front of the stampede – made him feel slightly less like this was an already lost cause. They needed backup, they needed the owls to have reached their destinations and brought back reinforcements, but there was no way to know if that support was coming. At least the statues gave the Death Eaters more to think about.

And then Voldemort arrived.

Typical, really. He sent in his minions first to clear the way for him before he strolled into the courtyard. Flanked by his closest supporters, Bellatrix Lestrange, Lucius Malfoy, others Remus didn't recognise, and a giant green snake, he looked invincible.

Remus really hoped he wasn't.

**o 0 o**

It was the snake, in the end, that got him. Remus hadn't seen it coming and then he was pinned to the ground, the air completely knocked out of his lungs by the impact, wand skittering across the cobblestones. All he could do was close his eyes and hope it would be quick.

Only, instead of fangs driving into him, or a gaping mouth swallowing him whole, a heavy weight crashed down on top of him with an unearthly scream that reminded him of the Horcruxes. He couldn't get out from under the writhing body of the dying snake, couldn't see a thing, couldn't breathe, didn't know what was happening. His mind was still catching up to the fact he was alive while his lungs were screaming at him to take a breath, but he was winded, not dead. Hands grabbed his shoulders and pulled him in the right direction, and he came face to face with Peter.

"Peter," he managed, still struggling to breathe.

"Yeah." Peter smiled; a strange expression of pride tinged with panic, and then turned and disappeared into the battle. Remus looked down at the snake to see the Basilisk fang they'd been carrying around for the last however many months lodged deep in the back of its head. Then he took Peter's lead and moved before someone could notice him standing there like a target, collecting his wand on the way.

At some stage reinforcements had arrived. Centaurs, House Elves, Giants, family and friends of those already there and fighting. The tide was turning, Death Eaters finding themselves outnumbered. Peter wasn't the only student who had escaped from the Dungeons and come up to fight, and the balance had finally shifted in their favour.

Bones, Dumbledore, and Moody were battling with Voldemort himself, but he was evading their advances easily, laughing as they failed to defeat him. Even as Remus glanced over at them, Bones fell lifelessly to the ground. James took his place and Remus couldn't look away even though everything in him was screaming to.

"Merlin, James, no," he started fighting his way towards them, throwing curses blindly as he tripped over corpses and dodged flashes of light. He was too far away.

Lily, sweet Lily, blood running down the side of her face, matting her hair to her head and obscuring her vision in one eye, got there first. She threw the killing curse with such force that she nearly threw her wand with it, and the look of surprise on Voldemort's face as it hit him square in the back only reinforced how invincible he felt he was. And how mortal, in the end.

It was anti-climactic. Voldemort fell, just as the sixth year had fallen on Remus earlier, body lifeless and empty. And what had been chaos before erupted into something worse, something beyond chaos, a complete confusion of noise and light. Death Eaters ran, others roared with anger and doubled their efforts. Remus saw Sirius for the first time since the battle had begun, duelling with Bellatrix, laughing in her face as she realised Voldemort had been defeated.

Remus was too far away to hear what curse she used, but he was close enough to see Sirius fall backwards as it hit him.


	14. Chapter 14

The fighting continued.

Lights flashed. People fell.

Remus only saw Sirius.

He should have died a dozen times on the way across the courtyard. He wasn't paying attention, focused only on reaching Sirius as quickly as possible.

Sirius was sprawled across the shattered remains of a statue. His eyes were open, glazed with pain. Remus fell to his knees beside him, hands reaching for his face.

"Fuck, fuck, Sirius," Remus couldn't breathe. At least he was alive. He hadn't expected him to be alive when he had seen him fall. Whatever Bellatrix had done, whatever curse she had used, at least it hadn't been the killing curse. He was alive. He was alive.

That was about the extent of the good news, though. Sirius's mouth was moving, but no sound came out. Just blood, spilling out the side of his lips and smearing across his cheeks as gravity claimed it. His nose was bleeding too, rivers of red, and there was blood in his hair from his ears. But Remus couldn't see where Sirius was hurt. There was no wound, nothing that Remus could focus on trying to fix. Sirius was just dying in front of him. There was nothing he could do.

Nothing.

"Merlin, Sirius, don't die, please." Remus dimly noticed the chill of a shield charm as it was erected around them, but he didn't look away from Sirius's face to see who had cast it. The battle wasn't over. But it had ended for him the moment Bellatrix's curse had hit Sirius. Nothing could make him leave Sirius's side now.

Sirius's bloody face was lit intermittently by flashes of light, like some kind of macabre Christmas display. Remus wanted to clean away the blood, but his fingers just smeared it across Sirius's pale skin, mixing it with the salt of his own tears as they fell onto his friend.

Friend. Merlin. Sirius was more than that, surely. Sirius was everything. In that moment, Remus knew that if Sirius didn't survive, he wouldn't. It wasn't a loss he could take.

War was a funny thing. With all of the shouting, the clang of metal, the crash of stone, with all the screams and the sound of feet pounding against the hard ground, with all of the noise it was somehow silent. Quiet. A buzz of chaos, a roar of death and the universal struggle for life. It tasted like bile and smelled like copper. It felt like an end.

He was dimly aware of his own voice, repeating words he wasn't aware of forming. Promises and threats and desperate pleas. Sirius's eyes never left his face. Full of pain, and fear, and something else that Remus couldn't put a name to. The same something that was threatening to consume him as images of life without Sirius forced themselves unbidden into his mind.

If only there was  _something_  he could do.

He felt so useless, watching. Pleading to nothing for his everything to be okay. He wished he could turn back time and do everything over. Be there as Sirius fought with Bellatrix, stop the spell before it could hit him. Go right back to the start of all of this and take the fall for that stupid prank in the Great Hall, join Sirius in the headmasters office and stop him from falling into Slughorn's memory. Anything, if it meant Sirius wasn't dying on the cobblestones where they'd had their first snowball fight and Sirius had nailed Remus in the face and they'd laughed as Remus's blood turned the snow pink.

"Remus," a hand was on his shoulder, firm but gentle. "Let me see him."

Madam Pomfrey. Remus hadn't even realised that the fighting had slowed, ground to a halt as those who were left either emerged victorious or fell lifeless into the dust and rubble and blood from countless others who had fallen before them.

He didn't want to let go of Sirius's face, didn't want to move where Sirius couldn't see him, in case Sirius thought he was gone. Thought he was leaving him. The hand on his shoulder slid to his wrist, pulling his hand away from Sirius's face and placing it over Sirius's hand. Remus curled his fingers around Sirius's, letting Madam Pomfrey move him out of the way so she could inspect Sirius. So she could save him.

If he could be saved.

Madam Pomfrey was pouring a potion into Sirius's mouth, holding his head in the crook of her arm and coaxing him to swallow a small amount at a time. Remus watched in silence, clinging to Sirius's hand as if he could hold him on this plane by will alone.

"He needs to go to Mungo's." It took Remus a few moments to process the words.

"Is he…"

"I don't know." Madam Pomfrey had sent up a flare of sparks above them. A detached part of Remus's mind realised that there were other such lights flickering above other bodies around the courtyard. Urgent, they seemed to say. Take me first.

There were a lot of people moving around, arms filled with potions and bandages and faces filled with horror and grief. Students who hadn't been old enough to fight, or too scared, holding everyone together now that the flashes of death had been replaced with the slow reality of dying.

"They're not far away," she promised, as she rose to move to the next person. "There's nothing else I can do," she added, when Remus clutched at the hem of her robe to stop her from leaving. "Keep talking to him. There are other people I can help." Remus let her go, swallowing down the bile that rose in his throat and that other something that threatened to tear him apart.

"Remus…" Sirius's voice was faint, broken, nearly not there at all. Remus was over him again in a breath, hands gentle on his cheeks.

"Shh, don't talk."

"No, I…" Remus shook his head, pressed his lips to Sirius's forehead.

"I know, I know. I love you too."

**o 0 o**

The emergency Mediwizards appeared in the courtyard together. Remus wondered how they'd managed that, but realised as they started to disappear again with their patients – students, children, professors Remus had known half his life – that the Anti-Disapparition Jinx on the castle must have been lifted.

"And how are you?" A Healer in his lime green robes knelt on Sirius's other side, and Remus reluctantly released him again, hope and despair flaring equally inside of his chest. "Let's get you back to Mungo's. It's going to be alright, okay?"

Sirius's eyes flicked to Remus and the Mediwizard nodded, "of course, your friend can come. Hold tight."

Apparating was never fun. Remus fucking hated it. But doing it like this – with Sirius like this – but the Healer knew what he was doing. He was trained for this. Trained to Apparate people who were on the verge of death, to get them to Mungo's as quickly as possible.

And the worst part was he knew why he was allowed to come. The Mediwizard didn't think Sirius was going to make it.

**o 0 o**

Hogwarts was going to have a lot of new ghosts.

The Great Hall had been turned into a morgue. Bodies were laid out in neat rows where the tables usually stood, blank eyes staring up at the stormy ceiling. Two Hufflepuff boys, barely fourteen, stumbled under the weight of a seventh year Ravenclaw as they carried his body toward the end of the row. Not all of those ghosts would be dead.

James was looking for Lily. She'd been with him when the fighting had slowed and then ended, but they'd been separated since as they tried to do what they could to help those more injured than they.

James had been lucky. He'd come through the mess with barely a scratch. Lily had been bleeding when he last saw her, her fiery hair matted to her skull with congealing blood. But she'd been okay. Sirius – he'd seen Remus kneeling over him, caught a glimpse of the green robes of the Mediwizard before the three of them had Disapparated out of the courtyard. He was trying not to think about it. Sirius was his brother, in all but blood, and if he – but he wasn't thinking about that. He was looking for Lily.

The courtyard was cold after the stuffy heat and cloying smell of death inside. It looked no better than it had when he'd left it. Less bodies, as the dead were taken inside and the injured treated or taken to Mungo's where more experienced Healers could work their magic. Less bodies, but the devastation remained. Death Eaters were being de-masked, their bodies not taken inside but moved to a relatively undamaged area of the courtyard and laid out respectfully, as if anyone would claim kinship to them now, after this. James could have sworn he saw Snivellus, his greasy face looking more pathetic in death than it ever had in life, but he didn't stop to check. It was no victory.

Lily was helping a Slytherin student who was nursing his left arm and swearing through tears. From the snatches that James caught as he headed towards them, the betrayal of friends was biting harder than the wound to his flesh. Lily's smile was sympathetic, her touch light as she directed him to the tent that some Hufflepuffs had set up to treat the more minor of injuries, under Nurse Wainscott's tutelage. James reached her as the student left, and she turned that sad smile to him.

"Frank killed Podmore," she said, by way of greeting. James turned in the direction her eyes flicked and saw Longbottom at the end of the courtyard. He was too far away to see his face, but the set of his shoulders told him all he needed to know about his mental state. "They were best friends."

"He didn't have a choice," James said, as if that could make it better. Sirius flashed into his mind and he banished him again, every part of him aching to go and make sure he was okay. Terrified to go and find out he wasn't.

"No," Lily agreed, stepping forward to wrap her arms around James and press her face into the front of his shirt. His hands ended up in her hair, still sticky with blood.

It should feel better, knowing it was over. Voldemort was gone. Defeated. His followers were dead or scattered, powerless without their leader. But there was no victory in this. How could there be victory in this? Too many people dead, too many injured, too many more inching their way toward death in hospital beds, alone. And yet the war was over, even if the last – the hardest – battle was not yet won.

All they had left to do was survive it.

**o 0 o**

Sirius slept.

Slept.

Alive.

Remus clung to the word like a lifeline. Alive. Sirius was alive.

He didn't notice the others arriving until James spoke.

"How is he?"

Peter and Lily were there too, all looking rather the worse for wear. Remus wondered how he looked himself.

"Alive." The word sounded like a prayer on his tongue.

**o 0 o**

Peter was the first to notice that Sirius was awake. James and Lily were asleep against each other, and Remus's head was resting on the bed, fingers still tangled with Sirius's.

"Hey Wormy," Sirius's voice was hoarse, but less broken than the last time he'd used it. Remus's head lifted at the sound.

"Padfoot," Peter replied, fighting against his grin and failing to supress it.

"Sirius," Remus's free hand fluttered, wanting to touch Sirius's face again, assure himself that he was real, that he wasn't dreaming this. Sirius squeezed his fingers and smiled in a slightly off kilter way that made Remus's eyes fill with tears all over again.

Peter elbowed James awake.

"The fuck," he began, but broke off when he saw Sirius's eyes were open. "Sirius! You're awake!"

"I'm awake," Sirius agreed, and then he repeated, voice filled with wonder. "I'm awake. I'm alive."

"Well, you're not quite there yet," another voice spoke from behind them, a Healer coming to check on her charge. "But you're doing a mighty fine job." Peter moved aside so that the Healer could check Sirius's vital signs, and they all waited as Sirius swallowed his potions and followed the Healer's instructions in a way Sirius had probably never actually followed instructions before in his life.

"Voldemort?" Sirius asked, once the Healer had left.

"Proper dead, this time," James told him. "Lily killed him." He looked proud enough that it might have been his own wand to have cast the curse. Lily, still leaning against James's shoulder, rolled her eyes.

"Nice to see you awake, Sirius," she told him.

"Nice to be awake," he replied, though his usually charming smile was still crooked and shaky. "So it's over?"

"Mostly, yeah." James answered again. "Some of the Death Eaters got away, but with Voldemort gone there's not much they can do. The Ministry already has Aurors out searching for the ones they know of."

"Bellatrix?"

"She disappeared."

Sirius sighed. "And our side?"

"Bones is dead, so are Podmore and Emmeline. He was hit by an Imperius curse, killed her. Longbottom killed him." He'd hesitated, not wanting to hurt his best friend, and Emmeline had paid for that hesitation with her life. "A lot of people are dead."

And Sirius was lucky not to be one of them.

"I saw you," he said, looking at Peter now. "In the courtyard."

"Yeah," Peter replied.

"Saved my life," Remus said, speaking for the first time since Sirius had woken up. "Thank you."

"Well," Peter's cheeks were flushed red. "I couldn't let you get eaten by a  _snake_."

"I thought you went to the dungeons though?" James said.

"Well, yeah. I, uh, came back out."

"No shit."

"I, well. I was sitting there, waiting for something to happen. And I realised, I couldn't stay there. Yeah, I might die if I was out fighting, but at least I'd die for my friends, just like you were willing to die for me. And, and I couldn't stay, then." He rubbed a hand against the back of his neck and stared at Sirius's hospital bedspread. "It was easy enough to get out; the dungeons aren't exactly rat proof." A wry smile. "I'm glad I did."

"I'm glad you did too," Remus said seriously. Sirius squeezed his hand again.

**o 0 o**

Sirius recovered.

Many others didn't. His time in Mungo's was punctuated by the grieving of friends and relatives of his ward-mates. Howling cries of misery and soft broken sobs came from across the room, while his friends sat with him and kept him up-to-date on what was unfolding outside.

Bellatrix was eventually captured. She'd surfaced to attack the Longbottoms, and she would live to regret it as she rotted in Azkaban. Frank and Alice had been okay, or would be, given time. Remus found himself entirely able to hate her, in a way he hadn't thought himself capable of. A burning hate that started in the pit of his stomach and made his hands curl into fists when he thought of what she had done – what she had  _tried_ to do.

But she had failed. Sirius was alive.

James and Lily got married. It was a small ceremony. Sirius stood proud as James's best man, still pale after too long spent in a hospital bed, but very much alive. Remus walked Lily down the aisle because her family refused to attend. She said she didn't mind, but she did, and James kissed her and told her that they were their own family now. Peter caught the bouquet, to everyone's amusement, and even though he went bright red and stammered he couldn't wipe the smile off his face.

The war left people suspicious and angry for a long time. Grief manifested itself, wrapped around families and dragged them down into its thick mire. But there was hope, twining amongst the shattered remains of their pasts. Weddings, births, and new beginnings. Life continued, and it dragged everyone along with it.

**o 0 o**

"You coming, Moony?" Sirius stood silhouetted in the doorway. Remus looked up from his book.

"You're ready, then?"

"Been ready for ages," Sirius lied, teeth flashing with his grin. Remus didn't throw the book at him, because Remus didn't throw books, but he considered it for a moment.

"We're not taking that awful bike," he warned.

"Aw, Moony, you're no fun." Sirius dodged away from Remus's half-hearted attempt to swat him, catching his hand and pulling him around to pin him against the doorframe.

"We're going to be late," Remus told him.

"We're always late."

Remus huffed a laugh. " _You're_  always late," he replied, reaching forward to straighten Sirius's tie. "But you can't be late to your own Godson's Christening."

Sirius couldn't wipe the smile off his face.


End file.
